Thursday, November 26, 2015

Give. Thanks.

I first posted this back in Ott-Eight, a few days after I started this here blog thing, and have edited it, as need be, and reposted it, to kind of remind me of where I was then, what I thought then, and what I wanted out of life.

And I realized that the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now, not to brag, but I've been told that I am an extremely polite person. I was raised on Please and Thank You, Yes Ma'am, No Sir, and I still act that way today.

True story: I was selected for jury duty back when we lived in Miami and when they were questioning us in the courtroom, and it was my turn to stand, well, it was a narrow aisle, so I put my hands behind my back. And as the judge and the lawyers began to ask their questions, I answered Yes sir and No Sir.

The judge stopped for a second and smiled. "Are you in the military?" he asked.

"No, sir" I said. "I was raised by a military man and a Southern woman."

True story: A few years before that, while living in California, I was in a grocery store buying a birthday cake for a co-worker. I asked if I may please order a cake. May I please have a name iced onto it? I pleased and thank you'd my way through the ordering process and finally the girl left to go in the back and finish my order. But, just before disappearing into that back room, she turned and said to me, "I think you are the most polite person I've ever waited on."

I smiled and said, "Could you just shut up, please, and ice my damn cake!"

When all else fails slip into sarcasm. That's my motto. But I digress.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, probably because there are no gifts involved, except for the gift of time; time spent with loved ones and friends; the gift of thanks. This is a day of thanks for Americans; a truly American holiday, like 4th of July, but one we celebrate not with picnics and beer, firecrackers and sparklers, but with a meal we share with loved ones, friends and family.

I have so much to be thankful for this year.

Yes, the usual family and friends and health and happiness, blah blah blah, everyone says that. But I am also thankful that we are an America that has changed, that has become a little more free and a little more equal for the LGBTQ community; the march does still go on, but steps have been made, battles have been won …

Fifteen years ago, when we met and began this ride, Carlos and I couldn’t be legally married anywhere in this country, and here we are now, married for a year, legally, in South Carolina and every single other state in this country.

How I wished for that, though there were times I never saw it coming.

I am thankful for that.

I am thankful for the years I had with my sister — and missing her every single day — because of the things she taught me, and continues to teach me. I am thankful that I could see her, and feel her, alongside my Mom as Carlos and I stood in a courtroom and said, “I do.” I could feel all that love, and for that I am always thankful.

I am grateful to her four daughters, all of whom she raised so well that when Carlos and I told them we were getting married, they all responded, “Now he really is our Uncle.”

I am thankful for my Dad. He didn’t ask for a gay son, but he got one; he didn’t know what to do with a gay son, but he did the best he could. And, when the time came to marry Carlos, and we decided to go west to Washington to do it, it made my Dad’s day. I think he was more excited than we were, more proud that we were doing it. I wish every gay person could have a Dad like mine, who sees that change is good, and sees that not everyone is alike — even in your own family — but who loves you all just the same.

I am thankful for cold mornings and blue skies … colored leaves falling. I am thankful for small dogs and cats because, well, I'm bigger than them and I will always beat them. Just channeling Joan Crawford and Christina at the pool.

I am thankful for......Carlos. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have him; even the days when he makes me insane … more insane? I realize I’d rather be driven nuts by him than not to have him at all. I am thankful for the smirk he gives me; I am thankful for the look of horror on his face when I bust out in a showtune; I am just plain thankful. I don’t know where I’d be, or who I’d be, if I hadn’t met him all those years ago.

I am thankful to my Mom, especially today. Thanksgiving was always her holiday; cooking for her family was my mother’s greatest joy and a great gift to all of us. I am thankful that I can keep that tradition alive, and can see my Mom in that.

I am thankful for music and pets and soft blankets and breathing and speaking, and having a voice to use and use often. I realize we are at a tough time in this country, where fear is being used to urge hate towards refugees fleeing their homeland for their lives … fear of our transgender brothers and sisters … fear of immigrants … in a land filled with immigrants.

But I am hopeful, and thankful, that this is not the case with everyone, and that not everyone falls into fear; some stand against it, and speak against it, and fight against it.

I am thankful for that … and thinking being feeling loving breathing laughing crying living and speaking.

For Life … and all it encompasses.

To Life.



anne marie in philly said...

HAPPY TD to you and carlos and the furkids! love ya lots!

Susan said...

I beautiful blog piece for any year. Happy Thanksgiving to you, Carlos, and the kids. :)

Jennifer said...

Beautiful post! Happy Thanksgiving to you, your husband, and the rest of your family!

mistress maddie said...

I always liked this post....Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday too. And I send wishes to you and Carlos!!! Xoxo

Sadie J said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, also!

the dogs' mother said...

xoxoxox and an extra xo for Carlos (actually all xo-s should be Carlos bound :-)
I am thankful for you and your blog. Your pr recaps are always a highlight, i hear about
political and lbgt stuff that does not make the general news. and houses. am i missing anything - oh, celebrities and l.lohan! have a warm and cozy day :-)

BloggerJoe said...

We're thankful for the friendship you and Carlos have extended to us.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Most of us in the west have much that we can be thankful for, but too often all we do is moan. We are very lucky to live in countries free of war and all that entails. For us here in the UK we are lucky to live in a country mostly free of natural disasters and extreme weather; in the main we don't suffer hunger, we know where our next meal is coming from, even if it is coming from the nearest Chinese you I am very thankful

Debbie said...

That was beautiful Bob.