Friday, December 13, 2013

PR All-St★rs 3, Ep 7: QV ... C What I Did There?

Now were down to the best and the worst; there is no more middle ground. And so it’s time to take flight, literally, as our designtestants board helicopters to whisk them from La Grande Apple down to the QVC studios in Westchester, Pennsylvania. After ooh-ing and aah-ing at the place a Jessica Rabbit looking creature comes tentatively down the stairs; it’s QVC program host, and obvious plastic surgery aficionado, Lisa Robertson.

Lisa tells the designtestants that this week is the time to design a Red Carpet look; for her. Because when I think Red Carpet, I think QVC. Okay, I don’t, but Lisa does. The winning look will be worn by Lisa to QVC’s pre-Oscar wingding, or shindig, or hullabaloo, or something. And the look must look good  during a live broadcast, look good moving, look good in photographs, look good sitting and standing, look good in a balloon or falling down stairs, look good in a Mini Cooper or at the stove making gravy.

You get the picture: it’s gotta look good! And a “version” of the winning look will be sold on QVC for mere pennies; really.

So, that said, let’s rip ….

THE BOTTOM THREE
VIKTOR
Viktor gets The Serious Edit, but more on that down there in My Take, because I do have a take on it.
And his dress gets one of the best lines of the night when Viktor sees what he’s done and says, quietly, “Motherpucker.”

WHAT I SAID
It’s a pucker, floppy, pukey mess that doesn’t move well at all.

WHAT THEY SAID
“It looks good but I’m just thinking, Damn, that tail’s so long she’s gonna trip.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Guest Judge Lisa Robertson called it flattering but admitted it didn’t photograph well—which was a huge part of the challenge. Fellow Guest Judge, Mad men star Elisabeth Moss loathed the color and hated the wings. Isaac Mizrahi loved the wings, but hated all the extra details like the gores and ruffles, while Fellow Guest Judge, All-Stars winner, and my personal favorite designer, Mondo Guerra loved the wacky details and kooky twists. Alyssa Milano was disappointed that the dress didn’t fit so well on the top.

WHAT HAPPENED
Viktor is safe.

ELENA
Totally out of her comfort zone, she skipped the neoprene this week and went for two different fabrics and shredded one atop the other for what she hoped was a scaly look because fish scales on a Red Carpet say “Style!”

WHAT I SAID
The hemline was weird; very short in the front and back, and floor-length on the sides. Plus, that reptile-looking textile was creepy.

WHAT THEY SAID
“It’s not my favorite dress. The tailoring is good, maybe the shape is a little off.”

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac thought it was a good dress, and loves the textile she created, but thought the shape was dowdy. Mondo said right off, “Who wears dowdy?” and then added that it wasn’t a favorite and thought the weird folds on the back were a mistake. Lisa Robertson said it looked better in photographs, or at least edgier, but thought the details were very creative. Alyssa thought the silhouette was disturbing.

WHAT HAPPENED
Almost out, not quite.

IRINA
Irina is a good designer, but who the hell makes a wedding dress for the Red Carpet? I mean, some women wear white, but not in this shape and pattern and design.

WHAT I SAID
My first thought was, Whichever cathedral this girl gets married in has to have a twelve foot wide aisle to be able to showcase this monstrous fishtail looking thing.

WHAT THEY SAID
“I really love this dress and I think a lot of women would love this dress. It’s a Red Carpet worthy dress.”
And then it ripped as the model climbed two steps.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac said the fabric was not her best friend, and pointed out that it was ripping. Irina shot back, throwing her model under the bus, “She tore it.” No, honey, it was too tight and it ripped. Isaac pointed out the tightness and the puckering and the pulling, while Lisa Robertson said it missed the “must be able to walk” instruction. She did, however, say it photographed very well and called it stunning, saying she’d wear it with skates and be pulled down the carpet she loved it so much. Mondo loved the flower detail while Elisabeth Moss stated the obvious Wedding Remarks; Alyssa echoed that it read wedding in person, but really wedding in photographs.

WHAT HAPPENED
Irina is a Bridesmaid this season; she’s out.

TOP THREE
SETH AARON
After last week's dress-making-a-thon, Seth Aaron found a design and stuck to it; well, he lost the mermaid fishtail after Zanna Roberts Rassi stopped by and slapped him for it. He decided to go Tea Length for the carpet.

WHAT I SAID
It was a big ass mess and looked like a highway after a monster truck rally.

