Oscar: A Few Highs to Some Mighty Lows

Okay, so the Gay Superbowl, AKA The Oscars has come and gone for another year and, well, I was less than impressed. The host wasn't much, the musical numbers, for the most part, were ho hum, and I kinda knew who would win and what they might say--except DDL and JLaw--before the show ever aired.
So, I'll give it Highs, and Lows, and some Medium Highs and Lows.
Let's rip....

High: Jennifer Hudson blowing the roof off the joint singing 'And I Am Telling You.' That's how it's done.
Medium High: Adele singing Skyfall all cool and slinky. And then being totally Adele-able when she won.
Medium: Dame Shirley Bassey and Goldfin-guh
Medium Low: Barbra Streisand, looking like she found her outfit during a garage sale at Cher's place, and not being in great voice.
Low: Catherine Zeta-Jones strutting around the stage, still riding the I Won An Oscar Train, and looking like she left her walker backstage.

High: Seth MacFarlane's Sock Puppet Flight.
Medium High: Seth MacFarlane and Sally Field.
Medium: Seth MacFarlane dancing with Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Daniel Radcliffe. Points for JGL cuteness.
Low: Seth MacFarlane dancing with Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron. I had kinda hoped Channing would do a Magic Mike for us, but, alas .....

High: Daniel Day-Lewis' touching, humble, grateful, funny speech as best Actor. I would'a paid to see his Thatcher and I would'a paid to see Streep's Lincoln. Plus, he made history, being the first male to win Best Actor three times; for My Left Foot, There Will Be Blood, and Lincoln.
Medium: Jennifer Lawrence's acceptance speech for Best Actress. She's usually more irreverent, but maybe that trip on the stairs knocked the spunk out of her. "You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that's embarrassing," Lawrence said to the standing ovation she received.
Low: Anne Hathway's mock surprise at winning. It's been a couple of months where everyone was saying she would win, so why the look of surprise. Next time just give us a 'Yeah, I got this' saunter up onstage, take the award, and go.

High: Jane Fonda, sleek and hot at seventy-something.
Medium: Jennifer Aniston looking like, well, Jennifer Aniston always looks. It's the Oscars, try something new!
Low: Kristen Stewart, looking like she'd just rolled out of bed and come to the show. It's the Oscars, bitch. Would it kill you to run a comb trough your hair and smile? I know, she had a sore ankle and was limping all over the place, but I heard it was because she'd fallen off her latest director.

High: Paul Epworth, co-winner with Adele for 'Skyfall,' looking cool and British and sexy.
Medium: Christoph Waltz, going nerdy sexy.
Low: Quentin  Tarantino, looking like he slept under his seat, accepting his Oscar. I get tired of him playing like he's the anti-Hollywood type when he's so plainly got his lips firmly pressed to Hollywood's ass.

High: Ben Affleck's speech. I am not an Affleck fan, but I thought his speech was touching. "I never thought I'd be back here .... It doesn't matter how you get knocked down in life, 'cause that's gonna happen. All that matters is you gotta get up."
Medium High The shade Rene Zellwegger was throwing at Zeta-Jones.
Medium Low: Some of those tech awards, with the guys with the heavy metal hair, who went on and on .... stop already.
Low: The appearance of John Travolta, free from any more groping accusations, for now, in an old Steven Seagal hairpiece with the pony tail chopped off.

High: Because I’m irreverent, this MacFarlane joke had me all giggling: “I would argue that the actor who really got inside Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth ... Too soon, huh? 150-years and it's still too soon?

Medium: Seth MacFarlane, the singer. While he has a nice voice, very 50s Sinatra lounge singer, his closing song, about the losers, seemed kinda wrong, even with Kristen Chenoweth.

Medium Low: Seth MacFarlane, the host; some jokes were good, while others fell flat. I cannot imagine he'll be asked back, though he did do one amazing thing that even Amy and Tina couldn't do at the Globes: he made Tommy Lee Jones smile!

Low: Channing Tatum and Jennifer Aniston honor, and I quote, "our incredible unsung heroes" which I thought meant the In Memoriam Death Parade, but they were talking about the heroes of the costume variety ilk. Heroes? Really?

Really Low: The playing of the Jaws theme if any winner overstayed their welcome at the podium. While I do like ‘em to get up, say thanks and get off, this was really rude, and not at all funny.

That's the recap.

It was part funny, and many parts not funny. There were no surprises, except maybe Ang Lee's win as Best Director; I'd thought it would go to Spielberg.

Seth was Meh. Actually, less than Meh. He's already said he won't be back, but he needn't have bothered saying so because about 5 minutes in i knew we'd seen the last of him.

What did YOU think?