I Didn't Say It ...

President Barack Obama, on John Boehner’s lawsuit: 

"There are a number of Republicans, including a number in the Texas delegation, who are mad at me for taking these actions. They actually plan to sue me. Now, I don't know which things they find most offensive — me helping to create jobs, or me raising wages, or me easing the student loan burdens, or me making sure women can find out whether they're getting paid the same as men for doing the same job. I don't know which of these actions really bug them."

Probably all of them, because Obama wasn’t helping the NRA or the One Percent, which we all know as the major donors to the GOP.

Chris Christie, New Jersey Governor, on continuing to fight same-sex marriage even though he lost that battle in his own state:

“I don’t think that there’s going to be some major referee who’s going to say now it’s time to stop. Certainly I’m not going to, because these are opinions that I feel strongly about. … The country will resolve this over a period of time, but do I think it’s resolved now? No.”

Good luck carrying that theme into a presidential campaign, asshat.

Matt Bomer, on being nominated for an Emmy for The Normal Heart: 

"I couldn't even speak for the first minute, I was overcome with gratitude, just the moment was so profound for me. I've been working in TV for 13 years and to have this moment, I was completely overwhelmed and had to collect myself for a bit. [My husband] Simon knew firsthand how hard I worked on this role, how much we put into it, myself as an actor, and us collectively as a family. It was just really great to get to share that moment with him."

Sheesh. He’s hot, he’s talented, he’s gay and he’s sweet. No wonder he’s my husband … in my head.

Keith Ablow, Fox News wingnut, on California Governor Jerry Brown's decision to replace the terms "husband" and "wife" with "spouse" in the state's marriage laws:

"Here's the thing, the states need to get out of the marriage business. There's no way that the state of California can deny a marriage license to four spouses now. Eight spouses, or I would say three human spouses and the canine they absolutely love because if love is the foundation of marriage, they can love their dog, too."

Huh, maybe someone should teach Ablow to read because the new wording is singular — “spouse” — not plural, as in many wives or husbands; and since once has to be able to read and write and sign one’s name to a marriage license that eliminates, um, dogs and horses and trees and cars.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice, on the Hobby Lobby decision:

"Religious organizations exist to foster the interests of person subscribing to the same religious faith. Not so of for-profit corporations. Workers who sustain the operations of those corporations commonly are not drawn from one religious community."

She needs to start kicking ass and taking names on SCOTUS.

Todd Chrisley, star of USA’s reality show Chrisley Knows Best, on ‘the gay’ rumors:

“I don't believe that being gay is something you should be ashamed of. I don't believe it's something you should hide. And if I wanted to date someone, I would call you and I would ask you go to dinner with me. But right now, I'm very content in my life with where I am. Today, I'm not gay.”

Nice sentiment, all right, especially coming from someone who pings my Gaydar like a sledgehammer on a church bell, but I’ll take him at his word, with one caveat:

Today you’re not gay? Yesterday, maybe? Tomorrow, perhaps? That’s one odd thing to say.