Saturday, November 26, 2011

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Kash Kow Kardashian is working overtime to repair her damaged, money grubbing, whore yourself out, get married for money image. And man, if she worked this hard every day, she wouldn't need to be a money grubbing, whore yourself out, get married for money Kash Kow.
So, how does KK repair her image?
Slap on some makeup and pose with a homeless dude while dishing up soup at the Los Angeles Mission Thanksgiving Dinner.And then spend a bit of time posing alongside that other famous media whore, Jennifer Love Hewitt. And, to finish off all her hard 'work', Kash Kow managed to squeeze in an interview with People, to tell them how much she cares about family and holidays and marriages that are finished by dessert.
All of which plays into the KK plan to revamp her image from money grubbing, whore yourself out, get married for money dumbass to victim.
Yup, KK is a victim. She and her fame-whoring family, mom Kris, and step-mother, Bruce, are painting Kris Humphries, KK's husband-for-a-minute, as a bully. They're saying he called KK a fat-ass--um, she is--and said some rather homophobic things about one of KK's close hangers-on, and are now saying Kash Kow is an innocent woman who spends her free time doing charity work for the homeless.
As much as she whores herself out, and apparently knows her product, does Kash Kow really think anyone will buy her as an Innocent victim?

Katie Holmes famously declared over the summer that her daughter is "an amazing athlete, singer and dancer." Now, apparently, Suri Cruise will be a published author. Odd, since Suri can't be bothered to attend school during New York Fashion Week, or at least her mother can't stand to see the shows alone.
So, you see, education isn't exactly Suri's strongsuit, in her parent's eyes at least, but she's "written " a book. And her parents think the children's book Suri "wrote" is so good, that they are demanding it be published upon completion, or else face the wrath of Xenu. And, as she is the most amazing child ever, in addition to "writing" the book, Suri is also doing all the illustrations.
The story will be a trilogy, starting with Help! My Father's A Wingnut, followed by Help! My Mother's A Robot, and ending with Help!
Or something like that.

Oh that JLo.
She's such a homegirl. 
As long as the home is in California.
Y'all remember JLo's Fiat commercial--and I don't mean her performance at the American Music Awards, which was an extended Fiat commercial. But the real commercial?
Well, that commercial where JLo was seen cruising around the Bronx and talking about the old neighborhood and how it inspired her to become big and to keep it real, was faked. JLo never left California. A body double, with a double-sized ass, was used in the scenes filmed on Jenny's block.
In the ad, when JLo says, "This is my world. This place inspires me....They may be just streets to you, but to me, they’re a playground”....she's 3,000 miles away from there.
There was no way Jenny was going back to the block.

Hmmm, you marry a woman who's nickname is CoKate and you think she'll stop partying?
Not gonna happen.
Supermodel, and super-party-monster, Kate Moss married Jamie Hince over the summer and promised that they would leave London and the drunk-and-drug lifestyle Kate was used to, and move to the country.
Didn't happen.
And now the marriage is in trouble, so let's break it down:
She's a hard partying razor thin model who has pictures of her snorting cocaine slapped all over the media in the past. And because her husband is off playing with the band, she's ALLEGEDLY drinking even more.
He plays in the band The Killers with his ex-wife, with whom he spends a great deal of time. And because his new wife won't move to the country, stop drinking and have a baby, he's hanging with the ex more and more.
Yeah, this marriage has success written all over it.

If you're the "star" of a show called Project Accessory would you ever leave your house without an accessory?
Forget your purse?
Your earrings?
A watch, a belt?
Your shoes?
Perhaps not, but if you Molly Sims, host of the PA--a drowsy knockoff of the PR--you might leave your house without putting on a most necessary accessory.
Your eyebrows.
Okay, they're there, but they're really light.
Girl needs to keep at least one accessory handy at all times, in case this happens again:
A Sharpie.


Jim said...

What? No Lindsay Lohan fix this weekend?
C'mon man!

R.J. said...

It's a stretch to play the victim, let alone an "actress", when you pimp out a 79% interest credit card in your spare time.

froggy said...

I wonder how it works in the food kitchen with the star's entourage and photographers?

mistress maddie said...

Do I remember Jlo's Fiat commercial? I'm still wondering how they got her big ASS in it! And Molly sooooo need a drag queen as a friend...... and finally, would it have hurt Kash Kow Kim to give time AND a fat check to the shelter from the Kash Kow??????