Bobservations

The other morning, while fixing my breakfast I was stunned to look across the kitchen and see Carlos at the breakfast table … praying. Head down, hands folded across his chest, deep in ... prayer. 

Now, I am not against praying but we’re not exactly a praying house, especially Carlos. I was just about to say something when I realized he wasn’t deep in prayer; he had noticed a stain on the front of his shirt and was checking it out.

Now that’s Carlos.

I’m not saying this happened because he was drunk, or because he was from Texas, but a drunk Texan? That’s a different story.

Jayland Walker was a 25-year-old Black man who ALLEGEDLY committed a traffic violation. He attempted to flee the traffic stop and was shot sixty times.

Bobby Crimo is a 22-year-old White who ALLEGEDLY shot 37 people, killing seven of them. He attempted to flee a traffic stop and was safely, politely taken into custody.

Sounds about white.

The Fulton County special grand jury investigating criminal interference in Georgia’s 2020 elections has subpoenaed Rudy Giuliani, John Eastman, Cleta Mitchell, Kenneth Chesebro and Jenna Ellis, all of whom advised Thing 45 on ways of overturning the 2020 election.

Best of all, included in that list is South Carolina’s own, Miss Lindsey Graham, who is hard at work picking out her subpoena wardrobe.

I’ve never really pictured myself as a Roman Centurion, but if this is the drag I get to wear, sign me up.

Keep in mind, this is the GOP and this is a man supported by Thing 45 … hours after a shooter opened fire during an Independence Day parade in Illinois, state Senator Darren Bailey, who is running for governor, called for people to “move on and… celebrate.”

I guess they should just step over the dead bodies, and watch that they don’t walk though blood and light a goddamned sparkler?

Bailey later apologized “if in any way we diminished the pain being felt across our state today.”

Fuck all the way off.

What happens in Virtual Reality in Vegas, stays in … blab blah blah.

VR Bangers is delivering porn-enabled Virtual Reality headsets via delivery robots. Why robots, you ask? Well, even though the city’s resorts and hotels offer a variety of adult entertainment, they weren’t keen on storing and renting VR porn headsets.

So, wheeled robots will deliver a Quest 2 headset preloaded with VR Bangers’ movies, so discreetly that your neighbors won’t notice a thing. Just pop the top of the robot and you’ll find everything you need. And then you can pop your … well, you know.

Riaan Naude, a trophy hunter known for killing large animals and helping others do the same, was shot and left for dead on the side of the road in South Africa.

Can’t say I’m sorry. You wanna hunt for sport killing gorgeous animals because you can? Well, maybe someone had the same idea about you.

Matt Dubbe. I literally know nothing about him other than I am getting heavy 1970s and early 80s porn star vibes from him. So, Would You Hit It?