Grammy Musings

First off, I'm old, because, a lot of the time during the show, I was like, Who's that? 

And, one time, that was Mick Jagger, looking rather old, but still rather spry. I mean, he had more energy than Justin Bieber, that kid with the hair.

Now, the show started off strong enough, with a tribute to Aretha, no last name needed. 

Christina redeemed herself, you know, by remembering all the words, although there is some YouTube footage of her taking a tumble as the song ended. I hope it was  a simple slip, and not the Beginnings Of A Britney Meltdown.

Christina sang alongside Yolanda Adams--Thanks to DavidDust for setting me queer on that as I first called her Oleta Adams, though I was also thinking Morticia Adams!--who never met a riff or run she didn't want to take, and Martina MacBride, who seemed as out of place as I would be at an Eminem concert. Florence Something-or-other, of Florence + The Machine, who, well, let's just move along. But, saving the day was my girl, Jennifer Hudson. JHud looked f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s and sounding amazing. She showed them other girls how it's done. 

There's talk of a movie based on Aretha's life. theer's talk of Halle Berry...I know!...playing Aretha. Note to producers: look no further and sign JHud now.

Uh huh.

The big moment :::yawn::: arrived when Gaga came out in the egg like a 21st century Mork. 

I found the whole thing uninspired. I found the song a little meh. People say it's a knock-off of some old Madonna number, well, I dunno about that, I just know it wasn't as great as the hype. Plus, her, um, for lack of a better word, dancing? Herky...followed quickly by...jerky. Don't get me wrong, Gaga can sing, but this wasn't as good, or as big, as the hype.

Ryan Seacrest is on every show and he's annoying on every show.

Bruno Mars is pretty and tiny. He's the perfect Pocket Gay...not that he's gay, I mean, I don't know, it's just that he's so pretty.

Dierks Bentley is hot.

Justin Bieber can't sing. Usher is an ego in leather. Jaden Smith is....wait....WTF is Jaden Smith doing there?

Doesn't Miley Cyrus have enough money not to dress like trailer trash wearing motel drapes as a dress?

Jamie Foxx is an ass.

Cee-lo. Really? Muppets? Paltrow? Whose acid trip idea was this?

Why, and not that I mind, but I'm just asking, why does NPH make an appearance on every single awards show ever? Just last week, he was a presenter at the Smallville Pie Eating Contest. Seriously.

I don't get Katy Perry. Why are her eyes too big for her head? No, really, next time you see her, look at her eyes. They take up 30% of her melon....and I don't mean melons.  

Keith Urban is hot.

Norah Jones is fantastic.

John  Mayer is over.

Poor Barbra Streisand. The Voice is nowhere near what it was once.

Skeletor and JLo. He rambles. She looked pissed. And, her hair extensions look like something she picked up on the side of the road. As in roadkill.

Why does Rihanna get two songs? I mean, a double Dose of Rihanna, when a Single Dose is Two Times more than anyone needs?

After some 14 hours of so-so performances, we finally got some music that was cool and made me wanna get up out my chair and dance around the living room.

Of course, it was a group I'd never heard of, which makes me wonder, do they play any real, good, music in South Carolina?

See, this was good.

This was Arcade Fire.

And then they go and win Album of the Year. Streisand seemed stunned when she announced their win. But they did.

Arcade Fire, baby.