WHAT THEY SAID
“I love the Wow factor of my garment. It’s dramatic. It’s gorgeous. It reflects like a million dollars.”

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Seth Aaron declared he was back, and Alyssa agreed, calling it cool, and saying she loved the way it photographed. Luckily they placed Mondo in between Alyssa and Isaac because Isaac couldn’t believe what she was saying; he called it difficult to wear, the butt was huge. The top was a hooray, the bottom was a boo. Mondo wondered about the wings on the dress, and called it risky. Elisabeth Moss loved the fact that he was the only designer to go short, but Lisa Robertson was worried that the short length hit a little too close to home, like home. She loved the way it photographed but didn’t think it was a Red Carpet dress

WHAT HAPPENED
Safe. Again.

CHRISTOPHER
We learn that he’s made a couple of gowns this seasons o he has a leg up on everyone else. At least that’s what he says. I loathe Christopher. That’s what I say. Plus, tulle? I mean, c’mon, gowns don’t always need tulle.

WHAT I SAID
The tulle looks ballerina to me, and the boobs seem both floppy and flat at the same time.

WHAT THEY SAID
“It looks gorgeous, really nice. The navy is super-chic; the black leather is really edgy. I’m really happy with it.”

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa loved the mix of fabrics, the hard and the soft, while Elisabeth noted that the photograph doesn’t show off the mix of fabrics at all; you couldn’t see the leather detail on the floppy flattened boobs. Isaac said it was amazing, adding, “You had me at navy tulle,” but later said it wasn’t innovative, though it was divine. Lisa Robertson loved the fit on the model and thought it looked better in person. Mondo rated it one of his lowest and called the skirt tortured.

WHAT HAPPENED
Second place Christopher.

KORTO
She had an elaborate dress in the making until Zanna called it cheap. After a rethink she went ultra-simple.

WHAT I SAID
It’s simple and pretty; perfect for an elegant dinner on a cruise, but didn’t seem Red Carpet at all.

WHAT THEY SAID
“My outfit flows so effortlessly. She’s classic. She’s rocking those pockets. She’s selling this outfit.”

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa called it comfortable and said she loved it, though the taupe top seemed to photograph really bland. Elisabeth loved the orange skirt and the glittery belt, while Isaac also loved it, calling it a fresh idea in a fresh color and saying it looked like part of a larger collection. Lisa Robertson said it wasn’t so glamorous but dubbed it sellable, which really isn’t high-praise, but this is a QVC challenge, y’all.

WHAT HAPPENED
Korto gets her win; finally.

MY TAKE
I really adore Isaac Mizrahi. I love the way he speaks, and I love when he says, “Hi kids.” Just sayin’.

I’m also loving Zanna because she really gets tough on the designers. This week she dubbed them all Not-So-All-Stars for their colors and fishtails.

I thought Viktor’s announcement of being HIV was a little planned. I mean, if he was saying it to be more open, why take just Elena and Seth Aaron aside and tell them. It seemed like an odd, disjointed thing to do, until I saw Mondo as a judge and remembered his beautiful confession on the runway to everyone about his HIV status. This one with Viktor seemed phony to me, designed to toy with our emotions.

Lisa Robertson's face was pulled tighter than Star Jones in an Herve Leger bandage dress, but she has a wicked way with the one-liners.

It’s clearer still that they want Elena at The Tents because Isaac Mizrahi loved her dress and then called it dowdy. Dowdy? Dowdy doesn’t walk the runway!! EVER!!

Irina. Had you done that same dress in any other color, and made it so a person could walk in it, you might have won this week. But you got ivory on the brain and that sunk you.

What did YOU think?

2 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

Did not like Korto's at all. Noticed QVC is also offering it with a black skirt. Bet it far outsells the orange one.

The Viktor/SethAaron/Elena moment - please. An important issue turned into a soap opera moment that I don't believe for a moment wasn't planned, scripted and edited to the nth degree.

When they have these challenges I always think PRODUCTION costs. They are going to pick the one with the biggest profit margin. And that is fine - that is their business - but don't pretend (PRAS) that some designs aren't automatically rejected because of cost issues and it is all about *art*.

The Huntress said...

The dress is $199.99. It's definitely one of the most expensive clothing items they've sold on there right along with some of Isaac's higher end stuff.

Lisa may be a plastic surgeon's best friend, but you're right she does have some good one-liners. That's why I like watching her Friday and Monday shows when I can.

Irina chose the wrong color for her design, but I still think she did better than The Chosen One™.