Friday, August 22, 2014

PR 13 Ep 5: The Season of Fringe .. But This Time It's Good Fringe

Ah, the challenge that every designtestant dreads: make a dress for Heidi … make work-out wear for Heidi … make lunch for Heidi. But this time the pressure is on because Heidi doesn’t just want a dress, she wants a dress that she’ll wear to the Creative Arts Emmy Awards; this is a dress that will be seen.

I hear RuPaul in the background: Good luck! And don’t f**k it up!

And she has three simple rules: make it unexpected, make it fashion forward, make it fearless. Tim throws in another rule: don’t bore Heidi because we all know that’s the kiss of death.

During a walkthrough with Tim, Heidi took out hits on so many designers that they were all given $100 and the chance to go back to Mood to rethink some of their choices. If they didn’t go back to Mood, they could give their money to any other designer, and Sandhya, really thinking about competition, hit up several others for their cash and was about to buy another $400 in textiles.

But even with the second chance there were several deaths on the runway last night, so let’s rip …
ALEXANDER First off, it looks like it’s being worn backwards, because it was ass-short in the back and knee length in the front. Plus, is that papier-mâché? I mean, that dress is stiffer than Kristen Stewart’s acting.

CHAR I actually like Char, but her first choice was a bad cruise-y print that Heidi loathed, so she went back to Mood and got this fabric that looks like Prom circa 1983. It’s nice, it’s dull.
EMILY I was thinking this looked like a Walk of Shame dress but it is just a hooker-looking mess. It is so short you can almost see the fine china and the tea cups on the top shelf. Emily dodged a bullet with this one.

FADE Heidi called his first look safe, and it was, and even after his second trip to Mood, it stayed safe. It’s a nice print, it moved well, but it was definitely not Red Carpet.

SAMANTHA When Heidi saw the top, it was cool, with some great deal, a lot of “boobage,” as Heidi called it, and a great back. Heidi warned her not to make the bottom half boring but I think Samantha was still basking in the Bodice Praise because, yeah, the bottom half is boring. Plus, I never understand why some designers think a piece of fabric hanging off to one side looks good; it looks like the skirt ripped and is hanging on by a thread.

SANDHYA Her first dress was a Joan Collins gold-and-peacock-feather mess and, when given the choice to go back to Mood, she worked the workroom for another $400 and came up with this. It’s better, not best. Heidi loves to show off her legs and her boobs and her back, and this dress only had back; pretty and simple and a little too tight to walk a carpet in.
This was Sean's week to go fringe, but he was going to show Amanda how to go mega-fringe. He was also going with a bold color which could have been a disaster. But those were two of the things Heidi loved when she saw his look in the workroom; she was, however, worried about the black and value fringe but Sean promised to give it a trim before it walked and he did.

It looks expensive, interesting, playful … great color … great cut

I loved the fringe and the way it moved, though it did seem a bit heavy when standing still.

Guest judge, and Olympic skier, Lindsey Vonn—apparently skiers know red carpet fashion—called it different and beautiful and loved the ombré fringe. The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the whole thing, from the color to the ombré fringe to the way it moved. Nina was, at first, worried that the fringe seemed heavy at the midsection, but felt that the bare back balanced the whole look out and made it sexy; she agreed with Tim that the dress made her smile. Heidi loved the back, called the dress fun, and loved Sean’s haircut … on the dress.

After a couple of weeks at the bottom, and very nearly going home last week, Sean scored the Big Heidi Win.
While the other designers kvetched about how they don’t ‘do’ Red Carpets and they can’t ‘do’ Red Caret in a day, Kini just giggled and pounded out a gown in about an hour. Snap. Heidi loved it during her drive-by, but worried that he wanted to add sleeves and that the back could be barer. Then Tim laughed and told Kini he could fix it in 30 minutes if he skipped his nap.

It looks sexy, classy, but conservative with a little edge.

Heidi loves boobs and legs and back, but he nobly gave her back—like Sandhya—though it’s a stunning dress.

