I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

Well, it took her awhile to comment because she was busy getting arrested [again] and then having some sort of skirmish in a hotel room [again] but finally Original Recipe Lohan™ has set down the prescription meds and come to Mama Dina’s defense after Dina appeared drunk-and-druggy on :Dr.” Phil a couple of weeks back.

And of course, she did it via Twitter because, well, she’s Lindsay Lohan and she’s a moron:

Now, about that skirmish….

According to a lotta folks, the least of which is the Cracktress herself, Lohan got into a kind of “scuffle” with a guy she picked up in a bar and then took back to her hotel room—Sidenote: Any bets on a story in a couple of weeks about how Lohan skipped out on the hotel bill?—and when she assumed he’d taken photos of Lindsay partying, she became enraged and snatched his cell phone to delete the pictures.

Well, party boy, Christian LaBella, demanded she hand over the phone and the kerfuffle ensued. Lindsay claims LaBella pushed her on the bed and then punched her and choked her in an effort to get his phone back, so she pulled the fire alarm and LaBella fled.

LaBella was later arrested and charged with assault and harassment, but, upon further investigation, police dropped the assault charge. See, there was no evidence on Lohan from the ALLEGED punches and chokes.

Now both LaBella and Lohan filed harassment complaints against each other.

Now, I’m not saying that any man should punch or choke Lohan—if he, in fact, did—but this story sounds less to me like “Gimme that phone so I can delete those pictures” and more like “Hey! I told you it was $75 for a happy ending.”

Just sayin’.

Is it a bromance or a homomance?

The newest tale outta H’wood is about the, um, relationship between Tom Cruise, Scientology Robot-In-Chief, and David Miscavige, Scientology Ruler. Many are calling it “the most intense bromance in history.”

Seriously. And there they are, in two pictures, looking like a gay male porn Days Of Thunder and, well, looking ready for that big sloppy wet kiss.

ALLEGEDLY.

And this relationship is why Tommy will never ever leave Scientology, even though it ruined two of his “marriages’ and one of his “relationships.”
See, Miscavige “understands” Tommy. There is not another living soul who cares enough about Tom Cruise to spy on him for years in order to send Nicki Kidman packing just to keep him in line.

No one “understands” Tommy enough to be so obsessed with him without being charged with stalking. Miscavige ALLEGEDLY plays and replays all of Tommy’s Scientology audit tapes so he can relive Cruise’s deepest, darkest secrets. No one, and I mean no one, does it for Tommy like Davey Miscavige.

And you gotta admit, they’re kinda adorable together.

I’m sick of these two and just wish they’d go away.

Between beating women and throwing chairs outta windows when asked about beating women, and the beaten woman who tries to paint herself as a role model for young girls while getting drunk and puking in public, I’m over them.

But now it seems that Rihanna and Chris Brown have hooked up again. Regularly.

The rumors have been around for a while, and sometimes the duo denies them, and sometimes they give that sly wink of non-denial, but now it appears that Rihanna and Brown--who has/had a steady girfriend in  Karrueche Tran--have been banging each other in public bathrooms at Griffin nightclub in New York's Meatpacking district.
A source—and if she wasn’t drunk, it might have been Lohan—says, “They sat two tables away from each other. Chris made his way over to Rihanna. He raised his shirt and was dancing promiscuously. Then they started dancing together and hugging and kissing in front of everyone.”

Then, observers saw them go into the bathroom together, and when Rihanna emerged, “She seemed a little ruffled.”

At least she didn’t look beaten and bruised. This time.

Oh dear, she gained about a thousand pounds, popped out the baby, and is struggling to lose the weight so she can be a cover girl again, and now comes word that Jessica Simpson’s baby daddy is messing around on her.

Eric Johns was a professional football player, and now that he’s retired, his main job seems to be “taking Jessica out to eat” and “having sex with Jessica Simpson”. He plays golf too. And there were a lot of rumors that Jessica put Eric on her business payroll, so he gets a check for “advising” her on various things too.

Kinda like a Honey Boo Boo JLo and Casper, if you will.

So, of course, like JLo and her paid boy-toy, comes rumors that Eric might still be sexually involved with his ex-wife; the one he left when he started up with Jessica.

Now, the news shouldn’t come as any surprise to Simpson, who knew Johnson was married when she met him at a mutual friend’s house; he even brought Keri as his date! Now, folks say Eric and Keri were having trouble, but, while “on a break” Eric jumped at the chance to pork—no pun intended—Simpson.

And bay made three, plus a mistress.

Which will all come out when Keri turns up pregnant.

ALLEGEDLY.

After that long summer—and I think it was longer—Britney Spears was put under a conservatorship, and part of that arrangement was to keep an eye on her internet and cell phone usage.

A source—and you know it’s the gal behind the counter at Popeye’s—says, "Britney's cell phone and internet use is restricted and heavily monitored, and this is done for her protection. Britney's father, Jamie, and her fiancé, Jason, want to make sure that her former manager, Sam Lutfi, isn't able to contact her. Britney and Jason essentially share a cell phone, and it's routinely checked to see who has been calling. Furthermore, the cell phones have been programmed to block calls from phone numbers associated with Lutfi. Brit's computer usage is also restricted in the sense that certain websites are blocked. Her family doesn't want Britney reading negative stories that would upset her. Again, this is all done with love and for her well-being."

Or keeping her from ordering boatloads of Uggs online and filling her car with Starbucks’ Venti Vanilla Lattes.

Poor Kim Kash Kow Kardashian.

No one likes it when their past comes back to haunt them, but when their past includes their own homemade porn tape—which your mama ALLEGEDLY sold to make a name for her child—it’s even harder.

It seems Kash Kow was dining at swanky Miami steakhouse Prime 112 when her co-star in that sex tape, Ray J, entered the building with a large entourage of hangers-on and, um, porn stars, I’m guessing.

Kash Kow was dining solo because Kanye was in Paris for Fashion Week—and Anna Wintour had Kim’s passport revoked so she couldn’t attend—and she slinked out a side door before meeting up with her Bang Buddy.

Why so shy, Kim? You should’a picked up the tab for Ray J’s party because, without him, you’d be just another girl from the valley with a big ass.

Sidenote: Apparently Kanye has his own sex tape being shopped around now, and it features the rapper doing the nasty with a Kash Kow look-alike. Hmm, maybe Kim really did give up her career in porn, or maybe Kanye just wanted a younger version of Kash Kow.