Monday, November 30, 2009

Partial Rights Are Not All Rights


I just finished reading the most asinine article ever!

There seems to be a movement gaining ground that would like the LGBT community to stop asking for marriage equality and instead, settle for Civil Unions.

Seriously.

They say it's just a matter of semantics; civil union is just like marriage, but we wouldn't call it that. Civil union will guarantee you certain rights in certain states, but wouldn't grant you all the rights of marriage in all states around the country. It's Marriage Lite; it tastes great, but it is oh-so-less-filling.

Here's my take: they say marriage is just a word, and why should we be raising all the hubbub over a word? Well, f*g is just a word, too; as is c**t and n****r, but we don't bandy those about left and right. Words have meaning and power, and civil union has less meaning and power than marriage.

Picture two couple sitting in a restaurant, celebrating anniversaries. Dick and Jane order a lovely cake for their tenth wedding anniversary and the entire dining room ooohs and aaahs over the happy couple. Nearby, Fred and John are celebrating their tenth civil-union-ersary with a lovely cake. Is it the same?

That would be No. Fred and John, while celebrating their love, would also be celebrating the fact that they are different than Dick and Jane; that they are somehow less than Dick and Jane.

Now, picture this: kids on a playground in school. Bonnie is talking about her mommy and daddy and how they went to dinner to celebrate their tenth anniversary. All the kids go crazy because ten years is, like, forever. Little Andy says his two Dads just celebrated their tenth civil-union-ersary and all the kids laugh and tell him that it isn't the same thing. You know, kids can be cruel. Sometimes.

Civil unions are the scraps from the dinner table, and if we take the scraps, then we are saying outright that we only deserve scraps. If we take the scraps and eat quietly like good little LGBTs, and then suddenly say we wanna eat at the big people's table and have a plate with real food on it, well, who's to say we aren't going to be told that we asked for scraps [civil unions] and we got them, so we should just be grateful.

I don't want partial rights. I am not a partial person. Carlos and I aren't a less than couple. We don't pay part of our taxes. We follow all the rules of society and deserve all the rights and privileges that society offers everyone else.

Would Rosa Parks been okay with sitting in the middle of the bus?

I think not.

The asshat article, misguided though well-intentioned, is HERE.

8 comments:

Wonder Man said...

I'm looking into the process of civil unions, apparently there are different forms and types. It differs from state to state

Joy said...

Bravo!! Excellent points - especially about being partial persons.

Kevin said...

I also loved the partial person comments.

We all need to keep fighting. Even as a Canadian, I'm always living in fear that our PM will yank it away from us.

On the campaign trail all those years ago, he said he'd challenge gay "marriage." That was years ago and while it would be the final nail in his coffin, I still wonder when he's going to pull that out.

oldmidhurstian said...

Well said. Love the partial person comment.

Kyle said...

I. Want. Marriage. End of story. Separate, but equal, still means not equal. We can't let our opponents convince us to take less than what we are all worth. It may take us longer to get what we want, but in the end we will have what we deserve, which is being viewed as fully equal under the law.

Biki said...

I honestly for the life of me can't understand what the heartburn is about allowing gay marriage. So, if Bill and Betty down the street get a divorce does that impact your marriage also? What is really behind their denying at last estimate 31 million gay people their civil rights? No, not the shit they spout, but the deep dark of the night reasonings.

To me it is a violation of civil rights. Either everyone may enjoy marriage, not civil unions, but marriage, or none of us do. Equality is supposed to be the cornerstone of our country. But, I guess it is a pick and choose version of equality.

The only other thing that makes me as mad, is the DADT, and the states that don't allow gay couples to adopt. There is only one other group in this country that gets less respect and equality than do LGBTQ. I hear you thinking out there, the answer? Children.

No civil unions! Marriage yes!

Mark in DE said...

I have had the same arguement with some of my older (retired) gay friends who say they 'just want the rights' and 'couldn't care less about the marriage certificate'. Next time we get into that discussion I will quote you: "Would Rosa Parks been okay with sitting in the middle of the bus?"

The Daze of Whine and Roses said...

Brilliantly written and I love the comments left.
"Would Rosa Parks have been ok sitting in the middle of the bus?" THAT should be a bumper sticker!