An Emmy Stream of Consciousness

Ah, the 66th Annual Emmy Awards … more pats on the back from the 1% to the 1% … I kid … kind of because I am an Awards Show Whore™ … 

Seth Meyers is our host and his opening bit was funny … jokes about holding the even on Mondays to avoid competition with the VMAs … Video Music Awards from a channel that no longer shows music videos … jokes about holding the event in August to avoid completion with football because … it maintains the actor’s tradition of running away from jocks … but the best of all was calling television the “booty call of entertainment” because, yeah, that’s what it is … it doesn’t care what you watch, when you watch, what you do while you watch … just watch … Seth introduces Beyoncé Amy Poehler to announces the BEST ONSCREEN ORGASM IN A CIVIL WAR REENACTMENT OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY … Ty Burrell … Modern Family … cute, slightly funny speech, but it seems to set the mood for an evening of the same old, same old … Zooey Deschanel presents with Alison Williams and has to fight to reach the microphone because of William’s hoop-skirted mess OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A COMEDY SERIES … Louie CK for Louie CK accepted by Louie CK … OK … I like Louie but is he the funniest writer on TV every year?

Jimmy Kimmel presents OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY and riffs on why Matthew McConaughey is there … All right all right all right already! … the award goes to Allison Janney … Mom … watched it twice … never more … I don’t find it terribly funny … OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS IN A COMEDY … Jimmy Fallon for SNL and Uzo Aduba for Orange is the New Black … Uzo helps Hayden Panitierre present OUTSTANDING DIRECTING IN A COMEDY SERIES … Gail Mancuso … Modern Family … same old … she stared at McConaughey so as not to cry … I would’a glued my eyes to Jon Hamm … or even Julianna Margulies’ husband … Matt Bomer … even Ricky Gervais would have been better than McConaughey who looks like a cartoon version of Matthew McConaughey … the Billy Eichner Billy On The Street bit could’a been cut … parts were funny but … why? … Bryan Cranston and Julia Louis-Dreyfus present ...  

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES … but first she says to Cranston … “Hold on Clark Gable” … and mentions how he looks like the dentist from a Seinfeld episode … he was the dentist and he reminds her that he kissed her … she shrugs it off… the award goes to … same old … Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory ... meh … it's a funny show and he's funny in it ... but, again, every year? ... I think not ... Jimmy Fallon presents

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES … Julia Louis-Dreyfus Veep … Cranston leaps from his seat and plants a looooong wet one on her … now she remembers him from Seinfeld … John Mulaney presents with Mindy Kalling … he’s adorkable … OUTSTANDING REALITY SERIES … The Amazing  Race … again! … In a weird move, just before a commercial break, an announcer begins speaking about Julia Roberts being nominated for an Emmy for The Normal Heart  and how she’s there in the audience … it’s like they’re setting you up for her win … Seth returns and takes questions from the audience … Melissa McCarthy is the most high-larious woman … and the Emmy Bathroom Key joke was funny though ending with Fred Armisen was not … OUTSTANDING MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Sherlock: His Last Vow … not The Normal Heart? … 

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … even after the Julia Roberts plug the award goes to Kathy Bates American Horror Story: Coven … loved her but still kind of a shock even to Bates … Stephen Colbert comes out with his invisible friend … yes, it was as funny as it sounds … sarcasm font … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Matt Bomer … Matt Bomer … Matt Bomer … WTF? Martin Freeman for Sherlock … my Husband-In-My-Head was robbed … OUTSTANDING DIRECTING MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Colin Bucksey Fargo … not Ryan Murphy The Normal Heart … this isn’t good … I saw Fargo and it was a pale, paler than ice and snow version of the original … Seth and Beyoncé Amy Poehler return to introduce Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson … I thought they would do a take on their “Oh Really” SNL segment … it was a bunch … too many … lame jokes about pot and sex and boners … yeah, I know … McConaughey and Harrelson ... OUTSTANDING ACTOR MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Benedict Cumberbatch … Sherlock … I like him in that but, seriously, not Mark Ruffalo? … Live Schreiber and Kerry Washington … damn he’s hot … and manly … hot manly … 

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS MINISERIES/MOVIE/DRAMA SPECIAL … Jessica Lange … American Horror Story: Coven … it’s about time … she’s brilliant in that show … every year … no matter what she plays … I.Love.Her. … Live helps her to the stage … hot manly … chivalrous … yum … Weird Al sings a montage of theme songs from today's television shows … it's a colossal waste of time … colossal … we could'a shaved off another five minutes and I could'a been in bed by 11PM ... OUTSTANDING MINISERIES … Fargo …I am not amused ... it's good …  not great ... 

