I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Yes, it’s true … Aunt Becky is going from Fuller House to the Big House.

Bad parents Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli have agreed to a guilty plea and struck a deal in connection with their involvement in the Varsity Blues college admissions scandal rather than face trial and certain, longer jail time.

Lori will serve two months in prison, pay a $150,000 fine and have two years of supervised release with 100 hours of community service, while Mossimo will serve five months in prison, a $250,000 fine and two years of supervised release with 250 hours of community service.

I know, I wish it was a longer sentence, too, but the best part of all is that for the rest of their lives when you Google Lori or Mossimo or their two spoiled, and probably not-so-bright daughters, you’ll see scandal and scam artists and bribes and guilty pleas and jail time.

So, Full House and Fuller House will no longer be the worst thing Lori Loughlin has done.

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Speaking of dumb celebrities …Jason Derulo.

Singer, and apparent asshat, Jason Derulo is on TikTok and in a desperate attempt to keep his views up he posted a video of himself eating a corn on the cob cartoon style with help from a drill, Jason got corn-holed in the piehole with the corn drill and lost some of his teeth because … stupid.

And now, like Lori, when you Google Jason Derulo you’re apt to see “Jason Derulo getting his corn hole drilled.”

Of course, it was all probably a prank, but, again, stupid. Just sayin’.

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Some people get Jude law and Hugh Grant confused as actors, and now they’re going to get them confused as two British men who have the most children with the most partners.

Forty-seven-year-old Jude Law  32-year-old wife of one year, Phillipa Coan, are having a baby; her first, his sixth. And this gets Jude an edge in Most Children by Most Different Moms over Hugh.

Jude shares 23-year-old son Rafferty, 19-year-old daughter Iris, and 17-year-old son Rudy with his first wife, Sadie Frost. He also has a 10-year-old daughter named Sophia with his ex-girlfriend Samantha Burke, as well as a 5-year-old daughter named Ada with his ex-girlfriend Catherine Harding.

Six kids, four Baby Mamas. One tired Jude.

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Seriously, who the f%k asked for this?

Mindy Kaling will reunite with her A Wrinkle in Time co-star Reese Witherspoon to co-write the screenplay for Legally Blonde 3: Legally a Senior Citizen. Reese will again star as the aging attorney Elle Woods, producing through her Hello Sunshine studio with the franchise’s original producer Marc Platt.

Blonde 1 came out nineteen years ago followed by Blonde 2 seventeen years ago. And for some reason, nearly two decades later someone thinks the idea on Blonde 3 is a good one?

No. Just no.

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I guess when you’ve been fired from a high-profile, big money job for being a pervert and your wife dumps you and takes more than half your coins and property for being a pervert, there’s just one thing left to do: whine about it all and get a tattoo.

Sixty-two-year-old Matt Lauer got inked, y’all, and it’s cray. But first, Lauer, who was accused of rape, abusing his power over female employees, having affairs, flashing people, and buying co-workers sex toys as gifts—but vehemently denies he ever raped anyone—has accused Ronan Farrow of being a lousy reporter who’s only after headlines:

“Will anyone hold Ronan Farrow thoroughly accountable? I doubt it. I ask people to consider how they would react if someone they loved were accused of something horrific and basic journalistic standards were ignored because of a desire to sell books. I also urge people to remember that there are two sides to all stories.”

Oh Matt. You should still be sitting because no one has asked you to get up and start talking again. Least of all Ronan Farrow, who responded to Matt’s rant:

“All I’ll say on this is that Matt Lauer is just wrong. Catch and Kill was thoroughly reported and fact-checked, including with Matt Lauer himself.”

See, Matt basically helped Ronan with much of what was written about him and now claims the rest of it is wrong. Sorry, Matt, not buying it. But then, as sexual predators do, Matt pulled a ____, and claimed he “was falsely accused” by Brooke Nevils, the co-worker who accused him of rape. And like Ronan, Brooke was not having it, and she took to Twitter:

“DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.”

Matt also wrote that the accusation “was devastating for my family” and was all a lie “used to sell books.” Um, that lie cost you your job and your family, and yet you didn’t try to fight the lie; you took a payout and whimpered away so, again, stay seated.

But anyway, about that tattoo that Matt suddenly showed off; it reads:

“Hatred corrodes the container it’s carried in.”

It’s kinda hard to read because Matt clearly asked for the Drunk Fratboy Font.

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