I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Down in Savannah, Georgia, the fashionistas were all in a twist because the Queen was coming to town. No, silly, not the Queen of England; Anna Wintour, the real Queen of All Things.

Wintour was in town for just about an hour to see the Oscar de la Renta show that her man Andre Leon Talley curated at the Savannah College of Art and Design [SCAD], and it was that one hour — “I heard it was 65 minutes,” sniffed one attendee — that has people in a snit.

See, locals who paid $1,000 a ticket for the event had hoped to meet Wintour at a VIP reception but when they arrived they learned that she’d already left. And that was probably for the best because she did not leave a very good impression.

One insider at SCAD says, “Staff were told not to address her or look at her — like those diva movie stars,” but the bigwigs at SCAD released their own statement:

“Ms. Wintour recently attended the private family preview of ‘Oscar de la Renta: His Legendary World of Style’ at SCAD to support her dear friend Annette de la Renta. There was never an expectation that Ms. Wintour would attend any reception in relation to the opening.”

SCAD also denied it was behind the quick renovation of a Victorian house where Wintour  was ALLEGED to have waited before seeing the exhibit though for the three days prior to Wintour entering the house there was a whirlwind overhaul, with buzz saws and furniture movers and painters.

And she was in, and then she was out, and the regular folk were pissed.

So, Kim Kardastrophe. Still making news for the bedazzled housecoat she wore to the Grammys. And now she’s decided to up the ante on her husband’s delusions by issuing some of her own crazy talk in an interview with Love Magazine.

On whether or not her career got its boost from that sex tape her mother — That Woman — pimped out, Kimmy says:

“Maybe that’s how some people heard about me but I didn’t launch my career off of that. That was 12 years ago, no 13 years ago now, so I just try to move on and put it in the past because I think that everyone in life does things they’re not proud of but you can’t sit and dwell on them forever.”

And fourteen years ago no one knew any Kardashian other than the one who defended that murdering ex-football player. Then you went heels-to-Jesus with Ray J and suddenly you’re the big name.

But my favorite Kim K answer was to the question, “What do you do again?"

“Ask my f—king bank account what I do.”

Her bank account? I thought she just kept her money in the nightstand drawer, you know, after the tricks leave it on top.’

Poor Justin Bieber broke his foot over the holidays playing soccer game, though it didn’t require any kind of boot to stabilize it; he wore his regular size four shoesies, but wants y’all to know he’s still in a lot of pain.

I mean, he must be, because he’s using the ALLEGED injury as an excuse for not completing the community service requirements for his probation. Not probation for drag racing, not probation for a temper tantrum, probation for egging his neighbor’s house.

And while he’s been taking his anger management classes as part of his plea deal he has yet to complete a single hour of community service because of that soccer injury.

His lawyer, Attorney Shawn Holley, who was in court last week trying to clear up the reason why her other client, Lindsay Lohan didn’t complete her community service, issued a progress report in his egging case: Biebs has completed 9 out of 12 anger management classes but as for his 5 days of community service, well, Holley said, his bad foot made it impossible for him to pick up trash or remove graffiti.

Holley submitted a doctor’s note to satisfy the judge, though I wonder if the doctor was the same one who diagnosed Lohan with that Chimichurri bite she got in Bora Bora.

Just sayin’; same lawyer, same doctor, same lame-ass excuses for bad behavior..

Will Smith has done pretty well for himself; I mean he had a hit TV show and then parlayed that into a successful run at the movies until recently, when he learned that not every film he makes turns out a winner.

Like, um, After Earth, which starred Will and his crazy son Jadon, and bombed at the box office. Apparently that thud caused Will Smith to lose.his.mind. something he talked about while promoting his latest film, Focus:

“For me, [Focus] really marks a transition in my life and emotionally and in my career. After the failure of After Earth, a thing got broken in my mind. I was like, ‘Oh, wow. I’m still alive. Oh, wow. Actually, I still am me, even though the movie didn’t open number one. Wait. I can still get hired on another movie.’ I realized that I still was a good person, so when I went into Focus, I completely released the concept of goal orientation and got into path orientation. This moment, this second, these people, this interaction … It is a huge relief for me to not care whether or not Focus is number one or number 10 at the box office.”

