Thursday, March 04, 2021


The other night, while watching the Golden Globes, I noticed Michelle Pfeiffer was up for an award. I told Carlos a story of back when Pfeiffer was playing Catwoman in one of the Batman films, and had a scene where she used her whip to snatch the heads off four mannequins; and she did it all in one take.

Carlos said:

“She was probably channeling Joan Crawford.”

I said, quizzically:

“What does that mean?”

“From when she played in Mommie Dearest.

“That wasn’t Pfeiffer! That was Faye Dunaway!”

“Well, they’re almost the same.”

He’s been sleeping in the shed for several days until he bones up on his Pop Culture references, and understands that, as a gay man, you can NEVER forget Dunaway was Joan.

Or else face a wire hanger.

Everybody knows you cannot be a Christian and a Republican at the same time; even a cat.

Just in time for rightwingnut heads to explode, Hasbro has announced that Mr. Potato Head is getting a rebrand in order to allow same-sex or single parent families to play the game.

No more Mr. Potato Head. It’s just Potato Head, so kids will have a blank slate to create same-sex families or single-parent families.

I love it, and I love the idea of GQPers going insane at the thought.

The other day driving home from an errand we were listening to classical music in the car, and Carlos said:

“I don’t know why, but I have never liked the flute.”

And because I have a whacked out sense of humor, I asked:

“Is it because it reminds you of the Tin Man’s dick?”

I kill me.

Apparently John Boehner has been recording an audio version of his memoir, , “On the House: A Washington Memoir” and drinking a little wine while doing so, causing him to ad lib a bit … like the chapter where he goes off-script and says:

“Oh, and Ted Cruz, go f**k yourself.”

I think he speaks for us all, with or without the wine.

And speaking of Rafael Cruz, he is apparently being mocked in the Senate gym locker room over his ill-timed, uninformed, elitist trip to Cancun while his Constituents froze, went thirsty, and actually died.

Somebody—and I ain’t saying it was AOC but she’d have every right—taped memes on the Senate gym lockers welcoming Cruz home and showing him in the short-sleeve polo shirt, jeans and Texas-flag mask that he had at the airport with the caption:

“Bienvenido de Nuevo, Ted!”

Poor Rafael. Now he’ll have to change in the hallway.

I love tattoos; in fact, I have several myself. But I’ve always been extremely cautious about what I got inked and where I got inked on my body. Not so smart, was one Leah Holland from Kentucky who responded to a viral TikTok video asking, 

“What is the dumbest tattoo that you’ve ever gotten?”

And Leah showed off her tattoo that she got March 4, 2020, that read:

“courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask.”

Now, before y’all read her the riot act, let her explain:

“I’d wanted it for a couple of years, it basically means like, be true to yourself and real, and not pretending to be something you’re not.”

Sadly, it was just a few weeks later that things changed and wearing a mask because a necessity; and, for Leah, so did wearing long sleeves.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Tweeted out this nonsense:

“I just announced Texas is OPEN 100%. EVERYTHING. I also ended the statewide mask mandate.”

And I Tweeted back:

“I guess letting the power go out and have the people freeze didn’t kill enough people for you?”

Seriously, Texas, do better.

Simone Susinna; the name rolls off the tongue. Simone Susinna. He is a former footballer, turned model, turned reality TV start turned … well, turned me on. Those eyes …I could stay there all day.

Except then there are the underwear shots and the day at the beach shots and the tease me shots.

Oh Simone.

I feel her pain.

One of my masks has a strap that goes around your neck so when you don’t need to wear it, you can pull it down and it hangs around your neck. The other day, Carlos and I were running errands and, because I thought we were finished, I removed my mask and left it in the cupholder in the car. Then Carlos had to make a stop at Office Max and it was pouring down rain, so we got out of the car and raced inside. And I wasn’t wearing a mask. I literally went to the front of the store and stood in a corner while Carlos made his purchase, and thought to myself:

People will look at me and think I’m a Republican.

Oh, the horror!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

That is indeed an unfortunate tattoo, LOL! She needs to clarify it, like inking an outline of the comedy/drama masks in the background.

uptonking said...

Republicans wear masks all the time... so we mistakenly believe they are human.

