I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Remember Chris Hansen from To Catch A Predator? I’m guessing his new show is Catch a Check Bouncer because that’s what Hansen was arrested for in Connecticut this week.

Hansen ALLEGEDLY bounced $13,000 worth of checks to a company called Promotional Sales Limited for branded items like mugs, t-shirts and vinyl decals. And then to top that off, he was evicted from his NYC apartment for owing some $4,000 in back rent.

But hey, go bounce a check for a t-shirt, dude. Oh, and to make matters worse, Hansen’s soon to be ex-wife, Mary Joan, wants alimony and a “fair division of property and debts.” 

Oh honey, the man cannot buy a coffee mug without bouncing a check and you think there’s alimony? No … no.

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And speaking of someone who wants the coins, ex-CBS head, and sexual predator, Les Moonves is demanding his $120 million payout from CBS, even though the network has already said “Dee-nied.”

CBS reached its decision after a three-month investigation into how Moonves behaved while at the network, and they uncovered all sorts of pervy shiz … like ALLEGATIONS of Moonves forcing oral sex on aspiring actresses and maybe cancelling Cybill when Cybill Shepherd refused to sleep with him.

Even worse, Julie Chen Moonves is now totally relying on CBS and Big Brother to pay the bills at Chez Moonves … until she evicts Les from the house.

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I guess it pays to be the asshat son of a famous person, because Lionel Richie’s son, Miles Brockman Richie, is a free man aafter ALLEGEDLY claiming he was in possession of a bomb—which he threatened to detonate—and then punching a security guard at London’s Heathrow Airport because he was denied entry to a flight.

Richie was given a “caution” for “communicating false information, battery, and causing a bomb hoax” after authorities discovered he was lying about the explosives. In England, receiving a “caution” means the person involved accepts responsibility for their actions and is allowed to go on their way without being arrested or charged.

Seriously? Lock that asshatted, terrorist up.

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I love me some Leslie Jones. I love her loud mouth and her irreverent sense of humor. But today, Leslie, honey, take a seat.

This week Jason Reitman  he was rebooting Ghostbusters, the movie his father, Ivan Reitman, directed in the 1980s. Jason says his reboot will forgive [forget] the all-female Ghostbusters that came out a minute ago, and be an actual sequel to his dad’s movie. And that sent Jones over … the … edge …

“So insulting. Like fuck us. We dint count. It’s like something _____ would do. ‘Gonna redo ghostbusteeeeers, better with men, will be huge. Those women ain’t ghostbusteeeeers’ ugh so annoying. Such a dick move. And I don’t give fuck I’m saying something!!”

And I’ll say something …Leslie? Did you see the all-female remake? It sucked. It wasn’t funny. It was bad. You should be thrilled for this sequel because it’ll make people forget your version.

Love you.

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Chris Brown. He’s been in Paris recently, attending fashion shows—which begs the question: why do designers need Chris Brown at their shows? But, ALLEGEDLY, he was doing something else.

See, Brown and some members of his entourage were arrested for assault and suspicion of rape after a 24-year-old woman claims Brown assaulted her in a hotel suite in Paris earlier this month.

Brown, like he did when he beat up Rihanna—which doesn't necessarily mean that he's a rapist—has yet to comment on the ALLEGATIONS but, I believe Chris Brown is the guy that beats up his girlfriend and leaves her by the side of the road. I believe he’s the guy abuses, stalks and harasses his ex-girlfriend to the point where she doesn’t feel safe being alone with him. I believe he’s the guy who meets a girl in a bar and invites her to his hotel room and rapes her.

It’s called escalating.

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I’m a cynic. Sue me.  But this Bryan Singer mess, and Rami Malek’s ”Who? What?” attitude? Not.Buying.It.

Bryan Singer directed more than half of Bohemian Rhapsody before leaving the film under a storm of controversy that he had missed days and days of work, that other people had to step in to complete the film, and that Singer and Malek clashed on the set and that Singer even “threw an object” at Rami. And this all happened around the time that Singer was sued again for raping another teenage boy. Sidenote: four more accusers have come forward this past week saying Singer fondled them or raped them when they were teenagers working on one of his films.

But here’s my thing …the stories of Singer and underage boys have been around for years, long before Bohemian Rhapsody was a thought, and before anyone even knew Rami Malek. And yet Malek is now saying he’d never ever heard the stories about Singers ALLEGEDLY infamous Boy Pool Parties?

Sorry, Rami, but if I could hear the story here in Smallville, surely you heard the story in Hollywood, especially after you announced you’d be working with Singer.

Just sayin’.

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We all know Lady Gaga is thirsty for Oscar because then she can carry it around as a prop in case she runs into Madonna and can shove it in Madge’s face, so does anyone … anyone … actually believe Gaga when she said this about the Oscar nomination for A Star is Born:

“I didn’t know anything about it.”

Yes, Lady Gaga who has been campaigning for an Oscar for months now, says she actually slept through the nominations and didn’t wake up until three hours later.

You woke up three hours after your nomination was announced and no one … no one … called you to share the news?

Sure, Lady, sure.

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