Gosh, he makes it sound like the failure of After Earth was so devastating; you know, like he hadn’t gotten a $20,000,000 paycheck for it, and so he couldn’t keep the lights on at the manse, and he couldn’t afford the insurance on all twenty cars, and couldn’t keep Jada in designer Herve Leger bandage dresses or something.

Get a grip, Smith. You’re a multi-millionaire who still got paid for a job not so well done.

Sheesh.

This story kills me, because, had it happened, we wouldn’t be celebrating week two of Brian Williams Is A Big Fat Liar.

See, apparently, NBC News anchor — for now, at least — Brian Williams made a bizarre bid to quit the serious world of mainstream journalism — and I laugh at the idea that he will ever again be considered a journalist — to try his hand at late-night comedy by replacing Jay Leno as host of “The ­Tonight Show.”

Seriously? Imagine Diane Sawyer asking ABC to give her a shot turning letters on Wheel of Fortune. Imagine Rachel Maddow wanting to open the big box on Let’s Make a Deal. Imagine Brian Williams back at a news desk in six months.

None of those things will happen.

Yeah, I know, we’re still talking Kanye’s panties-in-a-twist moment at the Grammys, as well as his rant at an after-party where he demanded Beck give his Grammy to Beyoncé, but now it’s Kanye’s turn to talk about Kanye, his favorite subject. When asked why he raced up onstage, as though he was gonna pull a Swifty-VMAs repeat, he said, ahem, and I quote:

“You know, I felt like just the whole Grammys, right when that happened, everybody was looking at me, and then people started screaming, ‘Kanye! Kanye! Go do it!’ Okay, that didn’t really happen, these were voices in my head. So the voices in my head told me to go up, and then I just walked up, like, halfway up the stage.”

Actually, you half-wit, you walked all the way up onstage because you were standing next to Beck. Perhaps the “voices in your head” give bad directions? Then he says he likes Beck:

“Beck is one of the nicest guys and one of the most respected musicians in the game. So there’s nothing that I would want to do as a fellow musician to disrespect him in any way.”

But you did, Blanche! You did disrespect him, because your big fat Krazy Man ego—as well as those voices — got in the way. And then he was asked why he went on that rant after the show where even his wife looked at him like he was a lunatic:

“Well, you know what happened? It’s because I sat there and I kind of let that [smolder] and I was asked my opinion and I was given a platform. And when given a platform, it’s very hard, as we know — and I’m going to talk in third person like I’m a crazy person …” ... and we’ll stop, because, again, y’are a crazy person, Blanche, y’are crazy ... “... but it’s very hard for Kanye West to not be very true and vocal to what he feels… [But] I think it came off the wrong way, and that was a mis-wording on my part … I felt — and this is my opinion and he’s his own man and he’s not wrong and we’ll still go play basketball and stuff [unless] he doesn’t want to do it — that even though the Grammys sometimes give awards to people who you wouldn’t think should win in the category, as a respect to artists, we mention the other artist’s name in our speech…”

What the hell is this word soup all about? He’s sorry; he’s not sorry. He wants to play basketball; he doesn’t want to play basketball. For a man who’s made a living of rapping — and acting the fool — he cannot even string together a coherent sentence.

Siddown.

Charlize Theron and Sean Penn were out and about with her son Jackson over the weekend looking all lovey-dovey and stuff, but then this happened:

Rumor has it that Sean was, ahem, getting’ busy with Charlize’s stunt double. At least according to a  new story in the National Enquirer — hey, they’re half right half of the time — suggests that Penn spent several “romantic” nights with Fleur van Eeden, who happens to be his girlfriend’s stunt double on the set of their new movie, The Last Face. And Fleur is talking …

“I find Sean very sexy still, even though he’s older, [and since] Charlize didn’t come. I was alone with Sean and a few crew [members] ... They put up a tented camp for the crew, and offered Sean the guesthouse. But he refused and insisted on sleeping with us. One night we all stood ’round a bonfire, and suddenly Sean said, ‘I want to read you my poems, my private collection. Would you mind?’ It was phenomenal – awesome – under the big starry sky. He’s a great poet, a very deep, romantic guy.”

Wait. What? He read poems? Well, no wonder he did it with Fleur. I mean, c’mon, Charlize has probably heard those same poems a thousand times, and decided it was too risky to hear ‘em again, so she sent in the double.

