Snarky Thoughts

The Famewhore of Stupid Fashion—remember the couch she wore to the Met Gala?—Kim Kardastrophe is back with a brilliant [sarcasm font] new idea: Swim Gloves. It’s socks for your hands! It’s … it’s … it’s stupid, and to be fair Kimmy K didn’t invent swim gloves—they’ve been around and used for swimming and surfing and such—but Kimmy wants y’all to believe you need a pair of her special $48 evening swim gloves to “elevate your swim look.” Note, however, that Kimmy’s t-shirt and too-small thong swim combo cannot be elevated by the gloves.

My Thought: I wish she could elevate her IQ, and I also liked her better when she was trying to make the full-on face mask a thing.

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Not so very long ago Ben Affleck said he would never play Batman again, but apparently he’s had a change of heart and has left his Honeymoon World Tour starring Jennifer Lynn Affleck to head back to LA to shoot a Bat cameo in Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.

My Thought: #1] it costs major coins to keep JLo happy and the paycheck and press from Batman might do the trick … for a few weeks, anyway.

And B] he needed to get away form all that honeymoon work.

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Here we are, four months after The Slap heard ‘Round The World™ and Will Smith has posted a video apologizing to Chris Rock for his actions at the 2022 Oscars. Will’s YouTube vided clocks it at over five minutes and he reveals that Rock’s people say Chris is not ready to talk.

My thought: you thought you were man ALLEGEDLY protecting your wife’s honor, but you aren’t man enough to face Chris Rock and apologize in person? Jada’s balls are bigger than Will’s.

PS Whoever sat you in front of that white light has to be laughing at how foolish it makes you look.

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As you may recall, we talked last week about Kylie Jenner and Drake joining that Fly Private Anywhere and Everywhere Club, and now we have another self-entitled, self-involved, unaware AKA stupid celebrity who is also flying short distances because driving an hour in the car is just too hard. Amirite, TayTay? Swifty has flown private 170 times since January, with a time in the air of about 16 days. Her total flight emissions for the year come in at 8,293.54 metric tons which is … wait for it … it’s stunning … 1,184.8 times more than the average person’s total annual emissions.

My Thought: Taylor clearly thinks her time is so much more precious than yours and what does she care if she fucks the planet.

PS Jay-Z, A-Rod, Steven Spielberg, Floyd Mayweather—whose plane took the shortest flight at just ten minutes, Blake Shelton, Marky Mark, Travis Scott  and Oprah Winfrey also made the list.

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