A Grammy Stream Of Consciousness

They say if you can't sing, you should never sing live. And if you have to, well then, surround yourself with a circus sideshow experience so no one really pays attention to the fact that the only key you sing in is off-key .... 
Taylor Swift opened the show .... She will never ever ever ever be able to sing well .... LL Cool J is one piece of man candy but I really wished he'd stop licking his lips every two seconds .... And what was up with that speech? Was he running for office or something? Start the show already .... JT in the crowd always looks so full of himself .... Jack White in the crowd looks like one of the witches from the new Oz movie .... Ellen and Portia look cute .... Elton John must not be on diaper duty tonight because there he is singing 'A Team' with Ed Sheeran .... Lovely ....Pitbull and JLo .... 

JLo at the Grammys? Why? Is it because she's old enough to be her boy-toy's Grammy? .... And what's with that leg .... I didn't order a side of beef .... Did no one learn from Angelina or are they just trying to imitate?
BEST POP SOLO .... Adele .... Yay! Though, um, that dress was not working for me .... I love you, Adele .... 
I love to hear you accept an ward almost as much as I love to hear you sing .... PS Why didn't you sing? .... But that dress was a mistake .... NPH introduces fun. And they're really more like somber. .... Bonnie Raitt .... Love .... Won her 10th Grammy last night .... John Mayer .... Not so much .... Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bentley .... She’s okay he is just hot .... Miguel and Wiz Khalifa .... Miguel looks sexy and sings sexy and Wiz looks like he needs a bath .... Best Country Solo Performance .... Carrie Underwood .... One of the few American idol winners with an actual music career .... Predictable, but at least it wasn’t Swifty and her Gosh? Who? Me? .... Plus, a quick shot of cutie Hunter Hayes in the audience …. 

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw .... Faith looks way too thin and her teeth look kinda jacked .... A quick Google search reveals she’s wearing braces .... Okay .... Song Of The Year .... fun. .... Not really .... Johnny Depp .... Because when I think Grammy I think Depp .... Mumford and Sons .... Now that’s fun .... Ellen and Beyoncé .... One of these I like and one of these likes herself too much .... Justin Timberlake channeling Bruno Mars .... Did anyone else get that and, if you didn’t, wait a bit until you see the actual Bruno Mars and then you’ll get it .... Kelly Rowland and Nas .... Poor Kelly .... She Beyoncé–lite .... 

Best Urban Contemporary Album .... Frank Ocean beats Chris Brown .... Again .... He gets a standing o from everyone .... Except Chris Brown who puts and sulks and ALLEGEDLY went outside to beat up a valet .... Dave Grohl and CBS ‘star’ Pauley Perrette .... Best Rock Performance .... The Black Keys .... I like Bruce, but I’m glad the Keys took it .... Maroon 5 and Alicia Keys .... Rant: why have the same performers every year? We always get a Keys moment and a Maroon moment .... Mix it up .... Get some new blood .... Kaley Cuoco …. CBS ‘star’ …. 

And cutie Keith Urban .... Pop Vocal Album .... Kelly Clarkson .... Well, she’s fun and she ‘s real .... LL and the Tweets .... #EnoughAlready .... Rihanna .... Another Grammy standby .... But the girl just sang last night .... No wacky costumes or show .... Just sing .... Thanks for that .... Carly Rae Jepson and Ne-yo .... Who let these two in? .... Best Rap Song Collaboration .... Jay Z, Kanye, Frank Ocean and The Dream .... Jay Z is too cool to speak .... Yawn .... Kat Dennings .... CBS ‘star’ .... The Black Keys .... More fun than fun. .... Real music played live .... 

Kelly Clarkson sings ‘Tennessee Waltz’ and ‘Natural Woman’ proving she is one of the few singers today who can sing anything .... Best Country Album .... Zac Brown Band .... The tribute to Bob Marley .... Bruno Mars showing JT how it was done first and better .... Sting .... ‘Walking on the Moon’ .... Gosh, I miss The Police .... Rihanna .... Barely there vocals .... Ziggy and Damien Marley.... in dreads for days .... Great performance .... Taylor Swift in the crowd .... Possibly singing off-key again .... The Lumineers …. Best New Artist nominees and a possible critical darling .... Seemed a little Schoolhouse Rock to me .... Jack White performs .... He really needs to rethink the hairstyle ..... Katy Perry .... Nice to see her at the Grammys not singing .... Best New Artist .... fun. .... Not .... Hunter Hayes .... Cutie patootie ..... sings a bit and introduces Carrie Underwood .... 

Loved the song but is that the biggest skirt in the world .... Oh, it has to be because they’re showing a movie on it  .... Disconcerting .... And she gets a standing o but is it for the dress or the techno-couture? .... Prince .... Out of the crypt .... Record of the Year .... Gotye .... ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’ .... That song has grown on me this year .... A jazz break with a tribute to Dave Brubeck .... Ryan Seacrest and JT .... Two loathsome egos on one stage .... Elton is back for the In Memoriam song and a tribute to the victims of Sandy Hook .... ‘The Weight’ .... Zac Brown, Elton, Brittany Howard of Alabama Shakes, T-bone Burnett, Mumford & Sons,  and the brazilliant Mavis Staples .... love it .... Juanes sings a bit of Elton .... I met him once in Miami, so hot and so nice .... Frank Ocean .... Quiet and beautiful performance .... Adele .... 

Album of the Year .... Mumford & Sons .... Great ending, but then host and CBS ‘star’ LL Cool J finishes us off .... Almost literally .... with a rap performance .... A nice show, not a great show .... Some nice performance .... Rihanna .... Sting .... The Marleys .... Bruno .... Kelly .... Some not so great .... The Lumineers , Maroon 5, Alicia Keys and fun.  .... One horrid performance .... Taylor Swift .... Seriously. Stop. Singing.