Friday, November 15, 2013

PR All-St★rs 3, Ep 4: Back To School

And we knew it was coming, it happens every season, that most favorite challenge of all: The Unconventional Challenge; making something, as Alyssa Milano said, high-impact for the runway.

So, what’ll be this time? Well, the designtestants pile into a big yellow school bus so I first thought they’d be rippin’ it to shreds and we’d get Bus Seat Couture, but, No. They head off to PS 212, to the art class where they can steal whatever they want from the classroom and then go ADD on a look. The designers are given four minutes to grab everything they need and want, or think they need and want, and then off to sketch and back to the workroom.

‘So, let’s rip … or grade ….

THE SAFES
IRINA—Construction paper, paper clips and pencils cases
It was very princess, very secret garden and very unclear why this didn’t go Top Three; high impact? Yes. Well executed? Yes. Fashion? Yes.
SETH AARON—Plastic folders, rulers, kickball
Avant-garde in a futuristic-flapper-slash-kickballer kind of way; it was more sports outfit for the New Age sportswear than fashion.

THE TOP THREE
ELENA—Rulers, binders, protractors

WHAT ELENA SAID 
I am in love with it. I love the shape. I love the proportion and it’s still playful.

WHAT I SAID
It’s another color-blocked dress, though not made from neoprene this time. But it looks like everything else she does, though this time the color-blocking makes it look like a human body art project. I see boobie and I see a large intestine and, while I don’t see a stomach, I get kind of a lap-band vibe around the middle.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 
Isaac said it was fabulous, then veered off even further into What Happened To Isaac Land when he called the bust a “mansard roof goes safari pocket.” How can that be good? Guest judge, and cute gay boy, Michael Urie, loved the pointy boobies and called it Rosie the maid from The Jetsons. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ wonders why Elena says she’s so avant-garde and couture but never, EVER, shows it. Alyssa agreed, calling Elena a one-trick pony — then why is she Top Three? — and guest judge Gabourey Sidibe also loved the pointed breastages.

WHAT HAPPENED
She’s safe, but I wonder how much longer she’ll stay safe sending the same damn thing down the runway each week.

VIKTOR—Rubber bands, rulers, thumbtacks, play mats and construction paper

WHAT VIKTOR SAID 
I am very happy about my look. I cannot believe I did all that work in such a short time.

WHAT I SAID 
I thought that while it was unique with the “ruler feathers” that it was too safe. It was a pretty dress, but not much more. Oh, and those weird mats on the front? No.

‘WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 
Michael Urie called it “timeless” and cool, while Isaac loved the back more than the front — he also hated the play mat emblems. Gabourey said she judges clothes on whether or not Beyoncé would wear them and she wouldn’t be mad at Beyoncé for wearing this. That’s kind of a half-compliment, I think.  Alyssa said it was great work, and The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it light and beautiful.

WHAT HAPPENED
Viktor goes Second Place.

CHRISTOPHER—Binders, toy magnets and scissors

WHAT CHRISTOPHER SAID 
She looks fantastic. No one’s beating me in this challenge, my statement is too important and my structure is too awesome

WHAT I SAID 
He kept talking about the bullying, and the darkness that it brings — which is the black part of the dress — but said he wanted to do a bit of the rainbow at the top as a symbol of him coming through that. All I got was teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Does Drag.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it fabulous and, while she didn’t notice the scissors at first she thought they were well-done, though maybe a bit too much. Isaac wasn’t happy with the bullying story, feeling that it was a manipulative ploy to get the win; who would vote against a dress that was an anti-bullying statement? Gabourey got a Sydney Opera House vibe, while Michael Urie — who is just adorable — called it Hot Girl Darth Vader. Alyssa Milano said she was gaga — see what she did there? — over the magnet neck-piece and purse, but felt it didn’t showcase Christopher’s personality — which is bland. Oops. Did I say that out loud?

WHAT HAPPENED
Christopher’s manipulation worked and he scores a win.

