Friday, November 01, 2013

PR All-St★rs 3, Ep 2: Gettin' Buggy Wid It

All righty then, Week Two and a field trip to the Museum of Natural History, where host, and so Not-Heidi, Alyssa Milano gives the designtestants their next challenge: choose an insects or an arachnid and create an avant-garde look inspired by the critter. The look needs to incorporate the creepy crawlies color, shape, texture, and movement. And you have $250 and ten hours so get cracking.

Let’s rip ….

SETH AARON He goes for the Hissing Cockroach—which I thought would have been better suited to Elena—and his look is avant-garde and cool and edgy and armored. Me like.

CHRISTOPHER He picks something called an Elater Beetle and creates a buggy dress, which I liked, with some Freddy Kruger-Wolverine nails that I thought were overkill.

VIKTOR Ever the dainty flower, Viktor was drawn to the Cabbage Butterfly. His look was cool, though the model struggled to walk in it and the Miley Cyrus horn-hair was a mistake.

KORTO A Tiger Centipede spoke to her, and while her look had some interesting detail, doing most of it in black made it impossible to see. I wished for more tentacles or arms or legs; it was too safe for me.

JEFFREY — The Hairy Scorpion

What the hell? The foam-cape looked like a seat cushion off a banquet in a very cheap restaurant, and the hood was just too much. It didn’t incorporate the texture of the bug—hint: hairy—except for bits of fluff sticking out of the foam-cape-thing. And the red leg? Jeffrey said it hinted at danger I thought it hinted at The Shower Scene in Carrie. Plug it up!

Isaac called the hoof gratuitous and a slap in the face, he muttered something about a woman not being able to drink a martini, and Jeffery shot back, "This is an avant-garde look. I didn't know I was supposed to make an avant-garde outfit." Isaac snapped: “Avant-garde doesn’t mean unwearable.” 

When Jeffrey removed the foam-wrapper Isaac admitted that the fabrics and colors were good. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called the cape “clumsy” and said it was a hack job—as in Cristina??? Bring me the axe!! Alyssa said the only place she wears a hood is in the bedroom. M’kay.  Guest Judge, jeweler Jennifer Meyer said the cape looked phallic to her; I replayed the catwalk and didn’t not see phallic and I would see phallic before anyone else. Just sayin’. Anya Ayoung Chee, guest judge and Season 9 PR Winner, said it looked like an outfit for one of Lady Gaga’s back-up dancers but not an outfit for Gaga.

Jeffrey’s defense of his look saved him, I think.

MELISSA—The Sri Lankan Spider

During the crit, Not-Joanna Coles, Zanna Roberts Rassi, tells Melissa her look resembles a Zeh-bra, not a Zee-bra, and so Melissa starts all lover. I’d say it was a mistake, but she needed to do it. She was making a very simple black-and-white dress and not any kind of spider look.

Still, she misfired.  It was a Little Black Dress with a wee feathered Backpack. Oh.Honey.No.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the proportions but said it was definitely not avant-garde. When Isaac said he wished for more of the spider straps Melissa said she’d wanted more, too, but, alas, that old PR Devil Time Management got to her. Alyssa could only say it wasn’t avant-garde until Jennifer Meyer said she would by it, at which Alyssa bellowed, “There is NOTHING avant-garde about a little black dress!”

Melissa dodged a bullet. She’s safe.


During the crit with ZRR, she begged Daniel to go berserk and this is what he gave us: a mullet dress with a plastic apron and a chin guard. It’s Haute Couture Hockey? Haute Couture Lab Assistant?

Isaac hated the throat guard and called the length ‘terrible.’ The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the color, but said the flowy back had an attitude that didn’t jibe with the carwash apron front. Alyssa said the proportions are off and Anya blamed the whole look on bad fabrics; saying bad fabric choices = bad taste. Jennifer Meyer liked the back of the dress, meaning she liked it when it walked away.

And walk away it did, talking Daniel with it. He’s out.

IRINA—Bumblebee Millipede

What happened to the black-and-yellow striped number in her sketch, because what she showed looked nothing like the sketch; and that may have saved her. Her look was freaky and kooky and scary and looked like a weapon, but it was definitely avant-garde.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought it was a gorgeous dress, very avant-garde with a great silhouette, but felt the feathers in the face was a step too far. Isaac called it experimental and daring and brave, but wondered why it was all black and Irina said she didn’t want to go literal bumblebee so she made the dress black and the makeup yellow. Anya loved the mix of textures in the gown and Jennifer said it was a red carpet dress, though I wondered exactly what red carpet. Alyssa said she thought it captured the movement of a millipede and I thought she was just filling up air-time, but again I rewound, or replayed, the catwalk, and it did move like a millipede, so, Good on you, Not Heidi!

I think the feathers in the face kept Irina from the win. She’s safe.

ELENA—The Lubber Grasshopper

It looked like a grasshopper, and looked very avant-garde, but it’s the same color-blocking thing she did last week, and the same color-blocking she wears. I mean, she had on color-blocked pants that would have gone well with her look when they went to the museum. I was less-than-impressed.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the way the orange cinched in the model’s waist, and Isaac loved the proportions and said it was very reminiscent of the grasshopper, and looked like a skin the insect could shed—perhaps to reveal color-blocked undergarments? Anya called it very avant-garde and thoughtful.

Elena gets Second Place.

MYCHAEL—The Horned Worm

His first look was a literal remaking of the worm; ZRR called it “elimination worthy.” And Mychael ditched all of the green and went back to the HP Design Pad thingy. And it was a good thingy, because his second look referenced the worm, and the color and texture and movement, but was a very cool design on its own.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ asked about the fabric—Neoprene—and said it looked very soft and luxurious, like wool, and played well against the hints of neon green; she also said it was an elegant reference to the bug. Isaac called it expensive and strange, and loved the Coco Chanel-esque length, and dubbed it couture art. Anya loved the structure of the dress, the way it mimicked gills [gills?] and called it gorgeous. Alyssa simply said, “Well played, Mychael.”

Well-played, indeed, right into the top spot.

I loathe Christopher, The Obvious Queen. Not that he’s an “obvious” gay man, but that he’s the queen of stating the obvious: like reminding us that real designers have months for an avant-garde look and they have just ten hours, Like reminding us that it’s getting real and someone’s going home.

That said, I will give him Line Of The Night for saying Jeffrey’s dress looked like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story. He was right.

I'm kind of surprised Daniel left rather than Melissa. His look was too literal while hers wasn’t enough of a look. And I’ll miss the little facial expressions he makes. Giddy schoolgirl, being a favorite.

And what was with the direction to the exhibit at the museum. Now, call me a nitpicker, but Alyssa Milano first said the exhibit as one floor below, then told Elena—who picked her bug first—that the exhibit was right behind her, and then Elena ran up the stairs. Seriously? Must I call the Continuity Police on the PR?

What did YOU think?


the dogs' mother said...

We watched whilst dispensing candy to trick or treaters and trying to keep Abby locked up lest she eat the trick or treaters. Probably the most interesting part were the bugs themselves. I kind of feel bad for the black widow spider I vacced up in the garage.

The Huntress said...

I finally got to watch it this morning. I think Irina got robbed, but then again it's not like I've ever agreed with Georgina or Isaac on anything.