The Funny Papers

Mike Luckovich, Ann Telnaes, Jack Ohman, Nick Anderson, Jon Ostrove, Kevin Kallaugher, Ben Jennings, Mike Peters, Mike Thompson, Kirk Anderson, Tim Campbell, Lalo Alcaraz

Why Is It ...

… that the people who demand you say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ instead of ‘Happy Holidays’ the same people who worship the guy whose Christmas wish was ‘Rot in hell’?

… that a lot of attractive people suddenly become unappealing when you find out how they think?

… that whenever a Southerner tells me that it’s not ‘soda,’ it’s ‘pop,’ I always feel the need to ask them how many times they go to a bar and order ‘vodka and pop’?

… that sometimes when I can’t explain what I’m feeling I can find a song that can?

… that sometimes I’ll say ‘I don’t care’ about a proposition and then talk to myself about it for three days?

… that I wish people would be more grateful that I am not as disrespectful as I can be?

… that pickles are fantastic until you’re in one?

… that when someone tells me I’m cute, I think, ‘I’m feral and chaotic, so don’t touch me’?

… that I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room for New Year’s Eve so I might not even go?

I Didn't Say It

Fran Lebowitz, author and speaker, on the rise in racism and bigotry since Thing 45 ran for office in 2015:

“[Thing 45] allows people to express their racism and bigotry in a way that they haven’t been able to in quite a while and they really love him for that. It’s a shocking thing to realize people love their hatred more than they care about their own actual lives.”

Spot on. If you ask the MAGAts what thing 45 did for them, they will not be able to come up with an actual fact because all he did, and all he is doing now, and all he will ever do, is give voice to their fears and ignorance.

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Bob Good, GOP Representative from Virgina, arguing that the GOP loses on abortion because they’re not extreme enough on the issue:

“We just came off of an election in Virginia. And the narrative now is, ‘Oh, abortion is a loser. We got to surrender on abortion. We got to give in on abortion. We’ve got to be like the Democrats on abortion. Then maybe we can win elections.’ I would argue what’s the point of winning elections if you’re not going to fight for life? But beyond that, what was Virginia’s position? What was the state of Virginia’s political leadership position on abortion? We’re okay with 94% of abortions because we want a 15-week ban. And the Democrats, the other side wants 100% of abortions. So we’re going to rally in the red areas and the conservatives and the red base to fight for 6% of abortions? And I submit that’s the reason why we had low red turnout in Virginia.”

Not extreme enough? The GOP wants to ban abortion in all instances including rape and incest. Yup, a man rapes his ten-year-old daughter and she is forced to give birth. That’s not extreme enough? The GOP wants to jail a woman who had a miscarriage in Ohio. That’s not extreme enough?

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Debbie Dingell, Democratic Representative from Michigan, on Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl’s Christmas message:

“I think it was one of the most pathetic Christmas greetings I’ve heard when a former president of the United States who wants to return [to office] tells people on Christmas Day that they can rot in hell. After he went after me, quite frankly, there were men outside of my house with assault weapons and I have had threats. Hate and division are creeping into our communities far too easily. Violence is becoming normalized. Every last one of us has to stand up. We can disagree civilly [but] we need to respect every human being with dignity.”

Clearly Dingell doesn’t realize she, and this entire country, are dealing with a sociopathic narcissist. He has no soul, no dignity, no honor.

He’s a pig.

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Nikki Haley, stepping into a shitstorm with her town hall answer about what caused the Civil War:

“I think it always comes down to the role of government and what the rights of the people are. And we will always stand by the fact that I think the government was intended to secure the rights and freedoms of the people. It was never meant to be all things to all people. Government doesn’t need to tell you how to live your life. They don’t need to tell you what you can and can’t do. They don’t need to be a part of your life. They need to make sure that you have freedom.”

Haley refused to mention slavery as a cause of the war, saying:

“What do you want me to say about slavery? Next question.”

She later said the question was from a Democrat plant in her audience, and then later said of course slavery was the cause of the Civil War.

This is America under the GOP; slavery was good; it was like a training school for slaves; it was on-the-job training. If we elect people like Nimrata Haley to office slavery will not be discussed in school as anything more than a blip in our history.

Nimrata can fuck all the way off; believe what she says, and not how she spins it later, and then spins it again, even later than that..

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, former GOP governor of California, on voting in 2024:

“For the first time since I became a citizen in 1983, I will not vote for a Republican candidate for president. But as proud as I am to label myself a Republican, there is one label that I hold above all else—American. So I want to take a moment today to remind my fellow Americans that it is not only acceptable to choose your country over your party—it’s your duty.”

Hopefully, moderate Republicans and those who aren’t fully invested in the cult will hear these words and know that you sometimes have to take a stand for your country, even if your party loses power.

Otherwise, we’re going to lose it all.

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Bobservations

I was posting this edition of Bobservations and I had no funny story about Carlos this week, so I thought I’d share a short video of him playing his trumpet to open the South Carolina World Aids Day event in Columbia earlier this month:

That’s my husband, but …

I told him I was posting the video and he’d forgotten I posted  it to Facebook weeks ago, so today he decides to search Facebook and asks me what my page is called:

“What my page is called?”

“Yes. Because I keep getting your dad’s page.”

