I don’t really know you, Noah, but I’ve been watching your TV show, The Real O’Neals, where you, an openly gay actor, play an openly gay character on a show created by openly gay Dan Savage. It’s kind of a cute show, bordering on, and wanting to be, edgy, but falling into that typical situation comedy trap of set-up and joke, set-up and joke.
But this isn’t about your show, this is about how you don’t seem to be able to think before you speak; and this is something I know about, because I’ve been known to rant uncontrollably though, in your case, what you did was beyond … I mean, how else are we to explain that, during an interview with Vulture, you seemed to sharpen your fangs and dig right into just about everyone, most of whom you don’t even know, apparently.
You started off tame enough in the interview, bemoaning the fact that Hollywood tends to stereotype actors and since you’re playing a “funny gay kid” on TV you might always be seen as that. But then you decided to go after other actors, though, for the life of me, I cannot figure why.
When the subject of fellow actor Colton Haynes’ recent coming out came up, and how Colton may have teased on social media for a few months that maybe he was gay before he actually said the words, this was your take:
“That’s not coming out. That’s fucking pussy bullshit. That’s like, enough people assume that I sleep with men, so I’m just going to slightly confirm the fact that I’ve sucked a dick or two. That’s not doing anything for the little gays but giving them more masturbation material.”
Wow. So, you’ve has appointed himself the HOMO Director of Coming Out for the LGBT Community? I mean, we all come out when we want, when we need, when we feel it’s the right thing to do; sure, you probably came out after coming out from the womb, but that doesn’t mean everyone else has to follow your lead. So Colton Haynes chose his late twenties to come out. Who cares? I wonder what your take on Joel Grey might be since he waited until his 80s before saying, “I’m gay.” Is Joel a pussy, too, or is Colton a pussy because he teased about it?
But you quickly moved on from Colton Haynes, to Modern Family actor Eric Stonestreet and what you call his “gay minstrel performance” on TV:
“I’ve thrown Eric Stonestreet under the bus a solid seven times this week. … I think as wonderful of an actor as Eric Stonestreet is — I’ve never met him, I assume he’s a wonderful guy — he’s playing a caricature of a caricature of a stereotype of stereotype on Modern Family. And he’s a straight man in real life. And as hilarious as that character is, there’s a lack of authenticity. I think people — especially young gay kids — they can laugh at it, and they can see it as a source of comedy, but like, nothing more than that. And I want Kenny to be more than the funny gay kid.”
Um, Noah, open your eyes and take a good long look at the LGBT community; we are all kinds of people, from muscle men to mincing queens to nerds to jocks to … whatever; and however we are, however we act, we should never be demeaned for it. And that’s what you did when you mocked Eric Stonestreet’s character; you mocked every single effeminate and flamboyant and dramatic queen out there. But here’s the queer deal, Noah: some of us are like that, and some of us are not. And when we have to fight for recognition and are denigrated by people who hate The Gays because of the way some of us act, well, that is awful; but when one of our own denigrates us, that wound is more hurtful. Gay is all kinds of people, all colors and sizes and mannerisms and you need to remember that.
Of course, Noah you also decided to go after an “unnamed” guest actor on your show:
“There was a kid who guested on our show. He was flirting with me so blatantly, to the point where he asked me out a few times. At one point I turned to him and was like, Are you gay? And he was like, Well … I don’t know. I’m more like, go with the flow. And I was like, Shut the fuck up. Get out of my face with your wishy-washy bullshit answer. You’re a fucking faggot. Like, I know you are. You know you are. Stop beating around the bush. Just go make out with me in my dressing room.”
Are you trying to be funny, Noah, because you missed the mark. Maybe that guest actor was flirting with you because you are an openly gay man and he might be a little closeted and trying to find his way and this is how you speak to him? You really should be ashamed of yourself. But that isn’t the worst of your problems with saying whatever seems to pop in your head; it got worse when you talked about openly gay director Bryan Singer, who recently fought off an unproven allegation that he molested young boys:
“Yeah. Bryan Singer likes to invite little boys over to his pool and diddle them in the fucking dark of night. I want nothing to do with that. I think there are enough boys in L.A. that are questionably homosexual who are willing to do things with the right person who can get them in the door. In New York there is a healthy gay community, and that doesn’t exist in L.A.”
Um, Noah, that’s lawsuit shiz right there, unless you’re saying you have personal knowledge of what you’re talking about. And if you don’t … shut up. Just shut up.
Which might be what’s happening now; perhaps Bryan Singer’s attorneys speed-dialed ABC who emailed the PR department who called your manager who texted your agent who got into his Prius and raced to your house to tell you to shut the f**k up and start apologizing before ABC decides to send your TV character Kenny O’Neal on a long European vacation while his gay cousin, Stevie, visits from Cleveland for the next season and you’re out of a job
And so you instantly began to Tweet-apologize to everyone from Bryan Singer to Eric Stonestreet to Colton Haynes:
“I sincerely apologize to Bryan Singer for the horrible statement I made about him … My comments were false and unwarranted. It was irresponsible and stupid of me to make those allegations … and I deeply regret doing so. I have never been to Bryan’s house, and I admit there is no basis for any of the things I said or implied … I understand now that my statements were not at all funny and have serious implications.”
So, you know nothing of Bryan Singer but felt the need to spread false gossip? As what, a joke? A need for free publicity for your show? A desperate cry for attention? Whatever the reason …. Stop it. Well, after you apologized to Stonestreet and Haynes:
“To Colton Haynes and to the LGBTQ youth, especially those who have embraced our show, I have no right to dictate how or when anybody comes out of the closet; I know how difficult and scary the process of coming out can be, and the last thing I would ever want to do is make it scarier. For anyone. Lastly, as I said in the interview, I think Eric Stonestreet is a wonderful actor. I apologize to everyone that I’ve hurt with my comments and understand the damage that has been done. I am new to this and will certainly commit to being more thoughtful and wiser as I navigate all of this moving forward.”
Look, we’re all new to stuff, but take a minute to think before you speak and unless you know firsthand about someone, maybe don’t talk or joke or imply any kind of sexual misconduct with children?
And maybe try to be more understanding about when and why people come out; and learn that the LGBT community is made up of all kinds of people; Elton John … Jack Mackenroth … Nathan Lane … Tim Cook … Ellen … Lea DeLaria … Laverne Cox … Chaz Bono.
Noah Galvin. All different, and all having the right not to be judged by anyone for who they are, much less judged by one of our own.
I’ll end with the words of one of the people you don’t know, have never met, and yet felt the need to trash in print. After your apology, Colton Haynes said this:
“It’s extremely ironic that only a month ago I was tweeting [Noah Galvin} and saying that he should win an Emmy for his work. Then today he returns the favor by calling me a pussy and the worst to the entire world. Let me just clarify, I’ve never met this kid, so for him to judge me without even meeting [me] and having no idea the struggles I’ve been through or where I come from is absolutely uncalled for and quite frankly embarrassing on his part. … And since when did he become the judge of what’s appropriate. Shouldn’t we all be supporting each other? Enjoy all of your success. You’re young kid…hopefully you’ll eventually learn a thing or two. Good luck. I’m sure I’ll see ya around. – Colton Pussy Haynes”
Take a minute Noah, but keep apologizing, and learn a lesson. We are not all like you, and we are not at all like one another, except that we are gay. Our experiences, our lives, our choices on coming out, or not, are our choices.
You made your choice on when and how to come out and good for you. Maybe that’s what you should say the next time a person publicly comes out:
“Good for you.”
And then stop talking.