PR11Ep2: ♫♪You Gotta Have Balls .... All You Really Need Is Balls♪♫

This week the designtestants are informed, to the shock and dismay of most, that they will stay on the same teams. Some are happy, like Team keeping It Real, because they won, and others are not, Dream Team because they still have James and Cindy. Just sayin’.

This week the challenge rules will be delivered at Spin, a table tennis club—for most of us that means Ping Pong—owned by, who knew, Oscar winner Susan Sarandon.  No joke. The designtestants will be designing five separate looks: four server outfits [three female, one male] and a little something for the, um, ball boy; it’s on his uniform that they must incorporate the club slogan, "Balls Are My Business".

Hey! I have that same slogan!

The winners will have their designs—which should be fashionable, exude fun and fit the upbeat environment of the club—manufactured and they will be worn in SPiN clubs across the country! First, though, they have to sling some drinks, run some food, and grab some balls; of the ping pong variety. It seemed odd, and, I’ll say it, stupid, to make them do this, but I guess it gave them a feel for what they might be doing career-wise when they don’t win this season. I’m looking at you, Tu; better learn how to work a tray, or come equipped with a broom and dustpan to pick up all the glasses you’ll drop.

That said….let’s rip:

KEEPING IT REAL: Winners again!

Amanda [l] and Kate & Patricia [r]

LAYANA AND DANIEL

It’s like Chip-n-Dale with these two, if Chip had a Pollyanna-complex and a wacky mustache and Dale had an accent. But, like a couple of designing Chipmunks, they do work well together.

Though it makes me giggle that FIT grad, and Oscar de la Renta intern, Layana, needs to ask for help from the self-taught Daniel. I’m guessing the money her parents shelled out for school went mostly into beer bongs.

Together they create a skort—yes, I said it—though their skort is utilitarian in that it also acts as an apron for the server. But the vest seems odd to me; I have this thing about anyone in a vest where the shirt can be seen at the bottom; it just looks like it doesn’t fit. And Daniel’s Ping Pong Ball Swoops also make it seem like the vest was constructed badly. I also don’t get fun, or edgy, or upbeat.

Guest judge, and SPiN owner, Susan Sarandon, loved the look, calling it sexy and practical. The AdorableZacPosen™ loved the formality of the T-shirt, but was also not a fan of the pinging and ponging asymmetry. Heidi liked it for being cute and sexy—I didn’t get sexy at all, but, well, it was a girl—while Nina Garcia called it charming—a better word than sexy—practical and adorable.

In the end, Layana got the top individual win—for the skort Daniel showed her how to make—so I hope he gets a Muffin basket r something from her.

An electric mustache trimmer would also be a nice Thank You gift.

STANLEY

He’s cute. He’s a little egotistical, but, the cuteness outweighs that …. for now.

He did have time management issues and, had he taken a minute or so longer to surge his shirt—and I have no idea what that means—his model would have gone down the runway topless. No great mistake, because it was a male model and he was hot, but, still, he needed a shirt.

I liked his look though, again, where was the fun and the upbeat. It was black, and black, and black, with a hint of an orange belt. But, it was urban and it was edgy and did have a Table Tennis-slash-Nightclub vibe to it—I’m guessing, because, again, I have no idea what that means.

Nina loved it edginess, and that it was fun and cool. Heidi thought it looked both modern and retro, and the AdorableZacPosen™ liked the cool pockets but was not a fan of the dropped crotch; the AdorableZacPosen™ likes to see junk and, well, I concur. Susan Sarandon thought it was cool and sexy and perfect for the club.

Stanley goes Second.

JOSEPH AND RICHARD

Richard toned down his giddy giggles this week, so I’ll give him props for that. Joseph, though, is kinda, as Tim Gunn would say that Michael Kors would say, a little wack-a-doodle. He wants to do polka dots—I guess because they look like balls—and talks about a sweater he made featuring, um, Mountains of Cats.

Now, I am, admittedly, a Cat Lady, but even I think that was too much.

Still, the two worked well and seemed like they got along, and were able to create a cool outfit. I loved the harness for the ball-catching contraption—and wonder where I can get a contraption to catch balls—and loved that Susan Sarandon said they’d wanted to use a back-pack-vacuum system like in Ghostbusters.

♫♪ I ain’t afraid of no balls ♪♫

But, I didn’t like the slogan on the pant pockets. It seemed too busy and didn’t fit in with the simplicity of the look. I loved the slogan on the T-shirt and loved that the T was oh-so-tight. Thank god for the DVR so I could have Pasha walk up and down and up and down again for me.

Heidi liked that the “Balls are my business” slogan appeared in the right spot on this outfit, and made reference to another look that had the slogan in the wrong place; the AdorableZacPosen™ say, “Or …. The right place.” He also liked the color-blocking and he did like the typography on the pant pockets.

Joseph and Richard are Third Place.

Dream Team: Losers again!

Michelle [l] and Tu & Samantha [r]

JAMES

He starts off by telling us that his team will do better now that the weak link is gone. James apparently never looks in a mirror. Plus, he’s still complaining that he bowed down to his team’s wishes last week and changed his design, so this week he’ll be having none of that team stuff, and collaboration stuff. He walks off and works alone and talks alone, and, well, not really a Spoiler Alert, goes Home Alone.

I see thunderheads in the future.

He starts off making a button-down short-sleeved shirt that will mimic the top of the Ping Pong Table, but what he shows Tim and his fellow Dream Team is some sort of maternity looking mess.  Tim calls it a construction disaster and James wonders why they don’t let him finish it and then decide.

