I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Serial dater, out-of-tune-auto-tuned singer, Taylor Swift is being sued.

No, silly, not by a boyfriend she dumped and then wrote a song about. And not because someone, i.e. me, said she can’t sing, but because she kinda kept $2.5 million that wasn’t really hers.

The lawsuit claims that Swifty was paid $2.5 million amount to perform at something called the Capital Hoedown in Ottawa, in August 2012. The show was eventually cancelled but Swifty—needing stalker money because she was on to a new fella—kinda forgot to return the money.

I hate when that happens.

The lawsuit says Swifty was paid up front, so now the ticket company, which had to refund $1.8 million in ticket sales, thinks she should be responsible for the bill.

I think her fans …. fan? …. Should be glad they got their money back, though, of course, now we’ll get another Swifty tune about Canada and Taylor breaking up because of 2.5 million reasons.

They’re on, they’re off. They’re both a couple of fools.

After appearing so snuggly at the Grammys, maybe Rihanna and Chris Brown are through …. again. Or, maybe they’re just in desperate need of seeing their faces in the news.

Anyway, Rihanna and Chris ignored each other one night last week while they both partied at the Playhouse Nightclub in Los Angeles. A source—and I’d say it was Lindsay but I don’t think she can afford airfare from NYC to LA just yet—says Rihanna didn’t even know that Chris would be there, and when asked by nightclub hosts if she wanted to be seated with her man, she turned them down and demanded to be seated elsewhere.

Of course, Brown, who’s a douche, saw Rihanna sitting far away from him and made a big deal of making his presence known to her; I think he punched a girl or maybe threw a chair, or maybe called someone a faggot. His usual MO, you know.

But it seems that she was ignoring him, not just because she’s a twelve-year-old girl, but because earlier in the week Brown was ALLEGEDLY seen partying in West Hollywood with ALLEGED ex Karrueche Tran.

So, she got pissy because he’s hanging and banging the ex, and he got pissy because she ignored him. But a so-called fan got pissy because she keeps going back to him, and, as Rihanna was leaving yet another nightclub—this time in London—some crazy guy threw a bottle at her, while shouting at her for hooking back up with Bruiser Brown.

It’s tough to be Rihanna; the guy who beat you up ignores you, and the fans who hate you for hooking back up with the guy who beat you up, throw garbage at you.

It’s quite clear that Dina Lohan loves having Lindsay close by these days—I mean, since we learned that Lindsay is dead broke, and even her porn movie is unwatchable. Picture that house, with Lindsay cracked behavior and Dina’s public drunkenness. It’s like Animal House only more White Trash.

But, maybe Lindsay won’t be broke for long, if Mama Pimp Dina has anything to say about it. It seems that money hungry Lindsay is asking for $500,000 to come to Dubai and promote a new energy drink; now, let’s be clear, we all know that’s code for ‘Lindsay’s a whore and wants 500K before she bangs a Middle Eastern guy.

A source—and Dina was paid in shots of tequila—says, “Lindsay wants $500k for an appearance in Dubai to promote Mr. Pink’s Ginseng Energy Drink, which executives at the company are balking at. Mr. Pink is prepared to offer the actress $200k, and would pay for all of LiLo’s travel expenses.”

200K? For Lohan? Maybe she’s banging the executive staff at Mr. Pink, too?

But her plans could be derailed because Dubai has strict rules about allowing convicted criminals—drug smugglers, jewelry thieves, and crack whores—into their country. And since Lohan is still on probation for the jewel heist, she may not be able to whore herself for an, um, ‘energy drink’.

Shia LaBeouf was all set to make his Broadway debut in Daniel Sullivan’s Orphans until, um, that old chestnut “creative differences” got in the way; this time creative differences means Shia fought with everyone, including, ALLEGEDLY a wall.

And, as happens in these days of over-social-mediazation—Okay, so I made a word up—Shia used Twitter to, oops, leak a series of email exchanges between himself and his former orphans Sullivan and co-star Alec Baldwin.

But, it wasn’t the Tweets that had people buzzing; it was Shia’s heartfelt apology to the production, in which he wrote:  "A man can tell you he was wrong. What he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering."

How touching.

And especially touched by Shia’s words was one Tom Chiarella, who wrote them first in a piece for Esquire entitled ‘What Is A Man?’ In fact, Shia’s letter was an entire verbatim quote from Chiarella’s piece.

And Chiarella has written about Shia’s misappropriation of his words:  "A man who's been plagiarized must be graceful and grateful that your words have power. A man who plagiarized just owes an acknowledgment and a one-sentence apology. But I don't expect it."

Shia LaBeouf ought to read, and not copy, ‘What Is A Man?’

Okay, so more Lohan Wackness.

One week, I posted about Lohan attending an amFAR benefit in a Roberto Cavalli gown, and how Charlie Sheen got stylist Phillip Bloch to dress here. A clarification first: the dress Lohan wore was a Theia gown .... Now, on to business.

Charlie offered to pay for half the dress—it cost about $1800 if Lindsay would pay the other half, but as broke as she is, she couldn’t buy her own Altoids, so she asked to borrow the long sparkly gown. She said it made her feel like Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins all in one night. 

Trouble is, while she couldn’t afford to pay for half the dress, after her night out, Lohan only returned half the dress. The bottom half she cut off with a pair of scissors.

A source—and you know it’s Bloch because The Gays love to dish—says, “She said that the dress had ripped [at a club after the fundraiser] — she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress. [And] she turned it into a mullet!”

And all because she was out clubbing—just where a recovering drug addict and alcoholic needs to be—and it was ripped. Hmm, wouldn’t the normal thing be to, oh, I dunno, take the dress off, and wear something else? Or, is the Normal Lohan Thing to do is to take a pair of scissors to a dress you don’t own and cut it to shreds?

Sounds like Charlie may have to buy the whole, now half dress, or maybe Bloch will sue Lindsay and maybe Lindsay will steal a car and run him over; or better yet, borrow a car and return it without the tires.

That’s our Lohan!