Here we are, the Final Challenge. The one that will determine the four who will create collections for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Well, the four who will have their mini-collections shown on Lifetime, until the judges Auf one more and send three to Fashion Week.
The challenge is to visit Governor's Island, and become inspired by the nature, the architecture, the sculpture, your own inner diva, and the create three inspired looks that show some semblance of a range. It's simple, it's easy, it's nearing the end.
Except for the Velvet Bag, which usually spells doom, but this time spelled Auf'd Designer Returns To Help.
She was inspired by the sculptures on the island and how they look different depending on how one would look at them. After being left with Bryce and Bert as her assistant choices, she picks Bert. She may not have liked Bert throughout the season, but he grew on her, and, well, he isn't Bryce.
Her looks will not be flowy, patterned jumpery gowns, but will be simple, asymmetrical looks; a black cocktail dress, a white gown, and a rust pant and top. After last week's win for her simple structured look, Anya has decided to skip the wild and go for the sophisticated.
Bert thinks Anya is the most talented, but has issues with Anya's inability to sew, or understand sewing concepts and terms; plus, he reads her origami-like sketches and wants to run and hide. But he soldiers on.
Tim sees the range in Anya's designs--though Josh Crawford clearly disagrees and says so, in hushed tones, all day long--and loves the simple, singular color palette of each look.
Her three looks come together, at the last minute as usual. In fact, it's so last minute that she actually puts the white gown on her model, backwards and inside out. Tim mutters that the dress should come with instructions.
Instructions on style. I loved the black cocktail dress; it was slightly reminiscent of a mullet to me. it was demure--or all business--in the front, and sexy hot--or party--in the back. Her rust pant and top outfit was effortless, and chic, while the white gown seemed cool, but a little stiff and bland.
But I got her inspiration, each outfit looked a little different when view from a different angle.
Nina dubbed it a modern concise collection, while Michael Kors called it sophisticated and applauded Anya for pushing herself. Heidi loved the black mullet dress but saw issues with the white dress, which Guest judge Zoe Saldana said looked a little like a condom--and I couldn't help but laugh and agree. But she liked the other looks and loved how Anya cuts her clothes.
Anya says she should show at Fashion Week, along with Viktor, because he's so commercial, and Josh Crawford, because he talked smack about her constantly behind her back, or maybe because he has a singular POV.
In the end, Anya is the first one picked for the tents, or the Last Chance Challenge, in effect giving her three wins in a row.
He wasn't so thrilled with Governor's Island as much as he was inspired by seeing Manhattan and the skyline from a distance. he decides to use that influence in his work. And the Auf'ee that he chose to work with was Olivier, who continued his whining ways of complaining about model's boobs, fabric choices, and being a slave--because he had to work for someone else and not get paid for it....for about ten hours.
Poor Olivier. His stint reminded me of why I leapt for joy when his sorry whiny butt was sent home.
Viktor will make a simple black dress, a separates outfit of pants, blouse, and flowy leather jacket, and a skirt and blouse. As I see his designs, I am not getting too thrilled; it's kind of one note and dull. But Tim sees it as sophisticated and organic, and Very Viktor.
One thing I didn't like about Viktor this week, was his Bitch About Anya Edit. She can't sew. She isn't making a jacket--channeling Josh Crawford.
Um, Vik, Anya has whipped your ass at least three times during the competition, twice in the last two challenges, so, um, maybe she's got something.
Which isn't some weird looking leather jacket that was supposed to flow, but seemed a little unfinished to me. Then he trotted out his Working Girl--and by that, I mean, secretary, not actual working girl--dress, which just seemed too simple, even though the skirt had a nice cowl detail.
His LBD--Little Black Dress--was almost a throwaway--seriously, throw it away--with a weird boning detail at the hips that looked a little Oompa Loompa.
And everyone knows that ain't good.
