Saturday, January 25, 2020

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...


I loathe Taylor Swift, but then I read this, and while I still loathe her, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous.

I also loathe Justin Bieber, but then I read this, and while I still loathe himr, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous

Rumor has it that Swifty tried to have Justin Bieber and his entourage kicked out of the Dogpound Gym in West Hollywood so she could work out in private. Her request was denied.

Anyway, Justin was “working out” when Swifty showed up for her work-out with a trainer—which was mostly just posing while people tried to make her look interesting—and she wanted the gym shut down for her personal private use only. And everyone—including the Biebs—was told to vamoose because Taylor had an appointment.

Well, Justin pipsqueaked up and said he was going to finish his “work out” and then and only then would he leave. And Justin, who did not have an appointment, finished and left and Taylor got in her “work out.”

Wow, who to pick in this scuffle … which side to take … Oh yeah, I’m #TeamNoOne.
While the old adage that there’s a sucker born every minute was proven true once more now that GOOP’s coochie candles sold out, we know that one Martha Stewart never bought one and never will.

On a recent Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Martha opened up an enormous can of shade about Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest attention beg:
“I’m sure it’s sold out. She does that kind of irritating … she’s trying to zhush up the public to listen to her. And that’s great, I mean, let her do her thing. I wouldn’t buy that candle.”
And when Andy Cohen asked Martha what it said about America that people were buying a candle that smelled of GOOP cooch, Martha said:
“I think it’s just a lot of guys who are horny.”
Buy a GOOP Cooch Candle™, grab some lube and tissues and have a tug, eh Martha?
While we’re all waiting for that new Adele album to drop, there’s some other new music you might wanna get your paws on. After months of teasing the public, Lindsay Lohan has let fans … Fans? Plural? … know that her newest album will be out at the end of next month.

Get in line now, it’s sure to sell out faster than Lindsey’s Vagina Candle which smelled of weed and Stoli and bar mats.

While we know that Lohan signed with a record label last June … ALLEGEDLY …  and she did release a new single, the “wildly” popular …at least with Lohans … Xanax, last September, here we are, a month into the New Year and where’s the album, LiLo?

Lindsay let the 700 people who follow her on WorldofLindsayLohan know that her newest album is dropping in February. 

She didn’t say what year, however, so maybe don’t get in line just yet.
What? She fooled us? She wasn’t a spoiled drunken stupid party girl, but rather a simple girl with simple needs all this time?

Apparently so, because … wait for it, it’s rich or at least it pretends to be … Paris Hilton now claims her whole life up until right this minute was an act! At least that’s what she’s claiming in the upcoming documentary This Is Paris, and she is out pushing this thing with all kinds of revelations:
“I’ve never done anything like this in my life. In this film, I discuss things I’ve never discussed before. I hope that people are going to see who I truly am.”
A shallow vapid useless splotch of DNA? Honey, we already knew that.

But Paris swears the documentary follows her in “real life,” and that, well, let’s have her say because every time I try I start laughing so hard I can’t type:
“It follows me in my real life, everything I’ve done before was me playing a character. I was talking about things that are very hard to talk about. It was an amazing experience but it was very scary. I was freaking out.”
Paris also swears she was in on the “joke” that she was some dimwitted blond dye job with no discernible intellect or talent or use.

This Is Paris will debut on YouTube in May—so you know it’s the truth—and afterwards Paris will begin working in soup kitchen in South Central while getting a Masters in Social Work, opening up her Beverly Hills manse to immigrant refugees, and donating a lung to a needy child.

Seriously. ALLEGEDLY.
Hockey player, Brooks Laich and his wife, actress[?], Julianne Hough, have been having marital problems or something because she’s doing that Oops, I forgot my wedding ring thing celebrities do; oh, and sources, I believe them to be Julianne Hough, say there have been marital issues for months.

Brooks has a podcast, upon which he often has Julianne and they discuss everything, but this marital strife is on the down low? Or, is it Brooks? While Julianne has said before that she’s not completely straight, Brooks is now suggesting that he’s like to explore his sexuality.

Brooks recently spoke with Gavin DeGraw on his How Men Think podcast and talked about how he isn’t “100 percent fully expressed” in terms of his true sexuality and that now he will do a “pleasure first” route in his choices. What does that mean? Well, Brook said it like this:
“One of my goals this year is to really explore like, learning about sexuality … People think that sexuality is just the act of sex, of just having sex and there’s so much more to it. Here’s a question … Are you fully 100% fully expressed in your true sexuality? With your partner? With everything? You could not imagine having a better sex life? Are you truly there? … I’m not either. So that’s what one of my goals this year is to really dive into.”
Does he want kink or does he want dick?

I’d offer to lend a hand …or whatever …either way.
photo

11 comments:

Deedles said...

Wow, another group of (fill in the blank) giving vaginas a bad name! Mine decided to pack up shop and hide (even more) so as not to be associated with these (fill in the blank)! She is not pleased and Balder Half ain't so happy either! At least you rounded this post off with a big (fill in the blank)!
I hope this is civil, Bob.

Helen Lashbrook said...

If Paris Hilton has been playing a part all this time and is really an intelligent and thoughtful woman, all I can say is that she is one hell of an actress

As for GOOP candles....there are obviously a lot more braindead people out there than I ever figured and my original figures were NOT low.

Blobby said...

While I'd lend a hand (or whatever) to Brooks, I think it just means he wants to fuck around on his wife. I say: go for it.

the dogs' mother said...

Again, the candles, much ak-ness!!
xoxoxo :-)

anne marie in philly said...

none of these idiots you feature, bob, are worth ANYBODY'S attention. they deserve to rot in the dumpster. bet that candle smells like 3-day old rotted fish.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I'm team Beiber on this one, just because I can't stand anyone who pulls that, "I'm so special nobody can be around me" diva b.s.
Yeah I would totally help that hockey player in any way he needed... or I would totally watch him and another hockey player shooting and scoring.
Lindsay sings? Like real singing? As in she sings to music and not just in her head? Wow I was not aware of the many many many talents she doesn't have!
Martha has street cred now that she's been in the slammer.

Bob said...

@Deedles
I needed that last one this week!

@Helen
Paris is the new Meryl Streep dontcha know!

@Blobby
I think you're right, but a queer can dream :::sigh:::

@TDM
I know!

@AM
But the hockey player? The hockey player?????

@Steven
It's all ego and trash and talentless hacks with a palette cleanser of hot man.

anne marie in philly said...

@bob - nope, not even the hockey player is exempt.

Dave R said...

The only reason Swift, or the Biebs, go to the gym is to be seen, though Swift seems to also need to prove her ego is still intact.

Evidently Netflix is getting flak for Paltrow's docu-thingy because so often she ventures into failed pseudo-science.

And Brooks is... very, very interesting. I was wondering, as a hockey player, does he still have his teeth?

Anonymous said...

I am far, far from being a Taylor Swift fan, but I do think you were remiss in not noting that most entertainment sites are reporting that she had paid to reserve the entire gym for a private workout (which hardly seems unreasonable), so wanting what she paid for (the gym to herself) is not narcissistic. Also, who is your source stating that her request to rent out the gym was denied? If she is really that narcissistic (and I'm sure she is), it's highly unlikely she'd hang around after being rebuffed in such a manner. There are so many reasons to dislike Taylor Swift it hardly seems necessary to make up more.

Bob said...

@Anon
It's narcissistic to rent an entire gym for yourself.Build one st home.
And her request to have everyone leave was denied not her request to rentit out.