Simone... swarthy is nice. Less clothing... nicer! He has a nice tongue.

Texas... hell froze over. And they can secede anytime... petri dish of disease.

Poor Leah. Thank you for the laugh.

Cruz. What a tool. Azzwipe. Total. But you know he's bulletproof. If Texans had an ounce of sense they would have dumped his lying azz ages ago.

John Boehner... he just keeps getting sexier! And that last name! Grrrr. I wish he'd talk to me that way. I might have to buy his damn audio book. Aural porn!

Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn't, didn't already have... except the clap.

Potato Head! How sweet. And you know Million (Dolla) Moms are all up in arms about this... all ten of them.

Classic Jesus. Nice one.

Carlos! I am not religious in the slightest, but there are things that do rise to the level of blasphemy!

Great feed, as per usual. Love it. Thanks, dear.

Deedles said...

Just this: I would probably do anything that Simone sez.

the dogs' mother said...

(Carlos) (Tuxedo)
The store trip and maskless in the
corner! chortle.
xoxo :-)

Helen Lashbrook said...

I'm not with Carlos on the flute; there's some beautiful flute music out there

As for the Repugnant party and Christian ethics; they are a cross between Old Testament Christians and the Roman emperors throwing the Christians to the lions!

Treaders said...

I'm having a hard time figuring out who wore that hairstyle better. Teddy Boy or Bo Derek?

anne marie in philly said...


Steve Reed said...

Didn't Hasbro kind of walk back that Potato Head decision after the conservative uproar? Or maybe they just minimized it, by pointing out that there are still Mr and Mrs Potato Head -- just not marketed that way. It cracks me up that these culture warriors get so incensed about these things.

Too bad about the tattoo! And everyone's going to think it refers to Covid for years to come. She really might want to think about an alteration.

Asriel Pullman said...

States like Iowa, Florida and Texas....should in my opinion be knocked out of the United States for endangering the rest of the country. Let them be on their own.

brewella deville said...

I assume you've left Carlos in the shed with a dvd of Johnny Guitar playing on a loop.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

OMG yes! I keep a SECOND mask in my crossbody just in case I forget/lose the one I'm wearing. Being mistaken for an anti-masker is shameful. I feel you.
And this time Carlos and I will have to have a Kiki. Faye Dunaway? FAYE DUNAWAY??
AS for Greg Abbott, he's now blaming Uncle Joe for the spike in Texas because the president 'let the immigrants in'. I'm not joking.
And could I have Simone' number? I have something to tell him...


Bob said...

Yeah, I think she should have a disclaimer tattooed beneath it!

Carlos is in deep Pop Culture class this week so that mistakes like these don't happen again.

Added bonus? He'll say it in Italian!!!

I felt like I should have been shunned!

I was surprised because Carlos loves all musical instruments...well, not any more I guess.

I'll give it to Bo.

Pastor Tuxedo, of the Church of Common Sense?

Like there's anything wrong with Mr. and Mr. Potato Head.

@Asriel Pullman
Maybe not locked out, but not allowed to travel to states other than the idiot ones.

Funny thing is, Carlos is a huge Crawford fan so I was stunned he mixed that up. But Johnny Guitar might serve him right! With a side dish of Trog.

Abbott is perfect for Texas; he's a lying POS who takes zero responsibility for his actions.

Michael said...

That is so funny what you said about forgetting your mask. I forgot mine once and did the exact same thing you did, and I worried the whole time that people would think I was one of "them."

Dave R said...

The flute was funny!!

Boehner is also involved with marijuana farming, in case you didn't know.

Abbot's looking to get his ass fired.

And you're right about going maskless.

Bob said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!!!

I don't know why my mind goes where it goes.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I can guarantee SG would be in the shed with Carlos on this one! Classic Jesus or Republican Jesus... Tuxedo is brilliant! The Tin Man, talk about laying some pipe. Poor Leah Holland! If you forget to wear your mask here, no one thinks you're a republican, they just think you're an asshole... Oh wait. Never mind.

Travel said...

Laughs and drools today, if you need me, I will be with Carlos - no idea who played whom,

Bob said...

The look Carlos gave me when I asked about Tin Man dick is the look I live for.

I think the shed is plenty big for you and Carlos to share!