OUTSTANDING TV MOVIE … The Normal Heart … Larry Kramer comes up onstage … hero … icon … rebel ... bravo … Ricky Gervais presents OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A VARIETY SPECIAL … first he riffs on losing to Jim Parsons … high-larious … did Parsons win because he’s “local” … it could have sounded crass, but it was totally Gervais and totally funny … Sarah Silverman wins for Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles …or are we molecules hurtling through space? … Key and Peele … Key is hot … do a riff on the boring accountant introductions because … boring accountant introductions … Chris Hardwick … comedian … kinda cute … riffs on Internet trolls and there their they’re their problem with grammar … OUTSTANDING VARIETY SPECIAL … the 67TH Annual Tony Awards … an Emmy for Tony … m’kay … Gwen Stefani … looking better tonight than she did at the VMAs and Adam Levine … OUTSTANDING VARIETY/MUSIC/COMEDY SERIES … The Colbert Report … Gwen call it The Coal Bore … lovely … Fallon jumps onstage thinking he won because Stefani mispronounced it … not funny Jimmy … you aren’t the host … stay seated please … Sofia Vergara introduces the President of Television… or something … and it turns into glorifying Sofia Vergara because of her tits’n’ass … haven’t we grown beyond this? … but she shares some of the blame for letting them do that to her … seriously stupid … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR DRAMA … Aaron Paul … Breaking Bad … he seemed kinda jittery, y’know … In Memoriam … Sara Bareilles sings mile” … breathtaking … Billy Crystal comes out to speak of Robin Williams … beautiful … “Robin Williams. What a concept.” … 

OUTSTANDING DIRECTOR DRAMA … Cary Joji Fukunaga … True Detective … he’d be hot if he lost the braids … but that’s just me … OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS DRAMA … Anna Gunn … Breaking Bad … Katherine Heigl … so out of place at an acting awards show … OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS DRAMA … Joe Morton … Scandal … Alison  Janney … Masters of Sex … Morton presents OUTSTANDING WRITING DRAMA … Moira Walley-Beclkett … Breaking Bad … Viola Davis … love her … 

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS DRAMA … Julianna Margulies … The Good Wife … the best thing about seeing her win ... again ... is getting g to see her very adorable husband Keith Lieberthal … again ... yum … OUTSTANDING ACTOR DRAMA … Bryan Cranston … Breaking Bad … not a surprise at all … it seemed to have been in all the papers before the show ever aired ... still, a great speech about growing up as Sneaky Pete and learning to follow your dreams ... 

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES … Modern Family … also not a surprise, though now it ties Frasier for most best Comedy Emmy wins in a row … still, Steve Levitan always gives great speech … and he’s cute, too … talks about taking his daughter to work one day and how nothing really got done … at home she thanks him for taking her then says to her mom, "It's a wonder we have a roof over our heads” … I like MF but I wish some of these shows would retire themselves from the nominations because some Emmy voters ... like Republicans ... always vote the same way every year ... 

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES … Breaking Bad … another non-surprise … sure, some people were sure it would be True Detective but again ... same voters ... same votes ... at least next year it won't even be nominated so maybe someone new can take home a statue?

MY TAKE … it finished right at 3 hours which has got to be some kind of record … no big surprises though … some upsets  ... Matt Bomer was brilliant in The Normal Heart … love that Jessica Lange won … it was a funny show … but Seth Meyers was outshone by both Jimmy Kimmel and Ricky Gervais … I know they could go off and riff on people because they weren't hosting but they really brought the funny ... perhaps next year … ?