Heidi said it was fantastic, very expensive; and she loved the back and the drama and called him a master at dressmaking. Lindsey Vonn loved it, loved the curves, and the way it clung to the body even though the back was so low-cut. Nina called it body-hugging done well, and well-done, and said the model looked extraordinary wearing it. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said he gave Kini’s dress the highest score out of all of them; he called it smart and impeccable.

Kini took second place and I can’t help but think that, had the dress been in some color other than black—you rarely see Heidi in black—he might have gone Top Spot.
I still loathe her smug-smarmy-aw-shucks-gee-whiz-I’m-just-trying-to-make-a-dress-here-and-I-hope-you-like-it attitude, but … but … she knows her style and was able to adapt it to a Red Carpet look.

She did change it up a bit because in the workroom, the beaded top showed no cleavage—Heidi called the original look a beaded bib—and she brought the “boobage” to the runway.

I can totally see Heidi walking the Red carpet in this dress. I think it would be a bold statement for her.

It needed some detail on the back—beading or something—because even I know a Red Carpet dress is photographed from all angles. And the only bold statement Heidi would get in this dress is “Where’s the Gay Rodeo?”

Heidi said it looked elegant and different and gutsy, and it still was Amanda’s POV and would photograph well. The Adorable Zac Posen™ hated the beaded trim running down the front—he compared it to cheap drapes—but loved the fit and the concept. Nina called it ‘very Amanda’ which might be a good thing, and might be a bad thing. Lindsey Vonn noted that, up close, the details looked amazing, but from far away they get lost. Nina offered a final comment, “I don’t mind it. It needs polishing.”

Amanda gets third place, though, personally, I think there were just two good looks, a few safes, and a lot of bad. It should have been a Top Two with Sean and Kini and Amanda should have simply been safe.
This was not her challenge; we heard that from the star. So, seriously, is it any wonder she tanked? Of course, Heidi’s big sigh upon seeing Korina’s original look didn’t help. Heidi called the color sad, saying it looked like a “lodenjacke"—German for hunter’s jacket. And she nearly slapped Korina for the snake skin; especially when Korina said it wasn’t faux but the real deal.

So, Korina scrapped her idea and went back to Mood and picked what she called a prettier emerald green. I went to my phone and made an appointment with an eye specialist because that girl doesn’t know color; it was the same drab green … only … shiny!

And because she went back to Mood she had so little time left she made a basic [read: boring] dress.

None of the seams are pressed. The back is a little tight. The top is a little bit big. The hemline is totally uneven.

You forgot that it’s ugly.

Nina was pissed off! “Where do I start? Why the cliché ideas? Why not a jumpsuit?” She hated the color, the construction, the technique, the train, the fact that it looked matronly. Then she just called it amateur hour and shook her head, saying, “No. No.” Tim and Zac had to hold Nina back from running to the catwalk and pummeling Korina to the ground.

Heidi said she loved green, but, again, not this green; it was sad and boring and mother of the bride. Lindsey Vonn said it all looked like Korina ran out of time … and ideas? … while The Adorable Zac Posen™ hated the back, and wondered what was intentional about the design and what was a mistake; he also wondered why Korina would place a quilted pad over the ass, but, hey, those awards shows are long so maybe she was thinking of comfort?

Believe it or not, there were worse things on the runway last night so Korina lives to piss Nina off another day.
Lord this child was a mess. He doesn’t do Red Carpet … clearly … and he doesn’t know how to design. I’m thinking he got through design school by doing some extra credit with the male instructors down at the No-Tell Motel on Route One … just sayin’. I mean, as they are herded off to Mood, even Tim remind Mitchell that the look needs to be “elegant and sophisticated.”

That ain’t good.

During Heidi’s critique she said she loved the color, but hated that Mitchell had created some kind of devil’s horns atop the boobs; she wanted more cleavage, but Mitchell said he gave her an open back. But when he turned the mannequin around there was no open back at all. Mitchell has no idea what to do.

Except run back to Mood for more red.

The front’s not sooo bad … janky sipper … Hot mess express.

Why is it so short if you bought more fabric? And why are there ruffled on the boobs?