Heidi, once again, was amazed at how much he can do, and how well he does it, but she really doesn't like any of his looks. There is no Wow factor at all. Nina loved the little orange details, but also feel it was missing some Oomph, and not like Oompha Loompha. Kors said Viktor is the most commerical, which is almost a dirty word in fashion, but, like Nina and Heidi before him, he wanted the volume turned up, and the secretary dress turned down, and out. Zoe liked the secretary dress, but also wanted a Bam Pow moment.
Viktor thinks he should show at Fashion Week because he's Viktor, and that Anya, who has a clear, fresh POV, and Josh, of whom he is afraid since they share a room, should also show.
Viktor claims Spot Two at next weeks Last Elimination, and a shot at The Tents.
He's still kvetching about Anya's win, and the $20,000 prize, because, he tells us, and will continue to tell us, she has yet to make a jacket, and she can't sew, and she's a beauty queen, and he went to school for this, and he sews impeccably and....well, then I stopped listening.
Josh, once again is inspired by hard and soft, and fragility and strength, as in cannons and churches, studs--of the metal variety--and stained glass. As the last to pick his Auf'd-istant, he gets Bryce, who trembles with fear over Josh's controlling ways.
He spends most of the show using Bryce as his sounding board, not his assistant, as he complains that Anya can't make a jacket, can't sew, is a beauty queen, and can't make a jacket. Did I mention that Josh doesn't think Anya can make a jacket?
One line he uttered that I liked was the "I'm capable of clean work" joke; right after, he decides to paint pieces of plastic for his dress, studs a tank top, drapes a model in shiny see-thru silver, and attached cargo netting to a cocktail dress.
Clean? Hardly. And apparently he agrees, because Josh scraps the plastic stained glass influence, though he does attach pieces of plastic to the jacket he made. And let's talk about the jacket. Josh mentioned once, or a thousand times, how Anya has never shown a jacket, therefore she has no range, and then he calls one of his looks a jacket. Um, josh, you delusional asshat? A jacket with no sleeves is really called a vest, unless it's an actual jacket to begin with and then you remove the sleeves,
YOU MADE A VEST!!!!!!!!!!
I'm better now.
His white dress, with the cargo netting on the back was simple, basic, boring; and the way it bunched at the sides when his model turned showed how ill-fitting it was; his "jacket" look seemed more Goth Patriotic Cheerleader to me, and made his model look oddly bulky.
Then he trotted out the Statue of Liberty gown, in see-thru-silver, with a black tank and short beneath. It was all odd, and boring and fugly.
Kors liked the diversity, but screamed the e-word again: EDIT!!! Zoe liked the white dress, but hated the S-of-L looking thing. Nina thought it would have been better had he lined the gown so it wasn't see-thru, while Heidi liked the gown but hated the fabric. Kors ended it all by calling Josh a magpie attracted to glitter and shine.
Josh thinks he should be at the tents, and says he can edit--which he's been saying all season and hasn't really proven it--and reminds us that he went to school for this and therefore should go. He also selects Viktor--shocking--and then, after ninety minutes of bashing, says Anya should show, too,
Josh is third picked for a shot at the tents.
She also liked the sculptures, though she was more fond of the title of one, called "New Beginnings". She said it was because this whole show, and each challenge was like a new beginning, but I think it's because she starts over so many times that she is nothing but a new beginning. She opts for Auf'ee Becky as her assistant, and Becky is thrilled because Kimberly is the only person left that she likes. Um, Becky, she picked you because you can sew.
Kimberly's palette is brightly colored orange wool, and some shiny silvery brocade; it's a daring choice, and could go hit or miss on the runway. I mean, orange? The only orange on the runway, other than Josh Crawford's last dress, is Michael Kors' tan, but I digress.
All we see of Kimberly this week is change, AKA The New Beginning.
An asymmetrical jacket loses it's asymmetry.
A pair of pants becomes a skirt.
A gown becomes a cocktail dress.
Becky becomes a whiny assistant because of all the New Beginnings.
