I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Gwyneth Paltrow. Y'all know she's like EveryMom, though she has it a lot harder because she makes millions of dollars a year. But I never knew she had a team of people that are needed to keep her normal every day.

A source — and you know it's Lohan, live Tweeting from a pub in London — says: “Gwyneth has an army of people looking after her health.”

Seriously, she has a team that includes an allergist, blood analyst, naturopath and osteopath; there is a stress-relief team that consists of a meditation teacher, a yoga guru, a Qi Gong expert and four different massage therapists for cupping, Rolfing, hot stones and shiatsu; and, while Gwyneth loves to make out like she's a world class chef, her team also includes four nutritionists, three personal trainers and “detox advocate.”

It's takes a village to be that smug.

I guess.

So, last week I said Lindsay Lohan was getting all cracky about making her stage debut in a reboot of David Mamet's Speed-the-Plow in London's West End. I called her crazy and a liar and a cracktress and, well, I was wrong.

Oh she's still a crazy, lying cracktress, most of the time, but not about this. Lindsay Lohan is actually cast in Speed-the-Plow and will make her professional stage debut this fall in Mamet's play at London’s Playhouse Theatre. Performances begin September 24 and continue through November 29 with opening night on October 2nd.

Okay, so I was wrong, I can admit that, but, I'm gonna keep on thinking that, during the play's almost two-month run, Lohan will be absent about half that time. Here's hoping her understudy is brilliant and prepared because that girl is gonna be on stage a lot!

I guess all those people who said Shia LaBeouf couldn't get arrested on Broadway were wrong, because last week Shia went cray-cray during a performance of Cabaret and was arrested outside Studio 54 where the show is playing.

It all started with Shia thinking he could smoke in the theater because he's Shia; when asked to stop, he began smacking his fellow audience members’ butts and heads and that's when the NYPD rolled up. Shia, who tried to run but he fell on his face and was dragged away in handcuffs. 

But before it was all over Shia was shrieking and squawking and threatening to end the careers of the police offices, hurling homophobic slurs at, and spitting on, police officers. They had to put him in a Hannibal Lecter-type mask before hauling him away. And then while being fingerprinted LaBeouf screamed:

“I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys and I’m going to ruin your career.” 

He then called the officer a "fag."

He’s been charged with criminal trespass, harassment and disorderly conduct, according to law enforcement sources. No word on whether charges of bad acting will be added to the rap sheet.

Remember when Lindsay Lohan's Sex List was discovered and all those names of A-list actors — who were said to have schtupped the cracktress — came out? Well, Adam Levine, who was one of the men named, has decided to set the record straight during an interview with Howard Stern by saying, on air:

“I did not have sexual intercourse with Lindsay Lohan …”

Funny, though, he didn't mention any of the other sexual deeds that he ALLEGEDLY could have had with Lohan, because the list doesn’t say she had sexual intercourse with these men, it said Lindsay had sex with some of these men.

And intercourse ain’t the only sex act, even for such a straight shooter like Levine.

No one really wants to see a sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman but since the first one made a gazillion bucks at the box office, you're gonna have the chance.

Sadly, though, Snow White, AKA Outstanding Wooden Actress™ winner Kristen Stewart will not be in it. 

Chris Hemsworth will be back, as the Huntsman, and Charlize Theron may be back as the Evil Queen, but Stewart, and SWaTH director, and Stewart schtupper, Rupert Sands are not being asked back.

I guess the Casting Couch didn't help Stewart this time?

Y'all know Lifetime is producing a Whitney Houston biopic with America's Next Top Model Yaya DaCosta in the title role and Angela Bassett directing. It's not supposed to be great filmmaking, it's a little slice of Whitney's life, before the drugs ruined her, but still people are excited for it.

Except one Bobbi Kristina Brown — Whitney's daughter — who is all kinds of pissy that she didn't get the part and is slamming Angela Bassett all over the web after Bassett said this about the project:

“I did not think about casting [Bobbi Kristina]. And probably for a number of reasons, you know. One being that she’s not an actress. I know she’s acted here and there. I know she’s been on their family’s reality show, but she’s not an actress and acting is a craft. It’s an attempt to illuminate the complexities of human behavior and life. And this is a very fast-paced schedule; we have just 21 days to tell this story. It’s more than just saying lines and turning the light on. You have to drive the story—there’s a technical aspect.”

That sounds fair, right? Well, not to BK who retaliated on Twitter by suggesting that Bassett is really a man:

Classy act, girl. Your Mama would be so proud.

Okay, so I like the celebrity gossip snark, but I do realize that most celebrities are just like you and me, except that when they misbehave it makes news and when I misbehave I wake up with a massive hangover. So, yeah, with the exception of Lindsay Lohan, who is a rehab-going, drunk-driving, drag-racing, mother-kidnapping, jewelry-stealing, nightclub-brawling, cocaine-snorting, lying paid escort, most celebrities are normal folks … or, they’re like Amy Adams.

To end this Holiday Weekend gossip here’s a nice story about a celebrity …

Amy Adams was flying out of Detroit last week and she noticed that there was a uniformed soldier on the same flight. After asking about him, Adams quietly asked that he be given her seat in First Class and she’d take his seat in coach.

She wasn’t even trying to get press for this; it turns out that Jemele Hill, co-host of ESPN's Numbers Never Lie was on the same flight and Tweeted about it:

“Just saw actress Amy Adams do something incredibly classy. She gave her 1st class seat to an American soldier. I’m an even bigger fan now.”

Hill noted that Adams, whose father was in the military, spoke briefly with the solider before taking her seat in coach.

Of course, with Hill’s Tweet the story broke and when the plane landed at LAX a cameraman from Inside Edition asked Adams about it and she said:

“I didn’t do it for attention for myself. I did it for attention for the troops.” 

That’s all. Oh, and thanks Amy, that was a class act.