Move Along, Nothing New To See or Hear

Yup, you betcha! I could see Oprah from my house. Er, on the TV, I mean. And there she was, "interviewing" The Quitter in her own softball, look at me, style. See, it started off, as most Oprah interviews do, with a chat about a subject most dear to Oprah's heart: Oprah.

Her first question to Palin was whether no not Palin felt snubbed because she hadn't been invited on Oprah's show last year. See, we all know what a mighty snub it is when the Great and Powerful Oprah doesn't order you to Chicago to sit at her feet. So, that took up several valuable minutes, but then, the only thing bigger than Oprah's ass is her head.

But on to Sarah Palin, sitting down with The O to discuss the book she "wrote," Going Rogue. The first thing I found annoying here was that Palin hated the McCain camps terminology of her as 'going rogue' when she went off script, and yet she titles her book by that phrase. It's just one prime example of the duality of Sarah; the dichotomy of Sarah; the lies of Sarah.

The Quitter gripes a lot about "the handlers," those McCain aides whose job it was to keep her focused on winning the election rather than boosting her own public image; she didn't like that they told her what to wear--though she apparently kept all the clothes. She complained that they even told her what to eat, painting a picture of Steve Schmidt and the gang as those people out to control her. What the hell does she think she was doing? McCain had handlers; Obama has handlers. Every politician is surrounded by a coterie of handlers who very job it is to make sure they don't do or say the wrong thing, but The Quitter thinks she was treated differently.

One of the high points was when she talked about the vetting process, and how it lasted several hours. Hours; to select a Veep. I spend more time picking out socks to wear each day. And then, this woman who once considered abortion, who has a pregnant unwed teenage daughter at home while she spouts abstinence programs, believes that the most dirt they would find on her is a 'D' she got in college? No doubt in an Ethics course.

There is the world and there is Sarah's world and never shall they meet.

She blames losing the election on W, because no one wanted the status quo, and yet they campaigned long and hard about how McCain/Palin wasn't more of the same. She blames his handlers for not letting her speak her mind, but when she did--"real Americans" anyone--she clearly put both feet in her mouth.

She says she didn't want to play up Bristol's pregnancy, that she wanted to use it as a sort of teaching tool to help girls in similar situations, but McCain handlers painted Sarah and Todd as "giddy" with excitement over the prospect of becoming grandparents. Now, does it make sense that McCain, the conservative candidate, would want to play off a teen pregnancy as something fun? I don't think so.

And then she lays into Couric. She blames the handlers because she wasn't prepped enough. She blames Couric because she says Katie was biased. She blames the editing process because they whittled down hours of talk into a few minutes. She takes absolutely no responsibility for her failures and she thinks We The People would elect her? Think again, Quitter.

What I did love is her discussion of the "what do you read" question. She says she felt Katie was asking her if she read, yet Katie clearly asks, what newspapers do you read. Then Plain says she got annoyed and rolled her eyes and became defensive and yet, when you see the tape there is no eye roll, no annoyance, just a gosh golly darn it all poor answer to the simplest of questions.

But again, not her fault.

Still, she saves the most of her dual personality for Levi Johnston, the grandbaby daddy, or as she call the child, "that most beautiful baby," which is all right if you can't remember his name. She says she prays for Levi because he's the father of "that most beautiful baby" but then she calls him a porn star, Ricky Hollywood, out and about on his media tour. And she says this after repeatedly saying she doesn't want to comment on Levi. But then she name-calls and puts him down, her grandchild's father. She calls him part of the family but then constantly puts him down. If that's how she treats family..........

Of course, Bristol is fabulous. She's done all the right things, including banging her boyfriend with a condom, but she's fabulous. She's a great mother, she's in college, she wants all young girls to know the pitfalls of unprotected sex. Bristol good; Levi bad. But Sarah isn't to blame for being the abstinence candidate to everyone in Alaska but her own child.

Not. Her. Fault.

But she's done with Levi, after that awkward Oprah-forced invite to a holiday dinner. Palin says she and her family don't like drama, and yet she cannot shut her mouth. She invites drama, because she thinks any press is good press, even bad press. See, bad press she uses to paint herself as the victim of the liberal elite media. Good press--is there any--she uses to paint herself as the savior of real America.

She says she was hurt that the McCain handlers wouldn't let her speak on election night after McCain's concession speech. The handlers said the Veep candidate never speaks, but Palin says that isn't true, although she doesn't mention one single Vice Presidential candidate who gave a concession speech. It's history as Palin sees it; say what you want and offer no proof, then condemn those who might call you a liar.

When asked why she quit being governor, it all turns to those people Obama sent to Alaska to ruin her. She couldn't do anything without fear of an ethics charge. She was unable to work for Alaska, like she was elected to do, so she quits, and then blames her failure to complete her term in office on everybody else.

Not. Her. Fault.

She says she quit because she could better serve this country by not being governor, but what exactly has she down in that regard since quitting her job? Oh yeah, death panels. That was a big help, right? Lying in print about health care. Oh golly, she wants to help. But, again, she offers no clue as to how she might help.

It was Palin at Palin's finest. She says she's a hunter and she took aim at anyone and everyone, blaming all of them for her failures. Her failure to make her views clear; her failure to answer even a simple question; her failure at being a pro-abstinence mother; her failure at helping get McCain elected; her failure as governor; her failures at post-governor works to help this country and affect change.

Failure.

Of course, when all is said and done, Oprah ends the chat by turning the conversation back to her and asking The Quitter if she will do a talk show. This gives Plain a chance to gush at O, so all the O minions can scream and clap and drink the Kool-Aid. What an interview. Two women, neither of whom would know the real world if it bitchslapped them.

Of course, there will be those [me] who saw the interview as that of a complete asshat who wouldn't know the truth if it rode up to her on a moose, trying to portray herself as the future of all that's good and pure about Palin and the GOP. And there will be those who will be sucked in by non-answers and blame and the occasional wink, to see her as the next presidential. But when you really look at it, and think about what she said, then nothing Sarah Palin ever does wrong is her fault, and yet she cannot name one single thing she's done right.