I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Josh Duhamel.

D-list actor best known for being married to a Pea....a Black-eyed Pea.

And now he's known for being a douche.

It seems Prissy McDuhamel was escorted off of a plane this week after he refused to turn off his BlackBerry.

See, he's a celebrity, or he was a celebrity, or he's married to a celebrity.

It seems that Joshy was on a flight from New York to Kentucky, when, according to sources--and by sources I mean baggage handlers--he was asked by a flight attendant to turn off his BlackBerry before takeoff, and he refused.

One passenger says Duhamel was "very rude" and "taunting the attendant." who ALLEGEDLY told Josh to turn off the device three separate times, and on the third time Josh laughed at his request.

Well, rather than grabbing a beer and going all Steven Slater on Duhamel, the flight attendant called for backup, and the plane, which was already on the runway, was turned back to the gate. Two US Airways representatives boarded the plane and escorted  Prissy Duhamel off of the aircraft.

Duhamel's rep said Josh was texting on his BlackBerry about his flight being delayed, and the rep adds, "He's sorry."

Oh, yes indeed, he is sorry.

D-list dumbass.

Kelsey Grammer is getting married!

Again!

But, um, before you try to find out where Grammer and his future wife, 29-year-old Kayte Walsh, are registered, let's wait for Kelsey to divorce his third wife first.

Kelsey's representative, Stan Rosenfield, says, "They are engaged. They never really announced it. They are very happy and very much in love."

There was, however, a sort-of-announcement, when Walsh began appearing in public wearing a ginormous diamond engagement, so the need for a formal announcement was unnecessary.

There was, though, an announcement over the summer that Grammer's third wife, Camille Donatacci--who costars as the resident crazy on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills--filed to end their 13-year marriage, citing irreconcilable differences, named Kayte Walsh.

Donatacci, a 41-year-old former Playboy model and dancer--and by dancer, I mean, she has her own pole-- has two children with Grammer.

An online gossip source--and by source I don't mean me-- says, "You don't have to be officially divorced to get engaged -- at least that's how Kelsey Grammer sees it, and he's given Kayte Walsh a gorgeous diamond ring to prove it."

No, you don't have to be divorced to get engaged again, but it would be nice.

And to think that just a couple of years ago she was the wacky cat lady in her Scottish village, going to karaoke at the local pub.

Now, however, according to Cliff Dane of Britain's Sunday Times Rich List, Susan Boyle is worth about $16.5 million.

That's a lot of pints. And cat food.

Here's what Dane had to say about it:

“Unlike a lot of artists who write songs and have heavy touring commitments, most of Susan’s income has come from old-fashioned record sales, mostly CDs as opposed to downloads due to the nature of her fanbase. I estimate she is currently worth $16.5 million based on royalties and advances accumulated to date.”

That's our SuBo.

Doin' it old school.

I smell desperation.

Oh, wait, it's not desperation, it's Russell Crowe.

It seems that Russ wants to do a sequel to his wildly successful film, with the mile-long title, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.

Which would be fine, but it seems as though Russell is the only one interested in a sequel, and is now using Twitter to drum up interest, starting a twittering campaign to make a sequel.

Master and Commander: From Even Farther Across The World, Down The Block, Around The Corner, Up The Stairs, In A Drawer, Behind The Socks.

Here's a little Crowe Tweet:

"If you want a Master and Commander sequel I suggest you e-mail Tom Rothman at Fox and let him know your thoughts"

Wow, had I known that all it would take to force another bad sequel to another bad movie I've never seen would be a Twitter account, well, I might just head back and start Twatting, Tweeting, or Twitting, some more.

Once again, the US is two steps behind.

In fact, we're a whole fox trot out of step.

Other renditions of Dancing With The Stars from around the world have featured same-sex couples as partners on the show and there was hope that the trend would continue here in America.

Not so much.

Word came that ABC was looking to have Mrs. Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, become one half of a girl-girl dance team, but now Portia has said No.

And now ABC and Dancing With The Stars have decided NOT to feature a same-sex couple.

Here's what a source--and by source, I mean the woman who had to let out Blister Palin's costumes each week--says: "If Portia had agreed then this would have been a done deal. She was the only star that could have pulled this off without completely offending the program's conservative viewers."

And what about the shows more open-minded viewers? Oh, really? There aren't any?

Here's what a Hollywood casting director says: "With all the debate going on about Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the country, this would have been the perfect time to do this. Yet, the show has never been about pushing the envelope. It's a huge hit because it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable."

Oh, I disagree. Watching some poor slight man try to hoist Blister Palin into the air makes me horribly uncomfortable. Watching Kate Gosselin ape-walk made me nauseous.

The very idea of the show makes me uncomfortable.

Jake Gyllenhaal is NOT happy with paparazzi, and they don't like him either.

So there!

It seems that while Jake was driving his ::::gulp::::: lady-friend, Taylor Swift, around Beverly Hills, he became infuriated with paparazzi trying to take their photos, so he called the police.

And the LAPD, because they have nothing better to do than make sure Swiftenhaal are not bothered, ALLEGEDLY sent over unnecessary amounts of support on the ground AND in the air.

I know!

Gossip site--and by gossip site I don't mean this one--x17 watched the madness and reported: “I don’t know why Jake was in such a bad mood. We saw him and Taylor in the car and when we tried to see where they would park to get out, Jake went crazy. It’s like he didn’t want anyone to get a shot of him and Taylor together. I mean if he’s going to do set-up shots with the paps like he did last week, what’s the difference?!”

I don't know what about this story is more nauseating.

That the LAPD goes full-on commando raid to protect a couple of celebrities, or that Jake Gyllenhaal is dating Taylor Swift.

Seriously, Jake. Taylor Swift?

Honey. No.