Maybe, James, because you only have about fifteen minutes to create the look, eh?

And it looks like a Fifteen Minute Outfit. The T-shirt is awful; it doesn’t seem like it fits. And the shorts—can they really be called shorts at that length—are just wrong.

As he explains his look on the runway—something about nine times and logos and marketing—Nina’s eyes glaze over and for a moment I think he killed her with boredom. But, she comes to, and tells him she hates the short, unless they’re on a Cabana Boy bringing her a martini or the head of an Auf’d designer. Susan Sarandon doesn’t think it looks like a server’s outfit, and Heidi is grossed out by the tank top; she ordered Potato Skins, not Hairy Pits. The AdorableZacPosen™ hated the whole thing, saying the top looked ‘messy.’

So, James, who works alone, and makes bland clothes alone, got the Auf’ing he deserved. His look wasn’t hideous, but it was boring, and in fashion, that’s worse.

BENJAMIN AND CINDY 

Benjamin and Cindy don’t work well together. Benjamin manages, Cindy manages to complain. Their personalities don’t mesh and their separate pieces for the same outfit were just as wrong.

Cindy, who started off playing the Little Old Lady From Kent Washington Who Used To See Dead People turned into a Mean Girl this week. All we got was pouty face and complaints about being ‘micro-managed’ by Benjamin. Even after she told him, and he said he’d back away, she kept on talking and talking and talking. It was like she thought he was dead or something ….. Hey!

Cindy also kept playing the Weakest Link card, and acting like it was just rude that people might think that of her, but two weeks in a  row she’s made really sad looking clothes. Of course, it didn’t help that Benjamin’s shorts were bad; why these designers continue to make pants or shorts with penis room at the crotch is beyond me.

 Benjamin, though, played up his time in management and spent so much time managing that he scarcely had time to create the two lonely pieces he created. Their look was sad—every single designer missed the fun and upbeat memo it seems—and a little too, as Heidi so eloquently said, ‘receptionist at a hotel …. In the suburbs.’

Yeow! But then, even  Tim called Benjamin and Cindy's creation "wack-a-doodle."

Heidi said the outfit proved they were both good at sewing, but, um, design? Not so much. Susan Sarandon called it toned down and sad, while Nina Garcia said it looked like they’d ordered it from a dated catalogue. The AdorableZacPosen™ said it was wrong for the challenge and wrong for the venue; it looked nothing like anything someone might wear to a Ping Pong Club—again, I have no idea what that means.

Benjamin began talking at this point, and talking about being a manager and how he had his hand in every design. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to save himself from saying he did too much, or throw himself under the buss by saying he did too much.

In the end, Suburban Hotel receptionist gets a pass.

BENJAMIN AND MATTHEW 

Matthew tells us he’s a dancer turned painter turned fashion designer. I say the boy just can’t make up his mind. He volunteers to make a pair of jeans—because, apparently, the servers would want a pair of jeans that they could get at any store on any block in any town around the world.

How.Innovative.

But then, Tim calls him out on the Jeans? Really? And Michelle utters something about a kilt and suddenly the kilt is on. Now, I liked the idea of the kilt. It’s fun and edgy and it could be very New York; plus, as Matthew said, it is kinda freeballing, so there’s that. Plus, if a guy as hot as Model Matt came up to me in a club and asked what he could get me, well, I see an arrest in my future.

Still, the “Balls are my business” slogan right over Model Matt’s Business Balls was a mistake. Leaving it off wouldn’t have saved him, but it might have gotten him more compliments. But ‘Straight Boy Servers’ might have taken an issue with the kilt, or, as they would see it, skirt.

Susan Sarandon said the guys who work for her would never wear it, but she thought it was ‘ballsy.’ Indeed! The AdorableZacPosen™ kind of liked the kilt—possibly for the same reasons I liked it—but was hating on the Ball Slogan On The Balls. He also thought there was too much going on: kilt, badly placed slogan, tank top, mesh tank top. It was a lot of not good. Nina appreciated the provocative nature of the kilt, but felt Benjamin and Matthew missed the mark and forgot they wear presenting to a ‘real’ client.

MY TAKE

In this Team Season a lot of the designers get lost in the shuffle if they don’t go Top or Bottom; like Tu, for example. I don’t know how he is as a designer, but I know that I should never order a bottled beer from him and expect it to reach my table.

More male models who undress in the workroom. What? You know how shallow I am when it comes to Man Candy.

Benjamin dodged a bullet since he had a hand in two of the worst of the worse.

I like Michelle’s designs—though the color was puke.

I liked the kilt. I mean, come on, it’s a Ping Pong Club in New York! A kilt might be cool.

It took balls for James to say, "We should have communicated better" on the runway when he was the guy who didn’t communicate at all. 

Patricia is getting a little ‘What about me?!?’ in the workroom, but, well, I took a shot every time she said ‘leggin’s’ and I drunk halfway through the show.

Cindy needs to stop the Poor Little Old funeral Lady act. And stop pouting.

Joseph and Richard, aka The Walnut, should have won. Their look was edgy and fun, while Daniel and Layana’s was, well, safe, and, in my mind, ill-fitting.

I am stuck on my crush on the AdorableZacPosen™, though I wouldn’t mind being in a sandwich with Zac and Stanley. Just sayin’. Freeballing. Again, just sayin’.

What did YOU think?