Thursday, May 09, 2013

Random Musing .... Singular

That's my Dad and Mom, with me and my big sister. My big sister.

My sister is in the hospital with pneumonia and she woke up around 4:30 this morning and was bored. Since she lives in California she knew she better not call anyone that early, but then she remember time differences, and how it was 7:30 in the morning here in Smallville and she placed that call.

So we talked about her having pneumonia and how she was feeling better. She told me stories of ghosts and such that people told her about; ghosts that wandered the hospital. And we laughed. My sister is kind of that hippie love child mother, and we talked about the ghosts and we talked about her kids and how her youngest had recently shaved the side of her head. We laughed.

I had recently asked if I could use a picture that I have of her in a project that might see my novel published at long last. it's one of my favorite pictures of her, wearing a blue flowered dress that my Mom made for her. I want it on the cover of the book; I actually used the picture as a way to describe a character in my book who, while she looks like my sister and acts like my sister and has some of the same adventures with her younger brother that my sister had with me, she is not that sister. My sister is much nicer, and sweeter.

But we talked about growing up together and the things we did together. I told her some good news about my Dad. He is planning on leaving Washington state and moving back down to Oregon and I was thrilled by that. Don't get me wrong, he loves Washington, but his life is more in Oregon, with friends and family closer to him. So we smiled at that thought.

We talked for over an hour and then I heard the nurses enter her room and she said she had to get off the phone so they could do their work. I said I loved her, and she said, as she always has, that she loves me, too.

She called again around 1:30PM, my time. I saw the caller ID and said, 'Hey.'

She said, 'I have cancer.'

In her lung and in her leg. Cancer. She asked that I call Dad and let him know because that was a call she couldn't make. She started to tell me more, but then she started to cry.

Then she said, 'Don't you start.'

I said, 'Too late.'

My sister has cancer. My big sister.

So, work was cancelled for the day and here I am at home. I made that call to my Dad, and he cried, which makes me cry more. I called Carlos and cried just hearing his voice.

My sister has cancer.

Still, she says she'll do everything she can to beat this, take every treatment and do whatever is necessary, and I am telling myself that if anyone can do this, my big sister can. See, she is one of the most stubborn people in the world and will not take No for an answer.

So, I am laying out the hope blanket and hoping to catch all I can. Hoping to send it all to her so she can feed her stubbornness and fight this thing.

My sister has cancer. I feel like I need to keep saying it because it doesn't feel real. not after we lost our Mother to cancer; not after we lost our aunt to it, also.

My sister has cancer and I have hope. 

She has hope. And she's stubborn.

I just needed to get that out. Thanks.

12 comments:

BloggerJoe said...

Bob, my big sister has cancer too. Partner/Spouse and I moved to Tucson last Dec, arrived two days before Christmas so we could be here for her operation and chemo/radiation. She's keeping her spirits up. Like your sister, mine is a fighter. I understand your pain, your thoughts, your feelings. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze hard. A hug from me.

Anonymous said...

Bob,

I am so sorry to hear this.

My Mom is a 24-year cancer survivor, and my half-sister is a 12-year survivor. I have an inkling of what you're going through.

Please know that I'll be praying for your sister's physical well-being. (I know that phrase "praying for you" has a lot of baggage for a lot of people. I mean it in a good way.)

Hugs!

lacochran's evil twin said...

I'm sorry she and you and your family have to deal with this horribleness. The good news is there's a lot of knowledge on cancer treatment and eradication. I wish her the best possible outcome.

Anonymous said...

Oh, man. I hope she'll be okay in the end. My eldest sister was too stubborn. She had symptoms of lung cancer for years until she collapsed due to pneumonia. That's when she found out she had it, and it quickly spread elsewhere.

She believed until her lungs literally gave out that she was going to beat it, too.

I hope you have a better outcome than I did.

the dogs' mother said...

First xoxooxoxox to you and Carlos.
Second - this is something I have not shared online but I am also a cancer survivor. I never understood the term survivor until I reached the survivor stage. Every year treatments improve and new discoveries are made. Am going to wish the absolute best for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Attitude and a support system are so important for all of you. My hopes and thought to your sister, you and all of her family and friends.

The Cool Cookie said...

Man, I am sorry to read this.

anne marie in philly said...

a cancer survivor here also; 24 years next month.

{{{{{hugs}}}}} to you and your family. you are not alone.

Theaterdog said...

I come here every day for fun and relaxation ....support...
Now it is your turn....my prayers for your sister to become a very longtime cancer survivor ...
hugs Tim

Mistress Maddie said...

alas, Bob, as Im teary reading this, I have no words good enough to wirte, except to say my thoughts, prayers,love, good vibes and well wishes goes to you and your sister. Great ladies like Anne Marie and Froggy give comfort and hope for promise. Congrats to these two. I will be thinking of you both.

charmngbilly said...

will be keeping you and yours in our thoughts and prayers.

Raybeard said...

Truly dreadful situation, Bob. My thoughts are with your sister and to her nearest and dearest - as well as to you, and that all of you are able to bear whatever it is that coming times may bring. Here's fervently hoping.