Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Nick Comes Out, Gets Kicked Out, And Then Guess What Happened?

It’s long been said that members of the LGBT community often create new families for themselves out of friends and lovers that they meet along the way. We do this because, sometimes, our own families want nothing to do with us when we come out to them. I was one of the lucky ones for my family was mostly, Um, okay? So what? 

Carlos, on the other hand wasn’t so lucky. His mother accepts him as a gay man, and accepts me as his partner, but his father wants nothing to do with him; or me. So Carlos made a new family out of friends he made when he moved to Miami and friends we both made when we moved to Smallville. And he stills gets choked up that my sister calls him ‘brother’ and my father calls him ‘son,’ and all my nieces call him Uncle Carlos.

So, as LGBT men and women, we make do, and we build new families to take the place of our birth families that no longer want us when we come out.

That’s the case with Nick. Nick is an 18 year old young man, a freshman at Kennesaw State University, and he lives in Marietta, Georgia. Last month someone he knew told Nick’s parents that he is bisexual and they weren’t having it. They kicked him out of the house; while he was at work, they took the car that was in their name, even though he made the payments on it; they took all of his belongings from their house and threw them on the front lawn.

Bad? Not even bad enough. They then used the fact that his bank accounts were "custodial accounts" and they emptied his bank accounts into theirs; taking all the money he’d saved over the last three years working as a bagger at Publix.

Lovely parents; role models, really.

But Nick didn’t give up, and people who knew him didn’t give up either. The mother-in-law of Steve Bevers, one of his co-workers, took Nick into her home instantly, and set up a crowdfunding page on GoFundMe to help him on with his life.
"When I heard about what happened to Nick I was flabbergasted. I couldn't understand how a parent could do that. While I'm sure there are multiple sides to the story, I just was amazed. I was hurt. The first thing I asked was, 'Does he need a place to stay? Does he need some money?'"—Steve Bevers
So Steve Bevers set up the GoFundMe page for Nick [HERE] on October 22nd, to help him pay for school, maybe get another car, and finance a place of his own when he’s able. In just a couple of weeks the site has raised $26,000 — as of this morning — for Nick.

Complete strangers, who don’t know Nick, might never know Nick, have stepped up to help him when his own parents told him to get out of their house.

Last week, Nick uploaded a video to the site to thank his supporters and tell his story:
"This whole thing started when my stepmom caught wind of me being bisexual. I don't know where she got her information from, but I know it wasn't from me. She didn't like that and neither did my dad. I got told some very vulgar and disgusting things... That's why I didn't tell them, because I wasn't ready. And I didn't tell them for the exact reaction I was scared about, and that's exactly what happened."—Nick
Now, while Nick may be sleeping on the sofa at the Bevers home, he is still working, and still planning to continue his education; he’s suing the donations to pay for school and get himself a car so he can get back and forth to classes.

Complete strangers did this for him when his own family threw him out of the house.

As I said, we sometimes create new families for ourselves when our own families don’t want us because we’re gay, or something, but in the case of Nick, his new family is made up of people who might never meet him, who realize that just because he’s bisexual doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to be loved.


Helen Lashbrook said...

There is a word for what his 'parent's did to Nick and that is THEFT. Their actions are completely immoral; I wonder if they are church goers?

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to be the parents are churchgoers and Republicans. Only fake Christians would be so cruel to their own family members.

What they did was theft. I hope there's a way to prosecute them for this. It's what they deserve.

anne marie in philly said...

disgusting "parents". nick sounds like such a nice guy. I'll go visit the funding site.

may nick's "parents" be visited by the black plague, locusts, grasshoppers, and other vile karma. what goes around comes around, asshat "parents".

mistress maddie said...

What assholes!!!!!! Well, the laugh is on them. Of course, being the Scorpio that I am, would let loose a batch of bed bugs in there house.

the dogs' mother said...

Those people have forfeited the right to be called parents. I hope a lawyer gets wind of this and goes after them.

Debbie said...

My Arnie, my dear departed cousin who was my first friend in life and who passed away from a brain tumor last year was gay. His mother AND father accepted him. We all did. I always knew Arnie was gay. And I think he suffered a lot before coming out. Afraid that he would be disowned, shunned. Coming from a Hispanic family I'm certain he was afraid of what is father would think. But he accepted it. No problem. And they accepted his partners later in life. He was very lucky. There are so many other gay people who get cut-off and disowned by their families. And I feel very bad that Carlos's dad feels the way he feels. But things are changing and hopefully, one day, being gay or lesbian will be no big deal. It usually is the super righteous who hate the "other" and are afraid of what they don't understand.

Great post Bob.

Anonymous said...

UPDATE: Nick's father sent the following response to this story to The Huffington Post:
Bottom line, Nick had posted his personal business ALL over social media (FB, Twitter, Instagram, We asked him to come down stairs and verified that it was true. My wife and I have known for 3-4 years Nick was gay, that was NEVER our issue. Our issues stemmed from him admitting to drinking and driving, getting suspended at work for a week for insulting his supervisor, blasting his personal business all over social media for future employers/nursing school applications to read, and his down right disrespect to every member of our household, especially his sisters by giving them graphic details of his sexual encounter with a 26 year old man (not something 3 teenaged girls need to hear from their big brother). Nick has a chip on his shoulder and a temper as well.

We gave him 4 rules:
1)take down all Social Media for 30 days because it was consuming his life and he could be posting things that 5 years from now he will regret
2)that he was not grounded BUT he was to drive to and from work and/or school with our car until he proved he was making better decisions and not drinking and driving
3)he needed to change departments at work because he was currently reporting directly to the ex-girlfriend that got him suspended for a week (I even went & talked to his manager for him & that was his suggestion)
4) that he needed to seek counseling to process all of this and deal with the anger he has towards his biological mother

At no point in time did we kick him out. He chose to leave because he didn't want to abide by our rules. Rules that were still pretty lenient considering. He showed up at the house after his first day back to work from his suspension, started yelling, cursing and threw his car keys at my wife, then assaulted her and grabbed her. She was offered to press charges by the police (that Nick called) but didn't want to ruin his college career or chances of getting into nursing school. He said, "I don't want shit from you people". We told him, "Nick you only have 6 weeks left in this semester. Lets get you through it and we will find you an apartment and get you moved if you don't want to stay here". About the car, it is a leased vehicle that we leased for Nick with an agreement that he would make the car payments, pay for insurance and gas. He agreed to all of those terms and we told him he would be responsible for all 36 payments no matter what, again, he agreed. As for taking his money, Nick was well aware that the remaining payments for his car were transferred to our account. We told him repeatedly take the car you are going to need it, we will make sure the payments are made. He again refused to take it. His sisters were present with all of our conversations with him so for him to lie and say that we took his money, his car and kicked him out is a down right lie. We didn't ask Nick to leave and we certainly wouldn't put out one of our children because of their sexual orientation. We are way too laid back for that.

Kind Regards,

Nick's Dad