Saturday, August 06, 2022

Snarky Thoughts

The Famewhore of Stupid Fashion—remember the couch she wore to the Met Gala?—Kim Kardastrophe is back with a brilliant [sarcasm font] new idea: Swim Gloves. It’s socks for your hands! It’s … it’s … it’s stupid, and to be fair Kimmy K didn’t invent swim gloves—they’ve been around and used for swimming and surfing and such—but Kimmy wants y’all to believe you need a pair of her special $48 evening swim gloves to “elevate your swim look.” Note, however, that Kimmy’s t-shirt and too-small thong swim combo cannot be elevated by the gloves.

My Thought: I wish she could elevate her IQ, and I also liked her better when she was trying to make the full-on face mask a thing.

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Not so very long ago Ben Affleck said he would never play Batman again, but apparently he’s had a change of heart and has left his Honeymoon World Tour starring Jennifer Lynn Affleck to head back to LA to shoot a Bat cameo in Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.

My Thought: #1] it costs major coins to keep JLo happy and the paycheck and press from Batman might do the trick … for a few weeks, anyway.

And B] he needed to get away form all that honeymoon work.

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Here we are, four months after The Slap heard ‘Round The World™ and Will Smith has posted a video apologizing to Chris Rock for his actions at the 2022 Oscars. Will’s YouTube vided clocks it at over five minutes and he reveals that Rock’s people say Chris is not ready to talk.

My thought: you thought you were man ALLEGEDLY protecting your wife’s honor, but you aren’t man enough to face Chris Rock and apologize in person? Jada’s balls are bigger than Will’s.

PS Whoever sat you in front of that white light has to be laughing at how foolish it makes you look.

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As you may recall, we talked last week about Kylie Jenner and Drake joining that Fly Private Anywhere and Everywhere Club, and now we have another self-entitled, self-involved, unaware AKA stupid celebrity who is also flying short distances because driving an hour in the car is just too hard. Amirite, TayTay? Swifty has flown private 170 times since January, with a time in the air of about 16 days. Her total flight emissions for the year come in at 8,293.54 metric tons which is … wait for it … it’s stunning … 1,184.8 times more than the average person’s total annual emissions.

My Thought: Taylor clearly thinks her time is so much more precious than yours and what does she care if she fucks the planet.

PS Jay-Z, A-Rod, Steven Spielberg, Floyd Mayweather—whose plane took the shortest flight at just ten minutes, Blake Shelton, Marky Mark, Travis Scott  and Oprah Winfrey also made the list.

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21 comments:

  1. I guess KK has no idea how deformed her ass looks. The only way Will would apologize in person would be if it was on stage in front of sold-out audience in an arena. I also understand Ben has a bit of a gambling problem.

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    1. Kimmy and Will are just for show. Ben is gonna crash and burn. And the self-entitled nitwits will burn the planet if they don't have to drive.

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  2. Sad but true; those swim gloves highlight the fat bulges on Klueless' backside.

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  3. The Oscar slap is old news now, yet Will Smith is seeking out more publicity because of it. My guess is that both his and his wife's careers are taking a major hit due to it and he's trying a new round of mea culpa damage control in an effort to salvage things.

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    1. Damage control for the public when what he needs to do is apologize in private.

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  4. Those celebrities clearly don't give a fig about the harm they cause to this planet. Mind you my own "emissions" after a vegetarian chilli meal probably exceed Taylor Swift's tally.

    Regarding K.K's thong being far too small - you are right! I enlarged that photo to check your observation.

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    1. I don't know what to say about you enlarging Kim's posterior. I had no idea that was even possible.

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    2. My main focus was the anterior.

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  5. Kim (I don't want to spell the whole thing) looks like one of Sid's misshapen dolls from Toy Story. Her top doesn't match her bottom. Oh, please let that be sand on her ass and not the stuff it resembles!
    Until I read 'white light' I thought Will Smith was wearing a weird hat. Damn, between seeing that and Kim's 'butt spunk' I really do need to get my eyes checked! Long overdue!
    8,293.54 metric tons of flight emissions! Tay-Tay, lay off the burritos!
    I have nothing intelligent to say, but then again, neither do these guys.

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    1. What you said was perfection and I am here for it!

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  6. Anonymous11:25 AM

    The Ks continue to astonish with
    their stupidity!
    xoxo :-)

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    Replies
    1. Egos as big as their asses.
      xoxo

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  7. I hate to break it to Kimmie, but Patrick Church beat her to the swim gloves.

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    1. Yeah, sadly her legion of Minion Morons will believe she "invented" them. You can't fix stupid, but you can give it a giant ass.

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  8. aussieguy1:23 PM

    Yeah, I chose to sell my plane after WalMart wouldn’t allow me to land in their parking lot, even though the 10 minute drive was killing me. The only thing KK could wear to improve her looks would be a burlap bag. Over her entire body. And now the poor girl doesn’t even have Pete anymore. Sob. Will Smith has been a shit show for so long, as well as the rest of his f’ed up family I’m surprised anyone even cares anymore. Extra helpings of snark please!

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  9. Self-centred so and so's the lot of them.

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  10. Wow.... a-hole round up this week. Kim has gone full Madonna desperate. That's what happens when there are seven other people on the planet who look exactly like you. They really need to diversify their plastic surgeons. Will is the worst human being on the planet, but then... Taylor Swift. It just never ends... sigh.

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  11. Those swim gloves are ridiculous. I guess they're supposed to protect an expensive manicure?

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