I Didn't Say It

Chris Kluwe, former Minnesota Vikings punter, on the punishment given to special teams coach Mike Priefer following an investigation into Kluwe's claims of homophobic remarks and anti-gay bias by the team:

"Players who get caught smoking weed or DUI get 4 games, and you're telling me the guy who made a comment like 'let's round up all the gays put them on an island nuke it till it glows' -- he's only going to get a slap on the wrist? ... I think he's probably sorry that all of this ever happened. I don't think he's truly sorry because in the report he kind of backs his way and says yeah, I kind of said it...The NFL is a league where you can get redemption for killing someone, for beating your wife in an elevator, for driving drunk, for a whole variety of things but when you speak out for civil rights, that's the one thing you cannot get redeemed for."

Priefer was suspended for just three games, and it may drop to two games, after his nuke-the-gays comment, and ordered to make a donation to LGBT organizations.

Not enough, says Kluwe, who still plans to sue the team.

Dick Cheney, on President Obama:

“I think he is the worst president of my lifetime. I fundamentally disagree with him. I think he’s doing a lot of things wrong. I’m not prepared at this point to call for the impeachment of the president. I’m glad to see that the House Republicans are challenging him, at least legally at this point, but I think that gets to be a bit of a distraction. It’s like the impeachment of Bill Clinton did — everybody could get geared up to have a big fight over it but it wasn’t going anyplace.”

Sit down.

Oh, but please wash the blood off your hands first.

Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, on the decision to come out and still play professional football:

"I was kind of second-guessing myself, 'Maybe football turned it's back on me.' I was like, 'Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did.' You know? I had so many emotions going in my head. And then I felt a touch over my shoulder and it was Vito, and I was just, I was like, 'I don't care what happens. I know I did the right thing in my heart. And whatever happens, happens. I'm just going to move forward.'"

That's love, and anyone who doesn't understand it, that it can occur between two men or two women, needs to just have a seat because they will never get it.

Rick Scott, Flori-duh governor, on same-sex marriage:

“People have a different view about it in our state. But in 2008, the voters decided that this state would be a traditional marriage state. It’s going through the court system. But what’s important to me is I don’t want anybody discriminated against.”

Um ... what?

Gene Simmons, Kiss asshat, on how it feels being part of the 1 percent:

“It’s fantastic! The 1 percent pays 80 percent of all taxes. Fifty percent of the population of the U.S. pays no taxes. The 1 percent provides all the jobs for everybody else. If the 1 percent didn’t exist, there would be chaos and the American economy would drop dead. Try being nice to rich people. I don’t remember the last poor person who gave me a job.”

Rockers shouldn’t speak, especially when they are as delusional as the man who made his living off his tongue and f**king groupies.