THE BOTTOM THREE
KORTO—Rubber bands, bean bags, rulers and rubber balls

WHAT KORTO SAID 
I used really unconventional materials to make something beautiful. If I had more time it would have been amazing … Oh god, don’t judge me

WHAT I SAID 
It looks like something out a bad high school production of a musical version of The Last of the Mohicans

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac doesn’t like the proportions and says the clips look a little too punk and the punk challenge was weeks ago. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ has the model turn around and then just says, “Yeah, you know.” She also thought Korto had gone off on a bad tangent Gabourey loved the clips because her red carpet looks have a tendency to fall apart though she loved it from the neck to the shoulders. Michael loved the color and Alyssa, who thought all of it was bad, loved the neck-piece.

WHAT HAPPENED
Korto is safe.

MYCHAEL—Construction paper, jump ropes and crayons

WHAT MYCHAEL SAID 
I’m looking at my construction paper dress peel apart on the runway … my sh*t is bad

WHAT I SAID 
D-I-saster. Hot mess. WTF.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 
Alyssa said it looked like an arts-and-crafts project and made her want to cry while Gabourey hated that it was falling apart but loved the corset. Isaac said it might be a big fail, but he loved the colors, and if you squinted, it looked good; like if you squinted, Isaac would look like Robert Downey Jr. No.  When the other judges wonder What Happened To Isaac he stands by his squint and says he wishes he could “unsee” Korto and Jeffrey’s looks.

WHAT HAPPENED
Mychael is safe

JEFFREY—Play mats, folders, jumped ropes, and binders

WHAT JEFFREY SAID 
I love the way this looks and it looks exactly the way I wanted it to.

WHAT I SAID 
Judy Jetson cheerleader with dartboards on the side, and visible ladybits — thank god for the blurred lines Lifetime.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 
Isaac said it looks too playground, and called it a gag — not to be confused with a Gaga — dress. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said that even though she knew Jeffrey wasn’t trying to make a wearable dress — because he rarely does — she’s distressed that one can see, as peach would say, “the fine china.” She also said it’s hard to judge a dress when all she sees is butt and bits. Michael said it doesn’t fit, and Jeffrey says he was making an "anime girl in a sundress mid-twirl." Michael wins by saying he created a flash, not a dress.

WHAT HAPPENED
Jeffrey is safe.

MY TAKE
WTF? Why no Aufee? I mean, Alyssa said it was because they couldn’t decide but I decided: Jeffrey’s been Bottom Three for weeks now creating unwearable ridiculous stuff and yet he’s still there? Send.Him.Home.

And, in another WTF moment. WTF is up with Seth Aaron’s hair. I like the slicked back Mohawk, but when he combs it down one side and slip sit under his glasses? Oh.Hell.No.

I loved that Viktor made a play mat bow-tie for himself; and I want one!

Christopher thinking he won because of his “important message.” He won because last week they gave it to Viktor and they want to spread it around.

Elena got the cry edit — as she does every week. One minute she is the most confident person and the next she’s completely come apart at the seams.

And Elena is pissed that Viktor used her ruler idea but she didn’t use it so why the big deal? Maybe if she had she’d have done something out of the box and couture?

And while I love Gabourey Sidibe and adore the adorable Michael Urie I don’t get why they are judging fashion? Is there no one left in fashion to judge All Stars?


What did YOU think?

4 comments:

The Huntress said...

Last night proved my theory right. The judges have a favorite, and her name is Elena. Now the only thing we need to make that conspiracy come true is the crying edit in which she sacrificed everything to get to that point.

What BS. Irina deserved top TWO for that design.

the dogs' mother said...

Is was almost like Irina was hardly there this week. Agree she should have been at the top.
ak - I'm queasy after you pointed out what you saw on Elena's dress. lol!
Viktor should have used all ruler feathers.
Jeffrey, for horrifying the model's mother, should have been aufed. I still can't get over the hooded lamp shade.
All I can think is that the guest judges have something coming up on the Lifetime network or one of their other channels/business interests.

SEAN (The Jeep Guy) said...

Thanks for calling out Seth on the hair!

Heidi would have kicked Jeffery's ass out the door for doing that the to model! How the hell did they decide to keep him?

The did even mention that Gabby is on American Horror Story! LOVE HER! and not just on that show.

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Nothing chaps my ass more than when they change the rules for no apparent reason. Someone was supposed to go home.

Let's face it ... the "all stars" edition of PR is really a cheap knock-off of the real Heidi/Tim version and clearly gets a smaller budget (and "lesser" guest judges), but I can't imagine why they didn't send someone home this week. This challenge was very difficult to watch.