Saturday, November 05, 2011

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

What would a week be without Lohan? Dull, that's what.
Lindsay Lohan, cracktress and wacktress, was back in court this week, sentenced to thirty days, which may become six days, and will more likely be about an hour, behind bars....which is different from being under them, but I digress.
Lohan was given until November 9 to turn herself in because, indeed, she has a job. Or better to call it a do-over. See, Lohan posed nekkid for Playboy as couple of weeks back, but then Hugh Hefner got a look-see at the pictures, vomited a little, realized Lohan had already spent the check on crack and vodka, and demanded a reshoot. 
Lindsay's calling them "additional" photos, but the good people at Playboy having quietly burned all the negatives from the crackled first shoot and are re-deciding on a "theme".
My suggestion? Crack-whore gets nude.
And the world trembles with revulsion.

There's nothing like turning seventeen and facing your first paternity suit, is there?
Star Magazine--that bastion of professional journalism--is reporting that a 20-year-old grown woman named Mariah Yeater is suing The Biebs because he sperminated her in a coat closet at the Staples Center last year, and now she's given birth to a BiebsBaby.
Yeater doesn't want a lot of money, just child support, you know, and demands that Bieber take a paternity test, and says, in a hand-written sworn affidavit, that one of Bieber's bodyguards came up to her during his show asked if she wanted to go backstage: "After waiting for a short period of time with several young women, Justin Bieber appeared and engaged me in conversation. Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.
After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone -- a bathroom. We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.
In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything. He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds."
Thirty seconds to make a BabyBiebs?
Hmmm, let's see how this plays out.

It's funny that LeAnn Rimes, who cheated on her husband with another woman's husband, and then dumped her husband so she could marry her adulterous boyfriend when he dumped his wife, is now all enraged that her husband's ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, called LeAnn "overbearing".
Really LeAnn
You schtupped her husband while he was married, but her calling you overbearing on a TV show sends you into a TwitRage?
LeAnn said, during her Twitter Hissy Fit: “I am his WIFE & their ‘bonus mom’ and it’s out of line after 3 years to continually discuss. Negativity does not help kids. Go promote your show if that’s what you’re really there to do.”
Then she TwitAdded: "I however will not be lied about. Obviously we are not in a good place like has been claimed and it’s not good for the kids. I’d like to see some resolve, but that doesn’t look like its happening anytime soon. #hopeforthebest.”
Um, LeAnn? there is no such thing as a "bonus" mom. You're a step-mother and will always be a stepmother, at least until, and when, Eddie Cibrian holds true to form and bangs another actress on a movie set and then dumps you.
Karma's a bitch, LeAnn. 
And a bigger bitch than you.

You gotta love it when celebrities try to take the high road and end up shooting themselves in the foot. or, in the case of fame-whore- and liar, Kim Kardashian, they shoot themselves in their large fat ass.
See, even though Kim's marriage to Kris Humphries lasted a few weeks, the duo did have a pre-nuptial agreement, the details of which are now being made public. And it's becoming clear that Kim, and all her k-k-family are a bunch of lying, money-grubbing whores.
Kim and Kris shared no property during their marriage because they scarcely had time to buy a salad before it was over, so there is no need to talk about property settlements. They also share no assets, well, except for a little something called profits made from the wedding. 
Liar say what? Fame-whore say what?
A source--and by source you know it's she-male Khloe....who told wedding guests during the reception that the marriage would last six months--says, “Anything earned during the marriage, [Kim] keeps. Kris does not receive any of Kim’s money” as part of the divorce settlement.
However, the source, er, Khloe, does say that the pre-nup allows Humphries to “hefty profits from [the couple’s] E! wedding special,” which is bringing he and Kim a major windfall. The happy heteros got 30% of the revenue from every commercial that aired when the show was broadcast around the world to fifty some-odd countries.
Odd, isn't it, that the couple had it written to their pre-nuptial agreement in advance that they’d split profits from the wedding, but absolutely none of the k-k-family will own up to it.
It was a sham from beginning to end, for ratings and publicity and cash, and anyone who thinks otherwise might as well just cut a check to the Kardashian's now.
Sidenote: after announcing her intention to divorce her hubby, Kim jetted off to Australia to promote her know make some money. But the laughable part was when she was asked why she didn't cancel the trip, this moron said she wanted to keep her commitment to her fans.
She didn't want to keep a commitment to her husband, but to her fans. That speaks volumes about what matters most to that whole family.


froggy said...

The roundup of immaturity and irresponsibility is stunning.

JustAMike said...

Is it true that the mother of BiebSpawn may be investigated for Statutory Rape by LA County Sheriff's dept? You seem to have the inside track and inquiring minds want to know!

Anonymous said...

Biebs isn't the father until Maury tells him he's the father.

Anonymous said...

Regarding the statutory rape thing, in Cali it's only misdemeanor & up to 1 year in jail if you have sex with a minor that's three years or less than you.

Anonymous said...

I have to wonder what caused the split up. I do find Kris rather attractive. I wonder if he had some skeletons in his closet?

But the reality is she probably got caught fucking one of the staff.

Cubby said...

Who would want to make a baby with the Bieb? That's icky.

Tivo Mom said...

why would the biebs f**k her (or the sh*t out of her)? She ain't that purty. Just sayin.