Friday, December 08, 2023

I Didn't Say it ...

Mike Johnson, Christian Nationalist Speaker of the House, saying God chose him as Speaker:

“I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here. Thank you for not allowing the media in. Look, I’m a Southern Baptist, I don’t wanna get too spooky on you, But, you know, the Lord speaks to your heart. The Lord began to wake me up, through this three-week process, in the middle of night to speak to me. The Lord impressed upon my heart a few weeks before this happened that something was going to occur. And the Lord very specifically told me in my prayers to prepare, but to wait. At the time, I assumed the Lord was going to choose a new Moses and thank you, Lord, you’re going to allow me to be Aaron to Moses. I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large. God had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready. Ultimately 13 people ran for the post. And the Lord kept telling me to, ‘Wait, wait, wait.’ So I waited, I waited. And then at the end the Lord said, ‘Now step forward.’ Me? I’m supposed to be Aaron. ‘No,’ the Lord said, ‘Step forward.’”

Funny how Mike only like to speak his truth when media isn’t around, so I will say this one thing …

What a fucking loon.

… and leave it there.

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Jim Carrey, on treating the unhoused with a little respect:

“Imagine struggling with being homeless and someone comes with a camera in your face to give you a meal and you have to take it. Imagine that feeling. Please stop doing that. If you go to help someone, do it with kindness and not your ego.”

If you want to do a good deed, feeding the hungry, helping the unhouse, whatever it might be, do it because it’s the right thing to do and don’t use it as a boost to your own fragile ego on social media.

Good people don’t take photos of themselves doing good deeds, they just do the deed.

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Jamie Raskin, Maryland Democrat Representative, railing at the GOP for their hypocrisy on Hunter Biden:

“Let me get this straight. After  wailing and moaning for ten months about Hunter Biden and alluding to some vast  unproven family conspiracy, after sending Hunter Biden a subpoena to appear and testify, Chairman Comer and the Oversight Republicans now reject his offer to appear before the full committee and the eyes of the world to answer any questions that they pose? What an epic humiliation.”

They have nothing because, again, if they did, they’d be shouting it from the rooftops and showing the proof everywhere.

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Nate White, an articulate and witty writer wrote the following response for the London Daily to the question ‘Why do some British people not like [Thing 45]?’:

“A few things spring to mind. [Thing 45] lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw [Thing 45] ’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.
Plus, we like a laugh. And while [Thing 45]  may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with [Thing 45] , it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

[Thing 45]  is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a sniveling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a [Thing 45] .

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, [Thing 45]  would be the boxed set.”

There is talk that this was written while the Inmate was running the country, but it matters not because it’s as relevant today as it was yesterday and as much as it will be for the rest of this traitorous asshat’s miserable lying hate-filled life.

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43 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:14 AM

    I think Canadians feel the same as the British about the orange twit

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    Replies
    1. I wish more Americans did but they're still in the cult.

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  2. "A Shakespeare of shit," says it all! And Johnson is a johnson, small and insignificant, who will never be able to stand tall, to erect himself, to create even the tiniest amount of significance.

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    1. I'm hoping Christian Nationalist Mike gets voted from power soon.

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  3. That Johnson chappie is more crackers than every Xmas had put together. Are we seriously expected to think "Wow! God actually SPOKE to him!" And to think that were some unforeseen event to occur (getting less unlikely with every day!) he'd be next in line (or be presumptive 'heir' ) to being the next POTUS, despite, of course, being unelected! Cheeses! His 'god' must be off her rocker as well as him.

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    Replies
    1. God always tells those he talks to exactly what they want to hear. I bet a female god would not have responded the way yet another loony Johnson would have wanted.

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    2. All the people in the country and he thinks god picked him???
      Loon.

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  4. So Mike Johnson thinks he's Moses, huh? Oooooo, there's someone just begging for a downfall.

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    Replies
    1. And I have the popcorn ready for that moment!

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  5. Our ex-Home Secretary says that being homeless is "a lifestyle choice" and she wanted the police to take tents away from those homeless lucky enough to have them. Evil is everywhere

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    Replies
    1. People like that truly disgust me.