Makes perfect sense to me …

We don’t hear much about Cuba Gooding Jr. anymore, but apparently he’s a douche, and a misogynist and makes waiters cry; let’s dish …

Back in 2012, Cuba ALLEGEDLY punched a female bartender in New Orleans, and then took his drunkenness to New York City where there was a child tossing incident on GMA, and after that his 20-year marriage has collapsed and now it seems the douchebag-itude is back.

Cuba was dining with pals one night at the Mercer Hotel in SoHo and invited two women from another table — Danish model Ammalie Overbeck and Dutch beauty Bo ‘t Jong — to join him. Once they did, Gooding kept “pulling up his shirt to show [them] his abs” until he wanted more drinks and couldn’t find a waiter. That’s when he  hopped over a banquette and got in the man’s face:

“He grabbed a waiter by both shoulders and gave him a verbal shellacking,” said a source—possibly Lohan, because it’s a club and folks were drunk—who added that the waiter was found by two members of Gooding’s group “sobbing” in the rest room. 

Gooding’s pals explained that the Selma star’s going through a divorce — his wife filed for divorce after 20 years of marriage last April. But does that excuse the asshat behavior? Or does it excuse the fact that when Gooding returned to his new friends, he asked the women to engage in a sex act with him. They rebuffed the loser, so he instantly went to another woman at the bar and tried to woo her with his abs and bad behavior.

Cuba’s representative denied this story, but it seems to fit in with other drunken escapades of Gooding’s, like last December when he was “like a freshman at a college party” and telling women his name was “Dick McWilly.”

Well, he’s a dick, all right.

I won’t say anything about Bruce Jenner’s recent car accident that resulted in a woman’s death. He has been very co-operative with police, was tested for being drunk at the scene — he wasn’t — and was questioned about whether he was texting at the time of the crash — his people say he was not.

Still, please to explain, Bruce, why on Tuesday, mere days after the crash, you were spotted out driving and chatting on a cellphone while behind the wheel.

It’s not clear what he was doing on the phone, except he was very clearly breaking California  law by using a non-hands-free phone while driving.

You’d think the last thing he’d be doing, after what happened over the weekend, is to be on a phone and behind the wheel of a moving car at the same time.

Knock it off!

This one reeks of publicity stunt or truly disturbing story ...

Actress Victoria Rowell is suing CBS, “The Young and The Restless” co-producers Sony Pictures and Bell-Phillip Television Production Inc. and other parties ALLEGING that she’s been repeatedly snubbed while trying to reprise her role on the soap because she’s been a longtime advocate for more black characters on daytime soap operas.

Her suit accuses executives of retaliating against her by not welcoming her back — despite numerous requests over the last three years — because of critical comments she’s made both on and off camera about lack of diversity in the soap industry.

Rowell — who was nominated for three Daytime Emmy Awards and earned 11 NAACP Image Awards starred on the show for seventeen years — even alleges on-set racism went on for years with any repercussions. She claims that white actress Melody Thomas Scott, who plays Nikki Newman, once ran onto the set “dancing wildly and wearing an oversized Afro wig to mock” Rowell’s “Afro-styled hair” and that another white actress, Michelle Strafford, once allegedly “collaborated” with a white producer and a white director before spitting on Rowell, calling her a “freak” and saying “no one likes you.”

Man, if any of this is true, it’s ugly and disgusting, but then one asks the questions: why stay there for nearly two decades and why tell those racist stories now and not at the moment they happened if you’re such an advocate for black actors on soaps?

The suit also claims that Rowell has been blacklisted from reprising her Y&R role on CBS' sister soap The Bold and the Beautiful and can’t get another job on daytime TV because of her outspokenness.

But the nuttiest part of her lawsuit is where she claims she was not consulted before a storyline was developed where her character went insane and was “placed in a straight jacket and dragged to an asylum.” Rowell’s character was written off the show later that year at her request but since then she has been lobbying for her job back.

Y&R execs claim Rowell wasn’t brought back due to creative reasons that had nothing to with race, and CBS issued a statement saying it’s “disappointed to learn that, after leaving the” soap “on her own initiative, Ms. Rowell has attempted to rewrite that history through lawyers’ letters and a lawsuit that has no merit. We harbor no ill will toward Ms. Rowell, but we will vigorously defend this case.”

I smell a whole lotta ugliness about to come down the pike.