Thursday, March 05, 2015

Random Musings

Oh Ben Carson, you will never be president of this country; especially when one considers the Crazy Talk that falls from your lips. Which is what happened when you appeared on CNN this week and called ‘gay’ a choice — which leads to the question, when did you choose 'straight, Ben?

But I digress … see Ben says ‘gay’ is a choice because “a lot of people who go into prison straight, and when they come out they’re gay.” Yeah … he did. Only now he’s backpedaling, blaming his quote, blaming the actual words that came out of his asshatted mouth, on CNN:

“It was a 25 minute interview they chopped, and you see what part they emphasized. I did learn something very important: For certain networks, never do a pre-taped interview. Always do it live.”

But that’s a lie … too; a look back at the interview and you see that there were clearly no jump-cuts and no edits — just a straight back-and-forth about whether homosexuality is a choice.

So, Carson apologized:

“I realized that my choice of language does not reflect fully my heart on gay issues. I do not pretend to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation. I regret that my words to express that concept were hurtful and divisive. For that I apologize unreservedly to all that were offended."

We’re born gay, Ben, you made a choice to be a bigot, and a stupid one at that. Oh, and once more, you will never be president of this country, so sit down.
So the Benham brothers — David and Jason — those anti-gay-boys-who-were-gonna-have-a-show-on-HGTV-until-HGTV-found-out-they-were-bigots have announced that they’ve turned a gay man straight, y’all!

They claim to have saved a man from homosexuality simply by buying him tickets to see the Chicago Cubs play baseball. 

Well, it might work; I once turned a woman into a lesbian after giving her a Home Depot gift card. 

Sit down, boys.
We’re hooked on Empire. We love the show and all its WTFuckery storytelling, but this week I realized I’d seen the show before ….decades ago.

Then I realized: Empire is Dynasty set to hip hop. See, in Empire, there's this giant corporation — a record company — with a homophobic father, his troublemaking ex-wife, his gay son, whom he wishes wasn’t gay, a hard partying child, and one that’s slightly off-center, in this case bipolar and off his meds.

In Dynasty, there was this giant corporation — an oil company — with a homophobic father, his troublemaking ex-wife, his gay son, whom he wishes wasn’t gay, a hard partying child, and one that’s slightly off-center, in this case because he was a bastard child and his father never recognized him.

Now, I’m not saying it’s bad thing, I’m just saying what it is … but I’ll keep watching because, well, Cookie ... and Jamal.

Scary news earlier this week when word leaked that Dame Maggie Smith would be leaving Downton Abbey after its sixth season — set to air here in the colonies next year.

Now it seems to have all been a joke and a spokesperson for Milk Publicity says that Smith had long ago agreed to stay with the show “for as long as the [it] runs.”

I feel like we dodged a Dowager Countess bullet!
In addition to loving Empire, I also love Gotham. It’s not as dark as the Christopher Nolan films, and yet not as cartoony as the series, or some of the earlier versions of the film.

Plus, it also features Cory Michael Smith as Ed Nygma, who will be The Riddler one day.
He’s kinda nerdy on the show, but in that HGN [Hot Gay Nerd] kinda way.
Lindsey Graham, our Republican wingnut Senator from South Carolina, took a cheap shot at House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi over her reaction to Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu's speech to Congress. Graham said Pelosi's frustration with Netanyahu was apparent throughout the event, making a comment about her appearance during the speech:

“Did you see Nancy Pelosi on the floor? Complete disgust. If you can get through all the surgeries, there’s disgust.”

Misogynist pig … when then non-apologized by saying it was a cheap attempt at humor.

Two things Miss Lindsey:
#1: Humor should be funny, yours wasn’t, and …
#B: For a gay man you have no Snarkability. Perhaps if you cane out of the closet you’d be better at it.

Now, sit down.

A New Jersey man who suffered burns to his face and legs from a sizzling-hot steak fajita skillet while praying had his suit against Applebee's thrown out. The man claimed his server did not tell him the skillet was hot and as he bowed his head in prayer over the entrée the skillet splashed him with grease in the left eye and face, and then he knocked the plate onto his lap.

The court ruled that it was "self-evident" that a sizzling plate of food would be hot.

Um … duh?


anne marie in philly said...

"They claim to have saved a man from homosexuality simply by buying him tickets to see the Chicago Cubs play baseball."

da fuq? the cubs are a consistently lost cause; I think going to one of their games would make a person stark raving looney, not str8.

these 2 boyz need to STFU NAOW!

the dogs' mother said...

My goodness - baseball, who knew?

Susan said...

In that picture, Cory Michael Smith reminds me of a younger version of Anthony Perkins in "Psycho."

mistress maddie said...

I too heard Maggie would be staying, but there is to be only one more season left. Fellows is going to do a project for NBC. Why? I too love Gotham!!!!! Had no idea it would be so good, and the villains are developing nicely. And James Gordon, hubba,hubba. And how twisted, evil and crazy is Fish Mahoney? Meanwhile, your telling me all I have to do is go to a Phillies baseball game and I'll be straight? No thanks, I enjoy my life now and enjoy its delights.

Professor Chaos said...

1. I never understood the Ben Carson phenomenon. His insanity seems to be his only qualification.

2. Baseball? How did watching muscular young men running around in stretch pants turn a man hetero?

3. If Maggie Smith leaves Downton Abbey, I will NOT be responsible for my actions!

4. If you get hot oil burning your face while you're praying, maybe God's trying to tell you something. Like "hey, read the New Testament, you're not supposed to pray in public." Or "Jeezus, man Applebee's? What the hell are you thinking?"

Raybeard said...

But precisely what IS this 'Downtown Abbey' thingy?

Helen Lashbrook said...

I'm wondering if your Home Depot conversion therapy is reversible if you take the card away? Ben Carson might be interested in that.

Blobby said...

at the Golden Globes, other DA cast members said this upcoming season would be the last. If true, then it would be Professor McGonagle's last season - along with everyone else.

Bob Slatten said...

Julian Fellowes, who created DA, is leaving after next season to create a show for NBC called 'The Gilded Age' ... kind of DA in the USA.

But the show may go on without him ... sad to say. I think.