I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I sometimes wish these divorcing celebrities would take the high road, and divorce peacefully and privately and amicably, but then who the hell would I talk about, amirite?

Dr. Dre has been in a contentious divorce battle with soon-to-be-when-the-money-issues-are-resolved-ex-wife Nicole forever. The once-happy couple was married for over 24 years before Nicole filed for divorce and the messiness started.

Nicole claimed Dre tore up their prenup in a romantic gesture and so she wanted $2 million a month in spousal support. Well, Dre wasn’t keen on cutting a $24 million yearly check, so he brought the prenup back. Then he had an aneurysm and apparently felt bad, so he coughed up $2 million to Nicole for expenses. When he recovered, Nicole threw down the Cheating Gauntlet and tried to subpoena Dre’s ALLEGED mistresses over houses he ALLEGEDLY bought them, and the gloves were off again.

Now the ball is in Dre’s court and so what does he do? He recorded a diss track where he talks smack Nicole cuz that’s how grown folk act:

Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury

I see you trying to f**k me while I’m in surgery

In ICU death bed on some money shit

Greedy bitch take a pic

Girl you know how money get.

Isn’t that lovely? And just think how his children will feel hearing their father talk this way about their mother.

And how they’ll feel when Nicole decides to respond in kind.

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I haven’t read Mariah Carey’s memoir because, well, simply put Mariah Carey, but apparently her family is a hot mess—she ALLEGES that her older sister Alison, who was arrested for prostitution in 2016, drugged a twelve-year-old Mariah and tried to sell her to a pimp.

No, not Tommy Mottola.

Mariah also had stories about a violent incident ALLEGEDLY involving her “ex-brother” Morgan which has caused him to sue his, I guess, ex-sister for defamation and “intentional infliction of emotional distress.”  Morgan says Mariah’s book “damaged his reputation” and he needs coins to make it all better.

In his legal fling, Morgan ALLEGES Mariah damaged his reputation when she wrote about a violent struggle he had with their father:

“It took twelve cops to pull my brother and father apart. The big bodies of men, all entangled like a swirling hurricane, crashed loudly into the living room.”

Well, first off: I’m’a file suit against Mimi for the line the “big bodies of men, all entangled like a swirling hurricane.” I mean, that hurt my ears beyond repair. But, back at the lawsuit: in the book Mimi says Morgan “pushed my mother with such force that her body slammed into the wall, making a loud cracking sound.”

Morgan says both accounts are lies, though he says any “actual fights with his father never happened when Mariah was a child” and that “there’s no way 12 cops would respond to a domestic violence report.”  He also says there’s no way he would have ever hurt his mother because he loves her; oh, and because tons of people witnessed the “deep affection” between him and his mother. He even claims Mimi contradicted herself in the book when she recounted her mother once saying, “Morgan is the only one I love.”

Morgan’s action calls for the payment of unspecified damages, and seeks “a judicial determination that many of the passages in [the memoir] … are false and defamatory”. It claims the book caused Morgan “serious damage to his reputation and to his personal and business affairs” and “extreme mental anguish”, and that it negatively affected negotiations for a feature film he was developing.

But it all goes away when the coins come his direction.

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This week Alec Baldwin decided he needed more attention and Tweeted a link to a CNN article entitled “Gillian Anderson’s American accent throws some people off”. It was about how Gillian Anderson bounces between her British and American accents.

Kinda like Alec’s esposa, er, wife, Hilaria Hillary, who goes back and forth between her native Spanish and her more native English? Y’all remember the kerfuffle when we learned that Hillary Baldwin is not from Spain and has been pretending to be Spanish for years, even though she was born and raised in New England?

But Alec missed the mark here because, while Gillian Anderson was born in Chicago, shortly after her birth, her family moved to London, where they lived until she was 11 years old. After that, they returned to America, but still summered in London.  So, clearly Alec saw imagined similarities between Anderson and Hillary but, to be fair, Gillian has never pretended to be from England, never acted as though she couldn’t pronounce an American English word, and didn’t say things like “lift” and “bangers and mash” because she was faking her ancestry.

And so, Twitter, and Gillian Anderson fans, came for Alec and read him so badly for filth that he once again claimed social media is for haters—but not when he uses it—and he’s done with it; again. And then he posted a nearly ten-minute-long video on Instagram bitching about the haters:

“Wanted to post a quick video to say that I deactivated my Twitter account today.”

But he clearly kept his Instagram because where else can he seek attention. In the video, Alec does not name Gillian by name but explained about his stupid Tweet:

“I just wrote, ‘Oh, that’s interesting.’ And of course, you can’t do any irony on Twitter—you can’t do any irony in the United States anymore because the United States is such [an] uptight, stressed-out place and such an unpleasant place right now.”

He goes on to say he’s a “huge fan” of Anderson’s and didn’t mean to offend her, but found it similar that both Gillian and his wife—who, remember, even changed the spelling of her name to pretend to be Spanish—are influenced by different cultures:

“But I find that, of course, on Twitter, which is where all the a**oles in the United States and beyond go to get their advanced degrees in a**hole-iness, that I had used it as a news aggregator, and I suppose I will do my best to find other places that are similar in their news aggregation in real time and periodicals I like.”

Take it down a notch, Karen. It was clear you were trying to explain away your wife’s decades long lie by comparing her to Gillian Anderson when there is no comparison. So stay off Twitter if it’s too hard, but be prepared for the haters, AKA—in your case—the truth tellers, to find you elsewhere.

And, as you wife would say in her "native" tongue:

“Adios.”

Oops. I mean Goodbye.

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Remember that whole sexual harassment scandal involving former CBS bigshot Les Moonves? The one that cost him his job? Yeah? Well, it’s also cost CBS tens of millions of dollars after the network was court-ordered to pay actress Bobbie Phillips for the sexual harassment claims— including her allegation that Moonves forced her to perform oral sex on him in a 1995 meeting—after the network leaked the story to the media.

Phillips says that in 1995 Moonves dropped his pants in front of her and said:

“Look how hard you make me. Be my girlfriend and I’ll put you on any show.”

He then, ALLEGEDLY, grabbed her by the neck and forced her to perform oral sex. Phillips was able to break free by grabbing a baseball bat after he was interrupted by a phone call.

Moonves later said to Phillips’ longtime Hollywood agent, Marv Dauer:

“If Bobbie talks, I’m finished.”

And he is.

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Last week 36-year-old Katharine McPhee gave birth to her first child, a son, with her 71-year-old husband David Foster.

The boy is David’s first son, and joins his five stepsisters, four of whom are older than his mother.

That’s all.

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