Heidi said there was a lot wrong with it; too short; the slip can be seen through the slit; the back was rough … Heidi actually gasped … and the zipper was bad, really bad. She called him out for the uni-boob and then added, though it was unnecessary, “It hurts my eyes.” Lindsey said he simply tried too hard and called it unflattering. Nina loathed the Christmas ornament red, said the fabric looked like bad lining fabric, and called it matronly with a bad bust; or maybe she said the whole thing was a bust? Adorable Zac Posen™ simply told Mitchell he was out of his element.

And out of the completion. Buh-bye Mitchell; South Florida awaits.
She’s another one who doesn’t ‘do’ gowns, but then why audition for the PR? Every freaking season there’s a gown challenge, so if you want to be on the show, at least try to make a gown before you get to Parsons. Don’t.Waste.My.Time.

And, seriously, don’t pick bad colors. What on earth suggests that pale slate gray with red straps is a red carpet look? Unless it’s the red carpet in your house and you need a dress to wear while vacuuming!

Heidi called the gray fabrics bedsheets … cheap bedsheets … and that sent Kristine running back to Mood for red fabric. But not enough fabric because, well, she also went short.

Her boobs are out and it looks like Devil horns.

Heidi loves a boob on the Red Carpet, but not nipple … never nipple.

Adorable Zac Posen™ called it “Boob Canyon” and said he could see everything; he called it “indecent exposure” and said he gave it his first ever PR Zero Score He did, though, like the modern rake on the paneled hemline but called it badly made and crumpling. Lindsey Vonn took on the role of Captain Obvious and said it looked like the real Devil wears Prada. Mu sides! Stop it! Yawn. Nina also liked the paneling, but called the whole mess poorly made, and Heidi said she likes to wear short on the Red Carpet if it’s elegant. If it’s elegant.

Kristine took a seat next to Mitchell of the Auf’d Express.
While Mitchell’s look deserved to be sent packing, I thought Korina should have gone home instead of Kristine. She totally screwed up what was basically a simple halter dress. How does someone so that and live to sew another day?

I’ll give Heidi credit, too, because she doesn’t have to wear some unknown designer on the red carpet. She wears the big names. So this was cool, and a big win, to have Heidi Klum wearing your dress at a big TV event.

Now, the judges: Olympic medalist Lindsey Von? There wasn’t a celebrity available who knows more about red carpet looks? Debra Messing rocks the carpe t and she’s been on the PR before, and yet they chose a skier. I’m, flummoxed. Next week, I think the guest judges are Dr. Ruth and Dr, Phil because the producers need their heads examined for their judge choices.

People seemed pissed that Sandhya had so much extra money to spend because, as she was told, and they were all told, they could do, was ask the designers not going to Mood 2.0 if they could have their money. She played the game, people, while the rest of you played Pity Party.

Line of the night: Korina saying "Who can make a red carpet dress in five hours?" Um, Kini probably could ‘a made five gowns in that length of time, hon.

What did YOU think?

2 comments: said...

Last night’s installment of Project Runway was my least favorite EVER. We already knew who won! Surely this episode was intended to air BEFORE the Creative Arts EMMYs! The “dress with the strings” was all over the internet last week.

I had to wonder if any of the designers knew what a “red carpet event” was or if they’d ever met Heidi Klum!

I disagreed with almost all of the judges’ decisions. There were only three or four dresses that Heidi Klum could actually wear to the EMMYs where she would a) ride in a car, b) walk a red carpet, c) be photographed from all angles and d) sit for several hours while her blood circulates.

With that in mind my top three would have been Sean, Fade and Kini. I would have sent home Emily (Klum don’t Lohan when she gets out of a limo) and Mitchell (It would’ve fallen apart before she got to her seat).

While Kini hasn’t won a competition yet, I think he could be the last designer standing. At our house, we’ll pop one cork when Sandhya outlasts Amanda and a second when Sandhya leaves the following week.

Great post! I look forward to your recaps!

the dogs' mother said...

You make my Friday afternoons!!

All the pictures I saw of Heidi at the Emmys even she was twirling and whirling like a 2-yr-old in her first ballerina tutu.

Was surprised at the poor workmanship of the auf-ees. Red carpet challenge is as basic as the unconventional challenge. There should be nobody who can't sew that.