Thursday, November 21, 2013

I Have A Suggestion ... Let's Drug Test All Elected Officials

Y’all heard about Trey Radel, right? The Freshman Republican Congressman from Florida who was arrested trying to buy cocaine from an undercover police officer? That guy?

Yeah, he’s the same guy who backed a GOP plan to make food-stamp recipients take drug tests to prove they were drug-free and worth of public assistance. You know, because We the People pay for their food stamps, and so We the People have a right to know whether or not they do drugs.

Well, I am not here today to argue that point, I am here to offer a suggestion that I think the GOP and people like coke-head Trey Radel might approve: I think we should drug test all members of Congress; hell, we should drug test every single politician we elect. After the votes are counted, the newly-elected mayors and governors, Senators, Congressmen, Presidents even, must head down to their local drug-testing facility and pee in a cup.

On national TV. Election Tuesday! Urination Wednesday! I like the sound of it.

And I’ll tell you why I suggest this plan: folks like Trey Radel and the entire GOP — okay, most of the GOP — believe that if people are living off of the government then they should be subjected to drug-tests because, you know, if we're buying 'em food then we have a right to invade their privacy. And if they have a drug problem and test positively for it, then, to paraphrase the Soup Nazi on that episode of 'Seinfeld,' No food for you!

So, if we make those folks that live off the government pee in cups, then it’s no great leap to suggest that our politicians do so as well. I mean, as We the People pay for the Food Stamps, We the People also pay the salaries — and for the healthcare insurance — of our elected officials; in essence, our politicians are on the dole, and, as such, they should be subjected to the same rules they wish to set forth for folks on Welfare. Don’t you think so?

Let’s start the Election Tuesday! Urination Wednesday! campaign for all elected officials at once. Then we won’t have any more Trey Radels running around buying dime bags on our time, and with our dime.

As to Radel lets’ talk facts:
He’s been in office ten months; he’s been in DC ten months. And in those ten months he’s already become a target of police drug investigations and the sting that lead to his arrest. Court documents say he bought cocaine on several occasions.

On Wednesday, Radel pleaded guilty to a ­misdemeanor drug-possession charge and was sentenced to one year of probation and ordered to undergo substance abuse treatment:
“I’m sorry. I have no excuse for what I’ve done. . . . I’ve let down our constituents, I’ve let down my family. I’ve let down my wife, and although he doesn’t know it, I’ve let down our 2-year-old son.”
Now, let’s be clear, Radel ALLEGEDLY did not receive preferential treatment because he’s an elected official drug addict, but because DC  law classifies simple possession of any drug — except PCP — as a misdemeanor; charging documents say Radel bought cocaine “for his personal use and also, on occasion, [to] share it with others” but not to sell, which is a felony.

Now, he says he’ll seek treatment and take a leave of absence from his job — the one he’s had for just ten months — and go to rehab. Again on our dime.

But, if we drug tested elected officials who take our money for their salaries, then we ought to insure that they will be able to do the job without having to leave their offices and go looking for a bump in the night.

ELECTION TUESDAY!! URINATION WEDNESDAY!! Politicians must pee before taking office!

Just sayin’.

6 comments:

S'A said...

That was my exact same thought when I heard this story. Our military people have to take surprise pee tests, why shouldn't our politicians!?

the dogs' mother said...

And people who work at nuclear plants!

The Huntress said...

I like this idea. Then we'll know for sure if these idiots are on drugs or they're as batsh*t crazy as we think they are.

anne marie in philly said...

YEAH! asshat redumblican! he's sorry he got caught.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Love the idea, bring it on over here too, but the tests should also be random, otherwise the wannabe politicos could give up drugs for a few weeks before the election and then revert to type after.

Debbie said...

I agree. That is a brilliant idea and it makes PERFECT SENSE. Run for President Bob. Please. I'll vote for you.

And by the by, I'm so tired of the standard, UN-FUCKING-ORIGINAL apology:

“I’m sorry. I have no excuse for what I’ve done. . . . I’ve let down our constituents, I’ve let down my family. I’ve let down my wife, and although he doesn’t know it, I’ve let down our 2-year-old son.”

BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.

UGH.

Smooches!
Deb