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  6. Anonymous11:04 AM

    🤔 I'm no scholar of xtian fairy tales, but didn't Moses lead his people to the mountaintop, present them with the commandment tablets, and then destroy those tablets when his people lost faith and reveled in sin making graven images to false gods? And, doesn't Johnson elevate those same sinners among his people and their worship of the gravenest image (#P01135809) ever known? What's the opposite of Moses?

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  7. Anonymous11:07 AM

    the dog's mother
    omg! much chortling at
    "Shakespeare of shit"
    xoxo :-)

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    Replies
    1. That Nate is a genius with words!

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  8. Mike Johnson was a backbench nobody until he was plucked from obscurity by the ineptitude of the Repugs. And as a good xtianist, he's horny for power. You just know he had a boner when he said that.
    Jim Carrey? I can only take him in small doses, but DAMN! That's some truth bomb right there.
    As for Jabba the Orange? Here: "His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness." Yes.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mike's day will come.
      I am living for Nate, and I agree about Carrey!
      xoxo

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  9. Mike Johnson is living in la la land. If he believes that he really is gullible.

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  10. Anonymous12:38 PM

    Nate nailed it! And if Mike thinks he’s Moses, he should know he’s in his “wandering in the wilderness for forty years” phase.

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  11. Mike Johnson is a pompous self-serving ass. Jim Carrey is a breath of fresh air in the world of entertainment. The GOP is god-awful.
    And Nate White said everything I've ever thought about IQ45 but better. Shakespeare of shit is my new favorite!

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    Replies
    1. Nate nailed it! I love a good read/rant like that!

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  12. Nate White is a brilliant. I wonder how long before Mike Johnson is out. I hope quickly. Jim Carrey has just risen in my esteem: ”Good people don’t take photos of themselves doing good deeds, they just do the deed.” Mike drop!

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    1. I think Mike's term as Speaker will be over next year.
      We should all learn to be kind when there isn't a camera in your hand.

      Delete
  13. Cleora Borealis2:23 PM

    Oops! I don't know how I screwed up and let my "what's the opposite of Moses?" comment above show up as Anonymous! You know me, I crave the limelight of this blog and when, and if, Bob comments back, I want him to know that it's me he's talkin' 'bout!!

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  14. It's amazing that dishonest schizophrenia is not a deal-breaker for politicians

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    Replies
    1. In the GOP it's considered an attribute.

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  15. Nate White was quite spot on. The puzzle remains though. Why did so many otherwise probably quite decent people, vote for #45 a second time?

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    Replies
    1. Racism, ignorance and lies fed their own bigotry and biases.

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  16. As a British person, I can confirm that all thinking British people will happily endorse every word that Nate White had to say about that draft-dodging "drill-drill-drill" ex-President. I doubt that any of his supporters ever come to "I Should Be Laughing" but if one or two turn up here, I need to ask - How on earth can you think about voting for such a dangerous moron again? He encouraged the attack on The Capitol Building and blatantly lied about the result of the last presidential election. He is not fit to be a president.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, Yorkshire, those people have been indoctrinated into the MAGA cult and will never believe a bad word about Thing 45.

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  17. Anonymous10:02 PM

    May I offer "IQ45" in place of "thing45"?

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    Replies
    1. It's nice, but I'll stick with Thing 45, thanks.

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  18. Psst. Mike Johnson is TERRIFYING. Why don't we have competency tests for seated legislators? Seriously? This is unhinged. The man is bat shit cray cray and needs to remain in the general population where the worst thing he can do is by an AK-47 and shoot up a gay bar. What the hell is wrong with this f'ing country? When did we lose our way to the point that some whack job who thinks he's the second coming of Moses is running a branch of our sh*tty goverment? If we ever needed a blue wave, it is now... to shut the red sea before Mr. Johnson and his sh*t for brain followers make it through to the other side. Rapture? Where are you? P.S. Jim Carrey? Spot on. Kizzes.

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    Replies
    1. Mike Johnson is truly scary, and truly stupid, and truly delusional.
      xoxo

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  19. I know many Australians would agree with every word of that, but sadly I also know a few who thought thing45 was a great man.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I guess even Australia has its Cult of MAGA crowd.

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  20. Well said Jim Carrey! I believe he lived in his car for a while didn't he!

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    Replies
    1. I think I read that somewhere, too.

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  21. A perfect description of he who must not be named.

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    Replies
    1. Nate gave us lots to choose from!

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Say anything, but keep it civil .......