Jamie Hubley was just fifteen when he took his own life rather than live being continually harassed and bullied for being gay.
But Jamie, the son of Kanata South Councillor Allan Hubley and his wife, Wendy Barber, documented the last month of his life in a blog, writing clearly, painfully, openly of his struggles with depression and the challenges of being an openly gay teenager.
“I wish I could be happy, I try, I try, I try ... I just want to feel special to someone.”Jamie was special to a great many people but, sadly, that thought escaped him just long enough for him to decide to take his own life this past weekend.
The flag at Jamie's school, A.Y. Jackson Secondary School, was flying at half-staff Monday as friends and classmates remembered him.
“From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls.”Steph Wheeler, a close friend.Steph Wheeler knew Jamie as a sensitive young man, who struggled with being out in high school and was often the victim of verbal taunts and bullying. She said all that Jamie Hubley wanted was somebody to love: “I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was.”
That's really all any of us wants, but sometimes kids don't understand a boy wanting a boyfriend or a girl wanting a girlfriend, and they lash out, and say hurtful, and keep on saying them until young men like Jamie Hubley can no longer take it, and see suicide as their only option.
Jamie was a gifted actor and singer; he loved Lady Gaga, Adele and Katy Perry. He wrote on his blog that he was looking forward to taking dance classes this winter. But Jamie also wrote of things he didn't like; like being called a "fag" at school.
“I hate being the only open gay guy in my school ... It f---ing sucks, I really want to end it.”Last Friday, Jamie posted for the last time. He thanked his family and his friends, but wrote that he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore."What is wrong with us that we are letting this happen to our children? How do we just stand by and do nothing while kids are teased and taunted and harassed? Until they feel absolutely nothing and want that feeling of nothingness to be permanent?
I am so tired of writing about young people who aren't allowed to be themselves, to grow up and discover themselves. To live a nice long life as they want to live it; to love who they love.
I am so tired of suicides, and of people, politicians, teachers,m school administrators saying we need to do something about it, and then doing nothing until another young body is found hanging from a tree or shot through the head.
When is enough really enough?
Jamie Hubley ended his last blog post with a to Glee and a story about Kurt Hummel, a character who is also openly gay and highly talented.
“Remember me as a Unicorn.”via the Ottawa Citizen