Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Another One: Jamie Hubley

You know, with the news over the last couple of days, of both actor Zachary Quinto and ABC news reporter, Dan Kloeffler, coming out publicly as gay men, I began to think we're turning a tide here. But then we have this.....
Jamie Hubley was just fifteen when he took his own life rather than live being continually harassed and bullied for being gay.
But Jamie, the son of Kanata South Councillor Allan Hubley and his wife, Wendy Barber, documented the last month of his life in a blog, writing clearly, painfully, openly of his struggles with depression and the challenges of being an openly gay teenager.
“I wish I could be happy, I try, I try, I try ... I just want to feel special to someone.”
Jamie was special to a great many people but, sadly, that thought escaped him just long enough for him to decide to take his own life this past weekend. 
The flag at Jamie's school,  A.Y. Jackson Secondary School, was flying at half-staff Monday as friends and classmates remembered him.
“From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls.”Steph Wheeler, a close friend.
Steph Wheeler knew Jamie as a sensitive young man, who struggled with being out in high school and was often the victim of verbal taunts and bullying. She said all that Jamie Hubley wanted was somebody to love: “I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was.”
That's really all any of us wants, but sometimes kids don't understand a boy wanting a boyfriend or a girl wanting a girlfriend, and they lash out, and say hurtful, and keep on saying them until young men like Jamie Hubley can no longer take it, and see suicide as their only option.
Jamie was a gifted actor and singer; he loved Lady Gaga, Adele and Katy Perry. He wrote on his blog that he was looking forward to taking dance classes this winter. But Jamie also wrote of things he didn't like; like being called a "fag" at school.
“I hate being the only open gay guy in my school ... It f---ing sucks, I really want to end it.”
Last Friday, Jamie posted for the last time. He thanked his family and his friends, but wrote that he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore."
What is wrong with us that we are letting this happen to our children? How do we just stand by and do nothing while kids are teased and taunted and harassed? Until they feel absolutely nothing and want that feeling of nothingness to be permanent?
I am so tired of writing about young people who aren't allowed to be themselves, to grow up and discover themselves. To live a nice long life as they want to live it; to love who they love. 
I am so tired of suicides, and of people, politicians, teachers,m school administrators saying we need to do something about it, and then doing nothing until another young body is found hanging from a tree or shot through the head.
When is enough really enough?
Jamie Hubley ended his last blog post with a to Glee and a story about Kurt Hummel, a character who is also openly gay and highly talented.
“Remember me as a Unicorn.”
via the Ottawa Citizen


tamayn said...

I just don't know what to do in this case. It's hard, I know, and it sucks, but to throw your life away for the unwashed masses at your high school just isn't fair to yourself as all. It sounds bad to say it like this, but it's letting them win.

I wish I could have told him that there are other possibilities from high school. He could have gotten a GED, or done post secondary, or something like that. I just wish I could have talked to him.

Anonymous said...

I wrote about Jamie, too. We can't let these suicides become routine. We have to try harder to let these kids know that it DOES get better! http://wp.me/p1se8R-1CQ

Wonder Man said...

I wish there were people around him to keep him strong

David said...

While the message of the "It Gets Better" project is there, and The Trevor Project as well, some how it's not connecting. Too many parents are afraid to get to involved in their children's lives for fear alienating them. But a duty of a parent, first, is to get in these kids faces and find out what is going on. Its not to be their friend, and any parent that does that, is laying the groundwork for trouble down the road.

I'm filled with rage and disgust that these kids are taking their lives when they have so much to live for.

But we have to try and reach out to these students, these kids. They need mentors to show them that life will get better.

I'm guessing, in Jamie's view, the "It Gets Better" project was too far out of reach for him.

But we must, we must, find away to save them. Harvey Milk said it best: "We got to give them hope."

Anonymous said...

Honestly, today's society seems to produce nothing but "quitters" when it comes to these sort of conditions. Even though thousands of others are going through far worse, they still struggle on to the bitter end, no matter what.

I have no sympathies for these quitters of today. I faced my own struggles far worse, but I always kept a firm foot on the ground. If you can't, then good riddance as you more than likely wouldn't have been able to survive other hardships in life.

D Man said...

Dear Anonymous,
Go fuck yourself. Seriously, he's a 15 year old kid and you have the nerve to make comments like that? It's people like you who destroy our world. Don't ever show your face again.

Kyle said...

Bob, you honor Jamie and all the others we lost this month who died and received no attention at all.

As I said before this is an area the GLBTQ need to seriously address with much more time and money. Our advocacy and outreach are making a difference, but we could do much better.

Most of us spend so much of our life healing from the horrific mental and physical abuse of our youth, we want to forget what it was really like for us at their age. That is a huge liability and one reason why I think so many of our progeny suffer and finally take the most desperate solution.

we must remember, we must find them, and we must protect every young GLBTQ and allies. They deserve nothing less.

Anonymous said...

More needs to be done, I created a video about it. Thanks for speaking out too!!

Jaya said...

When I heard about Jamie Hubley on the news I almost started crying.
It is not right to be mean to a person if their are gay. It doesn't really matter if the person is gay or not, it is all about their personality. To me, he sounded like he was a very nice person. I feel very sad for him.
Jamie may your soul Rest In Peace.

Anonymous said...

It's easy to call people like Jamie quitters, but really, it takes a whole lot more courage to do what he did.
Despite what religion tells us of the implications of suicide on ones soul, here is a kid that has the balls to take on his creator and return his ticket, do you have that courage??
Can anyone alive understand the shear courage it must take to go through with suicide?
What do you call the ones that don't go through with suicide?

So, lecture us again on what a quitter is...please, did you even begin to think about what rubbish you typed? Simple little person with a simple little brain.