Thursday, August 28, 2014

Random Musings

Not a funny Carlos story this week, but a kinda cool one.

In his job, Carlos works a great deal with the Hispanic community in our town, county and state. Last year, he also worked with the Mexican Consulate trying to help a lot of the undocumented workers get their papers together and get them on the road to citizenship. I joked that he should get a job at the Mexican Consulate where he could work all day and I could go to lunches with the spouses of consulate employs and plan fabulous parties for the consulate.

Well, now it appears that we — and it’s ‘we’ because of ‘he’ — have been invited to a cocktail party at the Mexican Consulate in Raleigh, North Carolina next month to celebrate 204th Anniversary of Mexican  Independence.

Maybe that goal of being a consulate employee’s spouse might work out after all? Maybe, you know, at the Mexican Consulate in some fabulous European capital?

Fingers crossed.

I joke because what I really am is very, very proud of Carlos and the work he does.
Oh, this could be good … It seems that My-Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer, will be guest-starring on next season’s American Horror Story: Freak Show. AHS creator Ryan Murphy broke the news himself saying he was excited to reunite once again with the “amazing” actor, who was nominated this year for his performance in The Normal Heart, also directed by Murphy:

“I try to get him to do everything for me. I sent him a text that said, ‘First right of refusal, here’s the role.’ It’s very…warped.”

Murphy is even willing to work around Matt’s schedule for the filming Magic Mike 2 in order to make the appearance work.

Matt Bomer? AHS? Win.Win.
Has my watch stopped or is her fifteen minutes of fame not over yet?

Donald Sterling's former mistress/girlfriend/paid-whore V. Stiviano is now claiming that Sterling is gay and she was just his "beard" for three years before his wife Shelly Sterling filed a lawsuit against her.

Now, in response to Shelly's lawsuit, which accuses the model mistress of taking $1.8 million from the Sterling Family in gifts for sexual favors, Stiviano says that she “was not ever a sexual partner” of Donald. She is now claiming that Sterling is “homosexual and enjoys sexual and or sexual congress with males” and that she acted as his “beard.” She also says Shelly Sterling knew and “condoned” her husband's “sexual orientation” and approved “gifts of money and or properties” to Stiviano for acting as his beard.

Huh. So, racist Donald Sterling might be gay. Well, being gay is not such a bad thing, but … being a fame-whore who sells herself for cash is a whore of a different color.

Go away V. Seriously, you are pathetic.
Last season on Nashville there was a hot British guy on the show who had an affair with Hayden Panettiere’s character. Now, since I am a whore for an accent I always thought the character was hot.

Fast forward to this summer’s Extant and there’s a crew-cut wearing hot Brit on the show as a bad guy with a robotic arm and, well, the accent, and all, I was hooked.

Turns out the two hot Brits are the same guy: Charlie Bewley.

Bad guy with a crew cut. Adulterer with fine hair. I’ll take him either way.
This week a 9-year-old girl — that is not the girl in the picture … her name has not been released — accidentally killed Charles Vacca, an Arizona shooting instructor, who was showing her how to use an automatic Uzi.

Yup, a little girl with parents who thought it might be fun to teach their 9-year-old how to fire an automatic weapon and now she’ll live the rest of her life knowing she killed a man,

Lovely parenting skills that.
And now, just two days after that horrible accident—which wouldn’t have happened if the adults hadn’t put a gun in a 6-year-old’s hands, the National Rifle Association [NRA] touted new ways for children to "have fun" at shooting ranges by posting a Tweet to its NRA Women account that read "7 Ways Children Can Have Fun at the Shooting Range."

Except for that whole murdering people thing.

The NRA. What the ever-loving f%k is wrong with them that, on the heels of this horrific accident, they actually want people to bring children to a shooting range.

You know, all the haters are always saying that The Gays want to indoctrinate children to our “lifestyle” but who’s saying a word about the NRA trying to indoctrinate children to becoming gun-toting loons?
This post was written before Joan was hospitalized this morning. It appears she is now in stable condition, thankfully ... so here goes ...

This past Monday I posted a few pictures of what I thought were bad looks at the VMAs; that post is HERE

BeyoncĂ©, looking like a tease before shaking her ass and breathing hard onstage … Taylor Swift looking like  a cheap plastic blow-up doll … and Gwen Stefani looking like a car hop.

