Friday, October 21, 2011

PR9EP13: I See Dead People...And They Inspire Me

Well, this'll be a snap. No real challenge, no shared workroom, no drama. At least until Josh Crawford opens his yap. See, we're down to the Final Four and they are all sent home, with $9000 and five weeks to create a 10-piece collection for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Of course, Little Josh Crawford whines that five weeks isn't enough time for ten looks, when he's just finished a competition where he made a dress in a day. Ten looks in 35 days? Should be a snap, Joshy.
The designers will have one last showing, of three looks, in order to move the judges into sending them to the tents. Three looks, three designers.
Let's rip.....
He's a poser. the boots with the jeans trucked in; the over gelled hair and the way too arched eyebrows. I really find him to be less about design and more about himself, between his plastic face--and some of the plastic pieces in his collection--and his very breathy, yet stilted way of speaking
As someone once said, infamously, to that other J Crawford: "I am NOT one of your fans."
And Tim is a little skeptical, too, when he sees Josh's collection, and his fabric choices. I haven't seen that much fabric being tossed aside since I stood backstage at a drag show between sets.
Tim mutters words like "Gimmick" and "Sad" and "Cheap" which doesn't bode well.
Joshy arrives in NYC first, and races to the penthouse, and "enters the terrace" wishing his mother could be there so she could see him, in all his manufactured glory. A sudden gust of wind, and Mama Joshy has voiced her approval. Or else the wind just blew through. or maybe, because everyone else mentioned a dead relative, Josh wanted to follow suit.
Since Tim's visit, Josh has restarted his collection, and, well, I must say, I see an improvement. His gray and black jackets are very cool and edgy and modern, with little cutouts; and the neoprene fabric is an odd, cool choice. What isn't cool is the hot pink neoprene pants. Neon. Ne-effing-on. That went out in the 80s. Plus, his third look is some blue, flowy, drapey number that, as Tim says, makes the Three Collection seem schizophrenic.
That jacket, on the first look, is very cool, and if he made menswear jackets like that, even with the cutouts, I'd pay retail. I hated the neon pink pants, as I've said, so let's shield our eyes and look away. His Little Black Dress is cool, though it seems like an odd, tight fit, and that little breast belt is weird. 
But that gown. Or stretch pant. Or draped number. That, from the front, was lovely, even with the plastic neckpiece, it seemed really elegant. But the back, where it became some slutty stretch pant, where it puckered at the zipper, and where it gaped above that, and where it seemed to open at the sides, and where it resembled a loaded diaper, was just sad.
Heidi loved the modern, forward, edge of the clothes, and even liked the pink pant. Seriously Heidi? Stop it. She liked the cool jacket, but without the belt. Kors liked the belt, but then suggested it go on the dress--at which point Josh...and I won't say he lied, but I think he did--said the belt was meant to be on the dress. 
Kors hated the "modesty tab" on the dress, and hated, hated, detested, loathed, catcalled and shrieked at the draped gown, catsuit, fat-assed thing. Nina loved that overdone Josh actually had the best styling, but still felt he wasn't pushing the edit button all the way.

In his fifth-floor walk-up design studio, Victor tells us that he recently took a trip to Guadalajara, for his brother's death anniversary and he was inspired while on that trip.
He took several photographs of palm trees and sunsets and then had his own textile created from them; prints he thinks, that are so Nina. He's made the obligatory leather jacket, as he's done all season, and likes the rocker vibe of his clothes. I'm thinking he'll show what he's shown all season: well-made clothes and leather jackets in blacks and whites.
Tim, after catching his breath from his five-story hike, admires Viktor's collection, and how much he has done, but he worries about the volume level on the designs: "Knock their effing socks off!"
Back in NYC, Viktor is all confident with his three looks. He has that Nina print and a jacket Heidi will love. And I'm sure there's a lovely little cocktail number Kors might like to borrow. But it makes me wonder if he's designing for a show, and for his prospective client, or is he simply showing things that the judges will like.
His first look I like. The flowy, mini dress with the zippered-leather skirt over the top. It's edgy and fun, and very different. His mirrored top, under a tuxedo jacket, is a miss for me. Plus, while I liked the prints he created, when they are sewn into this pant, it just looks like her crotch is oozing, and that can't be good. Plus, i have this aversion to pants that have a print on the front and a solid color on the back. 
I liked the gown, though I don't like she see-thru to the models undergarments. And, while I liked the jacket, a lot, it just didn't seem to fit with the elegance of the gown.
Of course the judges loved his stuff. all very well-made, beautifully tailored, lovely prints. But then they set about restyling his girls. They removed the gorgeous leather jacket with the pearled sleeves and called the gown by itself 'fantastic. They took off the zippered leather over-skirt and dubbed the cocktail dress beautiful. They didn't say too much about the tuxedo mirror ball suit. 
Except for Heidi, who did like the mirror top, because she likes beads and sheen and pearls. Kors also had a problem with the styling, saying that if it doesn't help the garment then don't use it. Nina seems to agree with Kors, though she did love the prints and how they came to be. She wanted the leather skirt removed and wanted a few less tricks from Viktor.

