It's Monday and I'm ...

Rumor has it the Republican asshat and self-loathing trans woman Caitlyn Jenner is writing a tell-all book to punish the Kardastrophe Klan for being mean to her as she transitioned. Jenner now claims she no longer speaks to ex-wife Kris Jenner and is no longer "close" to the reality TV family. An insider claims even Kendall and Kylie have "turned their backs" on Caitlyn:

"Caitlyn figures she has nothing to lose, so she's going to write the whole truth and make them sorry for shunning her."

So she’s gonna trash her ex-wife, her step-children, and her children because they didn’t help her launch her own reality show? Is she also gonna talk about how she thinks transwomen should not be allowed to participate in sports … unless it’s golf, which is Caitlyn’s favorite sport?

Nah, she’ll leave the hypocrisy out.

This has ick written all over it.

Y’all remember when Good Morning America news anchors TJ Holmes and Amy Robach got busted for cheating on their spouses and were fired from ABC? Yeah, well TJ and Amy are apparently still going strong so what’s the ick, you say?

That would be the news that TJ’s ex-wife, Marilee Fiebig, and Amy’s ex-husband, Andrew Shue, are now dating.

Ick.

Thirsty ex-actress Jada Pinkett Smith now says said Will Smith’s infamous 2022 Oscars slap saved their marriage after they had been separated and living apart for seven years:

“After all those years trying to figure out if I would leave Will’s side, it took that slap for me to see I will never leave him.”

Huh? What? All it takes to keep Jada by your side if for you to bitch-slap an Oscar host over a dumb joke? Is that her idea of love? Of that marriage saving slap Jada says:

“I call it the ‘holy slap’ now because so many positive things came after it.”

Her husband’s career crashed and burned, the academy shunned him Chris Rock turned him and Jada into punchlines … help me see the positive here.

Oh, Jada gets more attention.

And what does Will get? Well, from the looks of Mr. Smith in Miami without his wife, he gets  a new girlfriend.

Little Willie—his nickname from the guy who claims he walked in on Will on the receiving end of some anal sex with Duane Martin—was seen leaving Miami’s Art Basel with a woman who looks a little like Jada Pinkett Smith.

Maybe Will just wants a Jada who doesn’t use him to feed her ego, and her little Facebook talk show?