It’s no exaggeration to say that 2015 was a great year for the LGBT community, just like it’s no exaggeration to say that the march still goes on and we still have a lot of work to do.
But … let’s take a moment as the year winds down to look at a list of Fifteen Of The Dumbest Things Said About The LGBT Community In 2015 … courtesy of the Huffington Post:
Because of gay marriage, people will soon want to marry their lawnmowers
Yup, that’s what Iowa Republican Congressman and Asshat, Steve King said, citing an unnamed Christian lawyer who reportedly told him that only "one human" is needed for a marriage now.
I haven’t seen one marriage between a man and his tractor yet, though.
Same-sex marriage will lead to "love affairs between men and animals."
Pat Robertson, a certifiable loon and homophobe, argued that the Supreme Court's June 26 ruling used "faulty sociological grounds" and warned that:
"Watch what happens, love affairs between men and animals are going to be absolutely permitted. Polygamy, without question, is going to be permitted, and it will be called a right."
I still love Tuxedo, but, yeah, just as a friend, not a feline husband.
Same-sex attraction is like eating doughnuts
TLC aired a controversial special, "My Husband's Not Gay," and profiled Jeff, a Mormon man who said he'd chosen to marry a woman, Tanya, despite being attracted to other men. Jeff defended his decision to marry a woman using this analogy:
"I love doughnuts. So you could say I am oriented toward doughnuts, and if I was being true to myself, I would eat donuts a lot more than I eat doughnuts ... [but] am I denying myself because I don't eat doughnuts as much as I might like to eat doughnuts? I'm not."
Crazy, too, isn’t he?
Pastor warns of a "sodomite demon," contracted through kissing, sex
In July, James David Manning of ATLAH World Missionary Church warned heterosexual women about a "sodomite demon," which can be contracted through sexual intercourse with men who have had sex with other men.
"If a man injects himself in another man and injects his semen into him, and he's crazy, then that's gonna get in his blood as well. If demons are in him... you're gonna get penetrated by demons."
Demon semen. Who knew?
California's drought is the result of marriage equality, LGBT rights
In May, Bill Koenig of World Watch Daily, a "biblically relevant" news site that focuses on Israel, the Middle East and the White House, suggested that California’s four-year drought was caused by same-sex marriage:
"We've got a state that, over and over again, will go against the word of God, that will continually take positions on marriage and abortion and on a lot of things that are just completely opposed to the Scriptures. So there very likely could be a drought component to this judgment."
Again, I wonder, if The Gays are so All Powerful, why did we wait for the Supreme Court to legalize same-sex marriage? Why not just send locusts and drought everywhere until we got our way?
Gay "X-Men" character will "indoctrinate" youth
Evangelist Franklin Graham blasted Marvel Comics after iconic "X-Men" character Iceman was revealed to be gay, arguing that it was "another attempt to indoctrinate our young people to accept this destructive lifestyle."
"God’s Word says homosexuality is a sin, and we are to be on guard against all sin," he wrote. "God calls us to repent, turn from our sins, and put our trust in His Son Jesus Christ who died and rose again to pay the penalty for sin."
If all it took to make people gay was seeing a gay character on TV or in movies, would everyone be gay? And wouldn’t that be great?
Baltimore protests are the result of same-sex marriage
In April, Texas Representative Bill Flores made a bizarre link between same-sex marriage rights and the unrest in Baltimore following the death of Freddie Gray:
"Look at what is going on in Baltimore today. You see the issues that are raised there. Healthy marriages are the ones between a man and a woman because they can have a healthy family and they can raise children in a way that’s best for their future, not only socially but psychologically, economically, from a health perspective."
So, a man in police custody died because marriage equality? That’s an idiotic stretch even for a Texas politician.
Parents should drown themselves instead of letting kids read "Harry Potter"
In November, Pastor Kevin Swanson blasted Harry Potter, and his opposition to J.K Rowling's iconic series stemmed from the author's revelation that she always thought of Dumbledore the wizard as a gay man.
"America, repent that Dumbledore emerged as a homosexual mentor for Harry Potter, that Hiccup’s mentor in ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ emerged as a homosexual himself in order that history might repeat itself one more time."
Fictional gay people are scary, I guess?
Anti-gay bigotry should be blamed on Muslims
In May, Rush Limbaugh had some eyebrow-raising advice for businesses who want to deny services to same-sex couples: blame Muslims:
"I pointed out the other day, well, then should we maybe stop flouting and flaunting gay marriage, because gay marriage is really disapproved in Islam. Gay marriage, homosexual behavior is not tolerated, it is not permitted and it is punished severely when it is caught, when it's spied. And yet in American media all over the place we are celebrating gay marriage, we are flaunting gay marriage, and I ask, does this not also offend Muslims?"
So in one fell swoop he blames The Gays and The Muslims for all our ills.
Gay people should be put on an island to see if they die out
Texas Loon, and Congressman, Louie Gohmert, took his opposition to same-sex marriage to an entirely new level during a speech at Virginia's Liberty University in November.
"How about if we take four heterosexual couples, and put them on an island where they have everything they need to live and exist, and we take four couples of just men and put them on an island where they have all they need to survive. And then let's take four couples of just women and put them on an island, and then let's come back in 100 years and see which one nature favors."
Obviously, the best idea would be to put Gohmert on an island and never go back.
The word "garriage" should be used for "gay marriage"
Pat Fagan, who is the director of the Family Research Council's Marriage and Religion Research Institute, would like marriages between two men referred to as "garriage," and those between two women "larriage."
This from a man whose last name is Fagan? Seriously?
There aren't enough places for anti-gay people to shop anymore
Mission: America's Linda Harvey, whose opposition to the LGBT community is well-established, argued that the number of "family-friendly, Christian-affirming" shops and restaurants she'll allow herself to frequent during the holiday shopping season is "growing shorter all the time."
“Think about the grave harm homosexuality is doing to American culture, to our schools, to our freedoms, to our churches. Let’s do what we can to honor the standards of Christ during the celebration of His birthday."
Let’s honor Christ by showing our hatred. How, um, Christ-like?
Pat Robertson blames the gays for the U.S. stock market plunge
In September, Certifiable Loon™ Pat Robertson suggested that recent turmoil in the stock market was somehow tied to same-sex marriage:
"Our finances right now are hanging by a thread. The rupture of the entire financial framework of our world is so tenuous right now. If there was ever a time that we need the grace of God, it is now, and unless something is done to change the courts and to change the way this country is going, it is just a question of time before the fabric ruptures and we’ll all suffer because of it."
Again, if The Gays can shut down the stock market to get our way, why didn’t we do it sooner?
People are "born" homophobic
Bryan Fischer twisted Gaga’s pro-equality mantra for his own hate message:
"Who would choose, at this time in our nation's history, to be a Christian? You're ridiculed. You're mocked. You're made fun of. So our defense is, hey, I was born that way."
Nope, you were indoctrinated by your parents or your own mind, and as for the hate, look at a child and learn that hate is taught … by folks like Bryan Fischer.
Woman sues all gay people on God's behalf
Identifying herself as an ambassador for God and Jesus Christ, Sylvia Ann Driskell, a Nebraska woman filed a federal lawsuit against all homosexual people on the planet for breaking “religious and moral laws” in May.
Driskell argued that “homosexuality is a sin and that the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet(?)”
Um, to spare ourselves from people like you, Sylvia.
Dumb is funny, right, but it’s also scary what some folks believe and say aloud. Let’s hope the ignorance starts slipping away in 2016.