I actually said, of Gwen: “Slap on the skates and roll out my burger and chocolate shake to my car.

The next night, Tuesday night, watching the VMA/EMMY fashion roundup on Fashion Police, Joan Rivers said of Gwen: “She looks like she needs to be wearing skates and bringing a burger to my car.”

Did Joan plagiarize me? Or do great, sarcastic minds think alike?
Good news! Michael Sam is a still Ram having made it through the first round of cuts. Now, I am not a fan of the volleyball, so, well, I’ll tell you what ESPN said:

“That Sam made it through the first round of cuts is of little surprise after he posted two sacks against the Cleveland Browns on Saturday night. Through three preseason games, Sam -- the first openly gay active player in NFL history -- has five tackles and three sacks. Rams coaches' film review also credits the rookie defensive end with two quarterback pressures and a quarterback hit.”

I’m guessing that’s good because, you know, volleyball.

But then ESPN stepped in it big time when, in trying to discuss how Michael Sam, an openly gay man, fits in with his team, the network aired a segment from reporter Josina Anderson discussing Michael Sam's showering habits in the Rams locker room: when he's showering, which teammates he might be showering with, why he might not be showering with others, etc.

Seriously? This is news? This is reporting?

Rams coach Jeff Fisher was also angry about the report:

“I’m extremely disappointed in her piece. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s very, very unprofessional. Not only the piece itself, the content. (But also) the manner in which she did it. ... I’m disappointed for Mike. I’m disappointed for the players who she put in this position, and mostly I’m disappointed for her because she felt what she was doing was right — and it wasn’t right.”

It was stupid and feeding into that whole argument that gay players only want to be on professional sports teams so they can see nekkid mens in the shower. 

Stupid.Stupid.Stupid.

And so, ESPN issued an apology:

"ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports."

Ya think? This Tweet says it all ...

In Idiot News:

Gordon "Creepy Jazz Hands" Klingenschmitt, a Republican nominee for a seat in Colorado’s statehouse, has accused Democrats of lacking a sense of humor after he sent an email which said that Congressman Jared Polis, a Democrat from Colorado, will “join ISIS in beheading Christians.”

Oh, that’s high-larious! And so typical of the GOP and its wingnut faction.

In the email, Klingenschmitt wrote:

“The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next he’ll join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America.”

Mark Ferrandino, Speaker of the Colorado House, condemned Klingenschmitt’s remarks and demanded that Colorado Republicans do the same. Colorado Republican spokesperson Owen Loftus said that Klingenschmitt’s comments “in no way reflect the views of the party.”

Actually, it does, because while it was offensive, it was clear what he said while the rest of the GOP couches their hate rhetoric a little better.
And so, naturally, "Creepy Jazz Hands" issued an apology … of sorts:

“This weekend I sent out an email alert to my constituents in which I used hyperbole. You know what hyperbole is. It’s a literary device where you exaggerate to make a point. Well, apparently some Democrats do not have a sense of humor and they were offended by some of the things I said using hyperbole this weekend.”

And then he continued saying that, while it was wrong to compare Polis to Islamic State extremists, the Democrat was “persecuting Christian business owners here in America.”

Seriously, Colorado, this man is up for a seat in your state government?

4 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

xoxoxox to Carlos!!
(And you achieved satirical greatness before Joan - may she recover in time to diss again sooon)

anne marie in philly said...

oh my, this could be the start of something big (to quote a song title) for you and carlos!

and who the hell takes a 9 year old to a shooting range AND gives her an uzi? asshats, that's who!

Debbie said...

Re Carlos ... AWWWWW! I think I love him. Have fun at the cocktail party and post pics and a recap.

The little girl with the Uzi. WHAT. THE. FUCK. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND????? Freaking gun people. Unbelievable. Tragic, but unbelievable.

Your Emmy recap re Gwen and Taylor HILARIOUS!!!! And so on point!

AND YOU NEED YOUR OWN SHOW!!!!!

V. Stiviano - GAWD.

Charlie Bewley - DREAMY.

XOXOXO

Helen Lashbrook said...

Carlos is clearly one of those people who make a difference in the lives of others, so I can understand why you are so proud of him.

As for Klingenschmuck; what he says is libellous and his party should refuse to allow him to seek the nomination. In addition Klingenschmuck needs to check out the dictionary definition of hyperbole