Monday, November 04, 2013

♪ ♫ Deck The Hallmark ♫ ♪

Every year Hallmark issues some of their Keepsake Ornaments to the market hoping the buying public will want to add to their collection of cheap plastic, possibly made in China, traditions. But this year they’ve decided that another tradition should be homophobia.

One of their 2013 Keepsake ornaments looks like a little Christmas sweater, with the lyrics to “Deck The Halls” written on it, except, that in Hallmark’s world the line "don we now our gay apparel” is bad, and has been changed to “don we now our fun apparel” because, you know, gay is bad.

Kristi Ernsting , a spokeswoman for Homophobiamark Hallmark said the line was intentionally changed to prevent misinterpretation by holiday shoppers — who may have never heard the song, though the melody of “Deck The Halls’ has been around since the sixth century, and the “new” version is a relative babe at just 147 years old:
"When the lyrics to 'Deck the Halls' were translated from Gaelic and published in English back in the 1800s, the word 'gay' meant festive or merry. Today it has multiple meanings ... the trend of wearing festively decorated Christmas sweaters to parties is all about fun, and this ornament is intended to play into that, so the planning team decided to say what we meant: 'fun.'"
Because ‘gay’ isn’t fun to Hallmark. Because ‘gay’ is bad and if someone says the word gay or wears a stupid sweater with the word gay or hangs a cheap plastic bauble on their Christmas tree with the word gay, folks will think they’re homosexuals and that’s bad; and not good for business.

Ernsting added: 
"That’s the spirit we intended and the spirit in which we hope ornament buyers will take it."
Um, no, this buyer takes it as an insult that Hallmark wants to rewrite a hundred-plus year old Christmas song because it contains the word gay and gay is bad, so yeah, I am insulted.
Naturally, with the shiz still hitting the fan, Homophobiamark, damn, Hallmark, released another statement on their website:
"We've been surprised at the wide range of reactions expressed about the change of lyrics on this ornament, and we're sorry to have caused so much concern. We never intend to offend or make political statements with our products and in hindsight, we realize we shouldn't have changed the lyrics on the ornament."
But Hallmark has no plans to stop selling the ornament.

In related news, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble have decided to quit the long-running animated show, The Flintstones, over the use of the word ‘gay’ in the theme song, lest anyone think these two cavemen might be closeted ‘mo’s. Now their agents have released a statement saying the two may stick with the show if the line is rewritten, “we have a fun old time.”

And, the city of Paris has asked that people stop referring to it as “Gay Paree’ because they welcome people of all sexual orientations and have instead decide to call themselves “Paree avec plaisir” Fun Paris.

But, back to Hallmark: shove it. I don’t buy your ornaments and I won’t buy them now.

If you'd like to tell Hallmark how ridiculous they are, and homophobic, stop in HERE and click the link Hallmark Consumer Care Issues.

Because gay is still fun.


9 comments:

Mitchell is Moving said...

Unbelievable! I think I'll send Hallmark a little card.

Raybeard said...

Jesus wept!

Alieux (Daij) said...

Shaking my damn head. Lol @ Fred Flintstone!

The Huntress said...

I haven't shopped at a Hallmark store in years, so the boycott continues.

Ms Sparrow said...

Talk about breaking your back bending over backwards!

the dogs' mother said...

Just when you think you've heard it all...

anne marie in philly said...

I second the huntress; hallmark stores are evil incarnate, like wallymart and mcdogchow and h8-fil-a-holes.

mistress maddie said...

Oh for petes sake. The thing is tacky looking anyway.......not tasteful enough to have gay on it.

anne marie in philly said...

@mistress: oh suh-NAP! ;-b