Bobservations

I love me some HGTV and the other night they debuted a new show called Celebrity IOU where a celebrity helps a friend who needs a remodeling project done, and they do it on the sly.

First up was Brad Pitt, who wanted his make-up artists garage studio turned into a guest cottage, storage space and make up spot. Brad was there to help with the design and some, some, of the labor. As the show started it was those twin brothers—I forget their names and can’t be bothered to look them up—and Carlos said:

“Ooh, those brothers could come work on our house.”

“Are you kidding? Brad can come work on our house.”

“Oh, he’s okay.”

During the opening of the show, Bard talked about his make-up artist and friend, and they showed pictures 0f the two of them working on films together for the last thirty years, Young and blond Brad Pitt? Check. Long-haired Pitt? Check. Tatted Pitt in Fight Club? Check.

We watched the whole show together and the reveal to Brad’s friend, who was sweet and funny, and then Carlos says to me:

“Is that Brad Pitt?”

Seriously, an hour-long show, he didn’t hear the name Brad Pitt that was said dozens of times, or even see Brad Pitt or even notice the old photos of Brad Pitt.

Is.That.Brad.Pitt.

Oy.

It appears that the government stimulus checks may be delayed because _____wants his signature on them so that we can all thank him.

I’d like his signature, not on a check, but on every single mother**king COVID-19 death certificate. That’s all.

Interesting … March 2020 was the first March without a school shooting in the U.S. since 2002. So, clearly the virus saved some loves.

Virginia Democratic Governor Ralph Northam just signed a bill that adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the state’s nondiscrimination law.

Virginia will join 20 other states, D.C. and Puerto Rico that explicitly ban discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and is the first Southern state to enact these protections.

Maine’s Democratic Governor Janet Mills saw a significant approval bump from last fall showing that Mainers are more likely to trust the state government to respond to the coronavirus outbreak than the federal government.

The same poll showed a further drop in approval for Republican Senator, _____ lover, and lying flip-flopper Susan Collins since last fall.

Win.Win.

During a church service on March 22, Bishop Gerald O. Glenn got his congregation at Richmond’s New Deliverance Evangelistic Church to stand up and prove how many were there despite warnings against gatherings of more than 10 people, saying:

“I firmly believe that God is larger than this dreaded virus. You can quote me on that.”

Glenn died Saturday from COVID-19 complications.

Sorry, not sorry.

You can quote me on that.

_____ said he would soon set up an advisory council of doctors and businessmen to recommend when to reopen America.

Yes, his daughter, Sweatshop Barbie, and her husband, Slumlord Kushner, are on the list.

Below is my list which I think is better.

_____ and three of his adult children, Junior, the Dumb One and Sweatshop Barbie, have filed a notice of appeal in federal court after last week suffering a major defeat over a bid to keep a fraud and deceptive trade practices lawsuit out of the public judicial system.

Part of the original SDNY ruling declared that long-secret tapes of the president culled from the archives of The Celebrity Apprentice must, finally, see the light of day. Tapes that allegedly showcase then-game show host Trump engaging in racist and sexist commentary.

And now, a quartet of Palate Cleansers … I’ve been watching movies under lockdown, some good, some bad. One was A Simple Favor, a twisty, turn-y black comedy about murder and insurance fraud and Blake Lively, who I find hot, you know, for a woman.

But that film also starred one Dustin Milligan [upper left] as a hot stud—and he delivered—along with Henry Golding [upper right]as a perhaps not-so-grieving husband. Milligan brought the pecs and abs, while Golding brought the charm and sex appeal and British accent.

I also watched Mortal Engines, a kind of futuristic, science fiction Steampunk tale of cities on wheels …and in the sky … and in the water … trying to survive after global devastation. It featured one Robert Sheehan [bottom right] as the sultry good guy in guy liner and Regé-Jean Page [bottom left] in sexy dreads who …SPOILER ALERT …gives his life for the fight.

Lockdown with any of these four would be, well, um, let’s just say I wouldn’t argue against it.