An Open Letter To Rudy Giuliani

Dear Rudy,

I’m gonna ask you to sit down now. I mean, you were once, for a brief, thankfully brief, moment, a contender in the GOP for the presidency, but now, I guess, knowing that you’ll never be anything more than an ex-mayor, you’ve decided to venture into Teabagger country, a la The Mama Grizzly Bore™, and mutter your vaguely racist lies about the president.

I mean, how else do we explain this:

“I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”

First off, any first-grader knows that when you start off a thought, even a Word soup thought like yours, by saying “this is a horrible thing to say” then maybe you shouldn’t say it.

But you said it because, well, your pandering both the far right of the GOP, the Teabagging community, and to Scott Walker—who mistakenly thinks he’ll be the next president — in the hopes that maybe he’ll give you a job when he gets to the White House.

And, again, if I didn’t make it clear” Scott Walker will never be president. And I won’t go into your Obama Doesn’t Love America rant simply because he doesn’t fall into your narrowest of narrow world views; just because he doesn’t believe that being Muslim makes one a terrorist; just because he believes terrorists are terrorists hiding behind a so-called faith.

But then, you continued your despicable rant by saying that Obama doesn’t love America because he wasn’t brought up the “way you were brought up.”

How in the hell do you make that blanket statement? How do you know how anyone, much less Barack Obama, was brought up?

I mean, you were brought up to marry your second cousin, Regina Peruggi; the same woman from whom you had your marriage annulled because, wait for it, she was your cousin.

And you were brought up to think it was perfectly acceptable to be living with your second wife, Donna Hanover, the mother of your two children, and leave for work without so much as a goodbye, only to hold a press conference later in the day announcing that your marriage was over because …

You’d begun dating Judi Nathan, the woman who would be your third wife, while still married to Hanover.

‘That’s how you were brought up, Rudy. I guess Obama, who’s been married once, and is still married to his wife, really wasn’t brought up like you.

But let’s take another pass at your anti-Obama remarks, like when you said:

"I would go anywhere, any place, anytime, and I wouldn't give a damn what the President of the United States said, to defend my country. That's a patriot. That's a man who loves his people. That's a man who fights for his people. Unlike our President."

Really, Rudy? Anywhere, anytime, to defend our country? Then please to explain the nearly half-dozen deferments you got to get out of serving during the Vietnam War; please explain how you got the federal judge for whom you were clerking to write a letter creating a special exemption for you to get out of military service?

And, since you brought up how you were raised, which was apparently much better than Obama, let’s take a look at the nuts in your family tree … besides yourself.

Such as your father, Harold Giuliani, who served time in prison for holding up a Harlem milkman and who was the bat-wielding enforcer for the loan-sharking operation run out of a Brooklyn bar owned by your uncle.

Yeah, I guess Obama wasn’t brought up like you … by criminals. And draft dodgers — I guess that’s where you learned that lesson. Harold and five of your uncles all found ways to avoid military service; your father, though his robber conviction was in the name of an alias, made sure the draft board knew he was a felon so he couldn’t serve.

How proud you must be that daddy the criminal, who committed his crimes behind a fake name, suddenly spouted off with great pride about being a felon so he would have to serve his country.

That’s how you were brought up, Rudy; that’s your idea, and your lesson, in loving America and being a patriot.

As I said at the top, Rudy, you need to take a seat. For about a half-second, in the wake of the Twin Towers collapsing on 9/11, you were seen by some, by many, perhaps, as a great leader. But now you’re just another pandering loon, goose-stepping alongside the Teabaggers and the arch-conservatives and spewing your lies and your hate. Which is just one more difference in the ways you and Barack Obama were brought up: you wallow like a pig in muck, and he rises above it all.

Now, seriously, sit down.

source material:

Politico
NY Daily News
NY Post