“My page is my name.”

“It keeps taken me to your dad’s page.”

“Robert?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not my name.”

“Well, what name is your Facebook page under?”

Yes, my husband asked me my name.

He.Asked.My.Name. Oy.

This Tuxedo Memory is from May 2013

"Notes From Smallville ... From Fun to Frivolous to Factual

I have said before that Tuxedo is the Most Handsome Cat ever, and, well, to brag some more he is also incredibly smart. And understands English.

See, when it’s dinner time, no matter where he is in the house, I can shout, ‘Tucky, are you hungry?’ And he races into the kitchen for his meal.

Sure, you say, but he’s a cat and he’s hungry.

But then, explain this: when I am ready to go to bed, I say, ‘Tucky, are you ready for sleeps?’ and her runs down the hallway to the bedroom.

I know.

And then this: our cats do not go outside. We have no way to contain them in our yard because we have an on-the-short-side split rail fence that they can jump. Plus, there are all kinds of other animals and diseases that they could catch being outside. So, inside they stay. But, Tuxedo, being the King Cat of the house, is allowed to go outside with supervision, meaning I carry him around the yard and he sniffs the trees and the flowers and bird watches.

So, Sunday afternoon, after working in the yard, I came inside, and yelled, ‘Tucky? Wanna go outside?’ and he came meowing down the hallway and ran right to the sliding doors of the sunroom, ready to tour the yard."

Smartest Cat ever; and, of course, the most handsome, too.

Fox and Friends host Griff Jenkins ripped President Biden a new one for going to St. Croix for vacation though he clearly had zero issue with Inmate # P01135809 golfing every weekend while millions of Americans died of COVID.

PS Griff Jenkins was substituting for regular Fox & Friends hosts … who were on vacation.

I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $208.47. I wanted a second opinion so I went to self-checkout and my new total was $43.20.

This Congress began its term with a bitter 15-round spectacle to elect a House speaker, a Republican who vowed to “never quit,” and then did just that. Then GOP House lawmakers punished one of their own colleagues with censures and expulsion, launched an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden and were barely able to keep federal offices from shuttering. And with just 27 bills and resolutions signed into law this is the most do-nothing session of Congress in recent times.

On the flip side, when Democrats are in Control things get done. CAST A GODDAMNED BLUE VOTE!

I could be wrong, but I saw somewhere that this will be Santa’s new outfit from now on. Now, that’s a lap I could sit on.

The Francis Howell School Board, a conservative-led Missouri school board, has voted to drop elective courses on Black history and literature, five months after the same board rescinded an anti-discrimination policy adopted in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd.

Black Lives Matter. Black History Matters.

In Ohio, a grand jury is set to decide whether Brittany Watts, who miscarried a nonviable fetus should face criminal charges.

Yes, criminal charges for a miscarriage. Watts was reportedly turned into the police after her miscarriage and has been charged with the fifth-degree felony of “abuse of a corpse.”

Wake up, people, this is the GOP at work, jailing women for miscarriages.

Jarryd Nurden is a singer, actor, dancer, model, life coach, equestrian and fitness model, and this week’s entrant in the Would You Hit It club.

Architecture Wednesday: High Above Silver Lake

This Streamline Moderne architectural estate was built by architect Saul Harris Brown in 1938 with a renovation and rare garden design by famed modern architect Gregory Ain. The multi-level, five-bedroom, three-bathroom, 2780 square foot  floor plan offers access to the garden and rooftop from almost every room and lots of privacy from which to enjoy sprawling views of the San Bernardino Mountains.

And while it maintains its original 1938 charm, the interiors and kitchen have been recently updated and plans exist for a pool to complete an already lush and secluded backyard. Due to its architectural significance, the house is eligible for Mills Act application; the Mills Act is a California  law which allows cities to enter into contracts with the owners of historic structures resulting into a reduction of property taxes in exchange for the continued preservation of the property.

But back to the home … the entry stairway leads to the living room with a wood burning fireplace, original Art Deco lights, views to the front and access to the garden pergola via ceiling height glass doors. On the opposite side of the living room the dining extends into a long, light-flooded galley kitchen with expansive pantry-storage and all new appliances. The kitchen and den on this level also have direct access to the garden and an adjacent bathroom.

On the top level is another bathroom and three bedrooms, each with walk-in closets and access to the large roof terrace while on the lower level is another bathroom, additional storage, laundry room and separate entry from the outside making the rooms useful as an office, bedroom, work out space, or guest room.

This unique architectural property features well-preserved and restored original details like ceiling lights, railings and gates, and hardwood flooring ; but there is all new electrical wiring, copper plumbing, central AC and heat control on all three levels, and a tankless water heater.

The garden is designed as the extension of the living room and consists of two levels, the lawn and the concrete platform above—where a pool could be built—separated through a concave curved wall.

2339 Silver Ridge Ave is a rare piece of architectural history on one of the most significant streets for architectural homes, including the 1925 How house by Rudolf Schindler, the 1939 Hawk house by Harwell Hamiltion Harris, the 1958 Morris house by A.E. Morris and the 1940 Sabsay House by J.R. Davidson among others.

And this piece of history, with a built-in tax break, can be yours for just $2,999,000.

As always. Click to emBIGGERate …

Dwell