Well over a week ago, Bart the Cat was out walking in his neighborhood as he usually does, when he was hit by a car. A passerby declared Bart dead at the scene, though there is no information regarding the passerby, either name or profession.
Bart was taken home, where Ellis Hutson, the man he owned — because, let’s face it, cats own people — was so upset about Bart’s passing that he could not bring himself to plan a funeral, or perform the actual burial, so he asked a neighbor to dig a grave in his backyard, and then Ellis watched as the man placed Bart into the ground; ashes to ashes.
Five days later … five.days.later. .... Bart rose from the dead and dug himself out of that grave.
Oh, but he did. Ellis’ neighbor found Bart pawing around her yard and meowing for food. Bart was taken to the Tampa Bay Humane Society where vets discovered that he had a broken jaw, a busted head and had lost sight in one eye.
The vets told Ellis that the car accident knocked him out, but did not kill him, and that when Bart came to a few days later, and found himself thankfully not six-feet under, he clawed his way out of the grave and back to, at least, his Second of Nine Lives.
Ellis can’t afford to pay the $2,000 vet bill, but don’t worry; no one is going to try and take Bart down again. The Humane Society will cover the bill for Ellis and says that in six weeks Bart will be as good as new.
In related news, Dusty Albritton, the driver of the car who hit Bart and “killed” him, best be on the lookout for a mangy black-and-white cat because …
… Pet Sematary is real, y’all.