I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

When last we left star of Hallmark’s College Admissions Scandal, Lori Loughlin, she was desperate to stay out of prison; she didn’t even wanna do Felicity Huffman Time™. And so now she and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, have come up with the best defense ever: Lori and Mossi will now use the ‘We did nothing wrong because the faked rowing pictures were [ALLEGEDLY] never sent to USC.

One of the allegations against the One Percenters Giannulli is that they faked daughters Olivia Jade and Isabella’s rowing credentials so that they could get into USC as athletes. This was a red flag since the girls went to a high school that didn’t have a rowing team. Uh oh; rich and dumb?

Prosecutors argue that Rick Singer—whiz behind College Admissions Scandal—ALLEGEDLY told Lori and Mossi to take the photos and submit them with their daughters’ admissions package. Prosecutors say the only purpose of the pictures was to defraud the university. But USC sources say the pictures were never part of the Giannulli girls’ admissions package and so now Lori will simply say she must be acquitted because the fake photos weren’t in the envelope.

But if that doesn’t work, Lori and Mossi will play the ‘We didn’t know the 500K we gave Rick was a bribe.’ Yes, the man who asked them to fake some pictures also asked to be paid half-a-million bucks, and they saw nothing odd about that.

Meanwhile, it’s also being reported that Lori has hired a “prison expert” who might help her transition from Aunt Becky of Fuller House to Cell Block D Becky of the Big House.

Like I said, rich and dumb.

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I wonder if Rod Stewart and his son Sean thought they’d get a family discount for brawling?

It’s being reported that the Stewart clan was celebrating New Years at The Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida when a security guard told pissant Sean Stewart that his group couldn’t enter a private event.

According to the police report, that security guard, Jessie Dixon, was working a private event in the children’s area … yes, the children’s area … of the hotel when he saw the Stewart group trying to get in. Dixon told them they had to leave, and they ALLEGEDLY got loud, and that’s when pissant Sean, aged 39 … yes, 39 … got in Dixon’s face and demanded to be allowed into the kiddie party.

Dixon then put his hand on Sean’s chest and told him to back up off of him and then septuagenarian daddy Rod Stewart tried to come to his son’s rescue and threw a punch, striking Dixon in chest.

The police were called, and Rod explained that Dixon got argumentative with his family which justifies trying to break someone’s ribs ; Rod then tried apologizing, but then the security tape was viewed and it showed the Stewarts were “the primary aggressors.” 

Jessie Dixon pressed charges against Rod and the Family Stewart, and they’re due back in Miami next month for their arraignment.

Perhaps this time they’ll have a pass for the kiddie area?

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JLo wants an Oscar but instead she’s getting sued.

Samantha Barbash—the former stripper who inspired Jennifer Lopez’s 2019 film Hustlers—is suing the diva for $40 million.

Did the movie even make that much? In court documents Barbash claims Lopez, and her company Nuyorican Productions “exploited” her likeness in the film without her permission. She ALLEGES that producers approached her to “obtain a consent and waiver” and she refused. Barbash says they then just went ahead with the film anyway. Barbash also claims J Lo’s portrayal of her in the film was “false” and “offensive” due to her character “using and manufacturing illegal substances in her home where she lived with her child,” which Barbash denies ever doing and because JLo couldn’t act her way out of a pair of tearaway undies.

Barbash is suing for $20 million in compensatory damages and $20 million in punitive damages and wants the court to force producers to turn over copies of the film.

So, she can sell them out of the trunk of her Buick, I’m guessing.

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Kardastrophes are dumb. Real dumb; even if their true last name is Jenner, they’re dumb.

Take one Kylie Jenner, for example. She recently made a $1 million donation towards helping Australia deal with the immense fires consuming their country. Not so dumb, but let’s backtrack …first she posted how sad she was about the fires killing millions of animals and then right on the heels of that she posted her $1480 real mink fur Louis Vuitton slippers.

Yes, she cares for the animals dying in the fires in Australia while wearing mink slippers.

Dumb as effing dirt. But it goes on … to Kim Kardastrophe and sister Khloé. It appears that Kim got pissy with the internet for getting mad at her and her family for talking about climate change; one commenter wrote:

“Nothing gets me more heated than to see the Kardashians/Jenners talk about climate change/wildfires & not donate even a penny.”

To which Kim replied:

“Nothing gets me more heated than to see people think they know what we donated to and to think we have to publicize everything.”

And then Khloé—whom I used to think of as the smart one, or at least the normal one until all the injectables in her lips went to her brain—took the internet to task as well:

“Good deeds should be done with intention and not for attention. We are all blessed to be able to bless others even if it is in the slightest way. But we do not need to be boastful about that. Be boastful in regards to teaching others how they may be able to help as well.”

Seriously. Forget about kylie, she’s a moron, but let’s focus on Kim and Khloé, two of the biggest fame whores and social media abusers who post every iota of nothingness about their lives online expect anyone to believe that if they donated money to climate change or the fires in Australia, they wouldn’t take to Insta or Twitter or Facebook or Sites For Asshatted Wannabe Celebrities To Brag On Themselves and tell the world?

Bitches please.

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Lastly, from the moment Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie broke up people have been wondering how long until Pitt and first ex-wife Jennifer Aniston would get back together.

Well, wonder no more, because the two are coupling again.

Now, there’s been no announcement, but there have been subtle clues … first, Jen invited Brad to her fiftieth birthday party. Then they both showed up to the Golden Globes, not together, but they were both there. And then when Brad won a Golden Globe and was giving his acceptance speech, the cameras cut to Aniston and she was smiling. The last clue? Brad mentioned her in his speech … oh, it was hidden, but when he said he would have brought his mother, but didn’t because any woman photographed with him is suddenly his new fiancée, everyone knew that meant he and Jen were back together and not being seen to together just to throw us all off the scent.

But, Jen’s pregnant, and Brad is moving in with her and changing his name to Brad Aniston.

Wait and see; I’m right.

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