Aaron Sorkin and The Witless Bully

Television [The West Wing] and film [The Social Network] writer, Aaron Sorkin, is very well known for having a way with words, and he's taken his pen and aimed it directly at......The Mama Grizzly Bore [MGB].

This should be good.

Sorkin took to The Huffington Post to air his grievances about S***h P***n's recent defense of her on-camera slaughter of a caribou during the last episode of her "reality" show "S***h P***n's Alaska.' 

MGB, who fancies herself a frontierswoman, hunting and shooting her own food because that's the way real Americans roll, tried to head off attacks of her hunting escapade in some pre-show Tweets: "Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation of tonight's episode."

Well, Sorkin didn't want to save his condemnation of MGB, and replied in a lengthy piece entitled, 'In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had it Coming.'

Sorkin, like most sane people who aren't drinking the Grizzly Bore Kool-Aid, wasn't buying the assertion that no one who has used or eaten animal products has a right to critique the gleefully bloody nature of MGB's hunting foray: "You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion. You were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals." 

In fact, he went further, and said that MGB's victim was "the first moose ever murdered for political gain." 

And so it went on: "You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully."

And a witless bully she is, posing for pretty pictures with her kill. Now, before you rant and rave that people hunt all the time, well, blibbety blah blay blue, I know. But Plain doesn't hunt for food; she hunts for publicity. She isn't killing to feed her family, she's killing fort airtime.

See, the kill didn't go down quite like MGB showed you. It took the Wasilla Nitwit six shots, the use of two different rifles, and help from her Daddy to bag her prey. Quite the hunter.

Sorkin wrote, "Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart."

Sorkin, then goes on to address one--just one of the many--criticisms of 'S***h P***n's Alaska'--that the show is not representative of MGB's own experience in the state; he notes that she seems awestruck to be witnessing many of the things she's sharing with her audience, and he calls he a "phony pioneer girl."

Aaron Sorkin: "I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was."

Well, MGB has to look pretty for the camera at all times. I wonder if Lord & Taylor supplied the wardrobe?

And, knowing how the MGB likes to lash back at her critics, Sorkin disclosed his own 2001 arrest for cocaine possession, knowing it would be brought to light by MGB mouthpieces in response to his criticism. 

But he ends nicely, and succinctly: "I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, S***h P***n is deranged and The Learning Channel should be ashamed of itself." 

Well-played. Mister Sorkin, well-played.

Aaron Sorkin's HuffPo piece