It's Snarkurday!

As soon as she breaks up a marriage—including her own—Miranda Lambert moves on to the next target.

Last February, Miranda Lambert met Evan Felker, the lead singer of the Turnpike Troubadours. Felker was married to Staci Felker at the time but within days of meeting Miranda, he ghosted his wife, filed for divorce and began dating Miranda officially.

Last week Staci and Evan’s divorce was finalized and this week Miranda is officially done with Evan. Felker’s band, the Turnpike Troubadours, have dropped out of their final performances of Lambert’s The Bandwagon Tour while she revealed she is “happily single” in a recent interview.

“Love is a hard road sometimes and it’s been a roller-coaster ride for me, but I’m definitely thankful for all the ups and downs because I’ve had some really good songs come out of it. You’ve got to take the bad parts and put them on paper and then move on to the happy parts.”

Apparently, she only dates married men while they’re married so she can get some good songs out of it.

Who does she think she is, Taylor Swift?

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Only in Hollywood … TMZ has apparently scooped everyone from Megyn to Barbara to Diane and has scored an interview with Brandon Johnson who claims he was Demi Lovato’s drug dealer.

Seriously; a drug dealer who sells illegal drugs and tells:

“It was a flirty friendship but nothing more, it kind of grew into a … sexual friendship … She texted me at 4 o’clock in the morning, um, because she’s a girl and she wanted to kick it, I mean why else does any other girl text another guy at 4 o’clock in the morning to come over?”

Um, because you’re a drug dealer and she wanted to score? Ass.

I bet everyone in the trailer park back in your hometown of Cousinfucker, Oklahoma, was tickled pink when your mug appeared on TV:

“Look, errybody, Brandon’s on the TV dealin’ drugs! Swimmin’ pools and movie stars … “

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Well, Mel B has finally concluded her messy divorce from Stephen Belafonte and, as anyone might do, is off on vacation to get away from it all.

Oh? Not vacation, you say, but rehab? Uh huh.

B says she’s entering a therapy-based rehab center in the UK to deal with alcohol issues and sex addiction and says she’ll be out in just a couple of weeks because her problems are with booze and sex but are part of a much larger issue that she calls PTSD:

“I have recently been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I don’t want to jinx it, but so far it’s really helping me. I am still struggling but if I can shine a light on the issue of pain, PTSD and the things men and women do to mask it, I will do. I am speaking about this because this is a huge issue for so many people.”

During the divorce, Stephen accused her of regularly having threesomes and having alcohol and cocaine addictions; she says there were no threesomes but says Stephen kept her drugged during their marriage.

Uh huh. Along with PTSD, Mel says she’s also dealing with being “financially battered” at paying child and spousal support to her ex-husband.

So, let’s break it down: during the divorce her husband claims she was into group sex, booze and drugs, and then she says she’s going to rehab for booze and sex, but says her rehab has nothing to do with booze and sex.

Oh, Mel, the first step is admitting you have a problem …

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It looks like Charlie Sheen has not only found a way to pay his child and spousal support, but he appears to have set his return to television … on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

No, not as a housewife, but as the unemployed actor-addict ex-husband of Denise Richards who is joing the cats of the Bravo show. Sheen told paparazzi:

“It’s not been confirmed [but] if they’re rolling and I pull up to drop off one of the girls, then I’ll be on it.”

Bravo has no comment because they threw up in their mouths a little.

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Heather Locklear’s Year of Discontent is not yet winding down.

After months of arrests and stints in rehab and threats to police officer, Locklear has been charged with one misdemeanor count of interfering with a law enforcement officer and two counts of misdemeanor battery for ALLEGEDLY attacking a police officer and an EMT.

Locklear was arrested last February for felony domestic violence and battery on a police officer who responded to calls about Locklear attacking her boyfriend at her home; she was charged with five criminal counts in that case, but was not charged with hitting her boyfriend despite being arrested for the offense.

In June, Locklear was hospitalized and placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold after she ALLEGEDLY choked her father and struck her mother.

Locklear has had issues with substance abuse in the past and most recently entered rehab last year. She was arrested previously in 2008 on suspicion of driving under the influence.

Hopefully, rather than giving her a slap on the wrist, she’ll face some kind of jail time and get her act together.

William Shatner and Joan Collins are not happy with their TV daughter these days.

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