Her home visit will be Tim's first of the episode, and for some reason, this Brooklyn girl, with the Brooklyn edge, with the Brooklyn-inspired collection, is designing in Maryland. Did i miss a memo, or is Maryland suddenly one of the boroughs of NYC?
She takes Tim to her workroom, and shows him her inspiration board where she hopes to create something for the Brooklyn girl, pre-gentrification; which i think means big hair and attitude, but Kim thinks means lots of bracelets and big purses. 
And then she throws her deceased mother into the mix, saying her mother's style is the style she wants to recreate. It's a nice sentiment, but since her mother passed away in 1993, it might be a little dated. And, with Viktor's story, and Josh's stories, and Anya's to follow, I'm getting a serious death vibe from the show.
Still, Tim likes what he sees. "It's very you....but it needs a wow."
In the workroom, during Tim's visit, Kimberly is rambling about this piece, and loving it, and that piece, we know that one, and the bags and the shoes and the jewels, until Tim grabs her and tells her to center herself and get three looks that will wow the judges into giving her the golden ticket to Mercedes Benz.
Kimberly always seems to need that wake-up call, and a Tim Gunn hug.
Her first look, I sorta liked, though I have an aversion to that color of blue; especially when it's paired with shoes the same color. But I loved the flirty top, all sexy from the back. The second look, with the bubble skirt; I wasn't a fan of the pink and blue color combination, and it, too, looked a little like a full diaper from behind. But it brought the sexy back, um, back.
However, for me, the gown saved her. Sleek and chic and shiny, all the things I love in a gown. Not that I wear gowns. Much.
Kors loved that he could tell instantly that this was a Kimberly collection; that means she has a strong POV, which is good for a designer. He liked the roughness, and the attitude, but hated, hated, the matchy shoes--it looks a little like a cobalt blue club foot--the too-many bangles, and the big bags. He also found her styling off-putting. 
Nina agreed about the over-styling and the over-accessorizing, though she thought Kimberly's collection could look cool, with less stuff. Heidi hated the bubble butt skirt--even after Kors half-heartedly defended it--and felt it looked like a cartoon. 
Which it kinda did.
SpongeBob Bubble Butt?

Tim in the islands, maneuvering down a gangplank, is sheer joy. Tim in a serious suit being boated to an island is lovely. I love Tim Gunn, but I digress.
Anya introduces Tim to her brothers, Will and Yves, and their accents are all adorable and elegant--a favorite word of Brother Will. Anya tells Tim that she was inspired by the death of her brother, and will name her collection and her stores, and maybe er firstborn, after him.
What she can't name is a single dress she's made, because she's all Tobago inspiration board, and gorgeous fabrics, but no clothes. Tim is worried. The one who can't sew actually hasn't sewn. Hell, she hasn't even sketched.
By the time she returns to NYC, she does have some clothes made, but she seems to have fallen back into the flowy, island print thing, and strayed away from some of the more singularly colored structured pieces that helped her win the last few challenges.
And that's what Tim notes in his critique as she presents the three looks she'll show the judges as the final challenge. She's got nothing new.
But her first look seems to be a cool combo of what she's shown this season. It's the Anya print, with the new Anya structure, and I think it works very well. What doesn't work, for me, is the bathing suit, and the cover-up. The suit is kind of boring, and the cover-up looks like the window sheers we found in a closet when we bought our house. It's doesn't say tropical island, as much as it says Weekend At Chernobyl. 
The gown. Wow. I liked the idea of the peek-a-boo print that was revealed as the model walked, but, talk about poorly made. No, let's not.
Nina loved the hybrid of Anya styles in look one, but thought the styling was off. It needed flats and a more beachy vibe. Heidi also liked look one, but thought the swimsuit and cover-up up seemed drab. And do not get her started on the gown, that was puckered and heavy and seemed to have been made at the last minute. She also felt that the collection seemed to be missing Anya's signature. Kors called the gown tortured, and I don't know if he meant the dress, or the audience for having to look at it. He also called her styling off.

So, there you have it.
Josh Crawford was the first one sent to the tents, and I will say, okay, it was good. Not as good, for me, as Viktor, who  got the next spot. I think he's a much stronger designer than Josh, who's a poser, in his life and in his clothes. That left the girls to duke it out, and Kimberly, from Brooklyn-via-Maryland came out on top.
Then, of course, came the unexpected, and Anya was also sent through. Should she have been? I don't think so. Not by what she showed last night. I mean, she's done good stuff all season, but her collection of three was a miss.
Still, the Final Four remained four, and I will be happy for whomever wins.
Unless it's Josh Crawford, whose over-botoxed, over-arched, over-made-up face nearly cracked when he realized Anya would show as well. He could scarcely hide his shock and his disgust that anyone, other than he and Viktor, should show: 
"I'm confused....gasp.....Four people still in the game...breathiness.....I don't think Kimberly's and Anya's critiques went that well....bitchiness.......I don't think either of them should go....cattiness.....This isn't the fuddy-duddy, like you know,'s New York Fashion Week!"
And I, for one, though I think it's more, hope its the last we hear of Josh Crawford.


froggy said...

You should have heard us at the Ponder house when Josh's model turned the corner and we saw that the gown was actually a bib for pants!! omg!!

Then Kimberly's model turned the corner and the pink skirt - dear gawd!! The front was skewing to the side - reminded me of a girdle and the back?!?! We hated her color and fabric choices.

Viktor's panties forward gown - do real women wear these??? I don't think I've seen even the sluttiest of actresses wear them.

Anya - so NOT a surprise that she got nothing done. Even the most even handed of designers talked about helping her. She had to go back to Basic Anya.

Honestly I don't think we've ever had a more fugly bunch of finalists.

Sigh. Bring on the All Stars!

Anonymous said...

As much as I dislike Josh, I think I agree with him. I would be PISSED if I had worked for five weeks to win a challenge that nobody lost. Anya should not be showing. I don't like any of them this year but I'm hoping victor wins. Even though the women I know won't buy dresses with shards or mirrors attached at the chest.

Anonymous said...

I was very disappointed in last night's episode. I'll have something to say about it by tomorrow afternoon but it won't be anything more than a rant.

Tivo Mom said...

I have to watch the finale, just because, but I am so over this season. Ready for the all-stars...oh and Josh can suck it.