Tim echoes my sentiment that the wool and the grayish fabric are an odd mix, and calls Kimberly's gown a Statue of Liberty looking mess--he apparently had yet to speak to Miss Crawford. But before you can say "Give me your tired, your poor...." the gown is Auf'd.
Her orange jacket and scarf combo are an odd choice. It looks a little too big, and the scarf, worn outside the jacket and thrown over a shoulder makes me think it's meant to hide some ghastly mistake. it doesn't help that her model looks so sad as she barely struts down the runway.
The separates skirt and blouse, in orange and silver, is very chic and urban, though the odd structure of the skirt seems strange, but the saving grace is her last look, a silver cocktail dress that, for me, was the Best In Show.
Zoe Saldana loved the coat and the dress, and thought Kimberly really brought the Wow to the catwalk. Kors loved the dress, but the orange paper-towel-looking, deflated souffle jacket was a misfire. Heidi sees three different girls in the collection: chic cocktail party girl, foreign exchange student from Holland--very specific Heidi, and Vegas party girl, while Nina also thought the dress was Best In Show--me and Nina, GMTA--but wished the skirt had been more plain and less bulky.
Kimberly thinks she'd bring a fresh mindset to the tents, and wants to go with Anya and Laura; girl power. Kimberly is given spot four at the last show.
What are we gonna do with Laura? last week's bird challenge she was called out for being too literal--too feathered--and this week she pulls that same old hat out of the bag. She was "inspired' by the circles she saw on Governor's Island, in the iron work, and the sculptures, and the windows, so she wants fabric with circles.
Literal meet Laura. Again.
She picks Anthony Ryan as her partner, and I was so hoping he'd talk her out of the lattice-circle-fabric she bought; it's just too much. But, alas, Laura was not to be deterred. And she was not to be deterred in designing for the judges--mostly for Nina--but doesn't seem to realize that if she designs for judging and not for herself, she won't ever see a tent outside a campground in Texas.
Tim agrees about the stencil fabric, calling it Too much? as in, too literal. He begs Laura to scale back, but I fear Laura might take that to mean she needs to add scales to her dress. And, after Tim leaves, she actually does wonder if there are too many circles, and runs around in them until she tosses one dress aside and whips up a literally last minute addition to her collection. She worries about the fit of her clothes, even as Tim calls time and herds them all to the runway. This cannot bode well.
The blazer, with the circle stencil over top, is kind of cute, because it's not too much, but the skirt looks flimsy. Then she trots out Little Miss Last minute, some kind of baby-doll negligee looking monstrosity, and I know that she is not gonna be a Tent Girl. Her gown, head-to-toe circle stencil, is stiff and unflattering.
But Heidi likes the gown--of course, Heidi liked the Christian Siriano she wore to the Emmys, too--but hates the skirt and Little Miss Last Minute. Nina liked the lattice fabric gown--Nina? Really?--but hates the other two looks, while Zoe likes the 80s vibe she's getting from the styling; still, she hates the skirt, and really hates Little Miss Last Minute. Kors liked the gown--OMG!--but hated the 'Mom' jacket and flimsy skirt, and the laundry bag looking Little Miss Last Minute.
Laura thinks she deserves a show because she's wanted it since she was eight years old--and after all those years, she gives me circles?--and thinks Viktor and Anya should also show.
Laura, unfortunately, was 66% right. Viktor and Anya were given one last chance while she was this weeks Auf'ee.
So, next week, we get to see their collections, and once again, perhaps, maybe, because they love a curveball, one designer may be sent home.
I don't think it'll be Anya unless she becomes a total screw-up.
I don't think it'll be Viktor unless he fails to bring a Wow.
I don't think it'll be Josh because everybody loves a dysfunctional circus.
Which means maybe Kim will not show at the tents.
A shame, because I've liked some of her stuff, and liked all of ehr stuff more than kiss Crawford, but sometimes drama and bitchiness prevails on "reality" TV.
Who do you think-hope-pray-wish will show at The Tents?