Saturday, March 28, 2015

It's Snarkurday!

There’s no love lost between Rob Kardashian and his sister Kash Kow. She thinks he’s too fat and brings the family down, and he thinks she’s a self-obsessed, self-entitled, former porn star turned media whore … I think.
What I know is that Rob Instagrammed a screenshot [see it HERE] from the movie Gone Girl, showing a bloodied Amy Dunne as portrayed by Rosamund Pike, with the caption:
“This is my sister kim, the bitch from Gone Girl,,,”
See, what Rob has done is compare his sister to a selfish, sociopath who stops at nothing to get what she wants.
Uh huh, I get it.

LeAnn Rimes is an adulterer. Eddie Cibrian is an adulterer.
So, what does one adulterer do when she heads out of town leaving her adulterer husband at home?
If you’re LeAnn, when you head off to London for 10-days, you make sure you install hidden cameras in the manse so she can see what goes on at home; she even has alerts sent to her phone if the garage door opens because, you know, that’s how hookers and mistresses enter the house.
Why all that kerfuffle LeAnn? Just modify an ankle monitor to strap on Eddie’s junk and you can follow his penis around town while you’re gone.

Bethenny Frankel, former candidate for Martha Stewart: Apprentice, failed talk-show host, and former, now current, Real Housewife of New York, is swearing off marriage:
“I will never get legally married again. It doesn’t mean I would not commit to someone, I’m not jaded or bitter about love. I think there are amazing guys out there in the world. It’s none of that. I’ll never ever be legally married again.”
Somewhere, Marriage breathed a sigh of relief.

Vin Diesel thinks that Furious 7 is going to win the Best Picture Oscar at the 2016 Oscars:
“Universal is going to have the biggest movie in history with this movie. It will probably win best picture at the Oscars, unless the Oscars don’t want to be relevant ever. This will win best picture,” Diesel said. “There is nothing that will ever come close to the power of this thing.”
Is there rehab for delusional and, if so, do they have a spare bed? Stat.

So, Jeremy Renner’s wife, Sonni Pacheco, decided she wanted a divorce a few months after they got married, and everything went cray.
Sonni claimed Jeremy had stolen her passport, birth certificate and social security card and demanded he return them so they could this party finished. But now, well, it’s all sunk to a whole sub-basement of nasty.
Jeremy is now saying that Sonni extorted him over some supposed sex tape if he didn’t follow through on his promise to get her a green card.
But all I can think of is this: who, seriously who, wants to see a Jeremy Renner sex tape?
I’d need to scrub my eyeballs with bleach afterwards and I am not doing that … again.

A celebrity booking agency has told the Texas attorney general’s office it is not all right, all right, all right to make public how much the University of Houston is paying Matthew McConaughey to speak at the school’s commencement ceremony.
The university has declined to release the information because its contract with California-based Celebrity Talent International includes a confidentiality clause that gives the agency a chance to object. The school has asked the attorney general’s office to issue an opinion on whether such information can be kept private.
What’s the big secret? He’s probably being paid in weed and Doritos.


Ron said...

You still have the best gossip blog in the blogosphere!

anne marie in philly said...

frankel (and rimes and renner) make a mockery of marriage, but a same-sex couple can't get married cause...WHY?

Mitchell is Moving said...

Ah, thanks for giving me my snarky pleasure... even if I only know who half these people are anymore (and I'm so grateful for that)!

mistress maddie said...

Rob just may have rose 8 pegs on my upgrade chart. Would someone just shoot that bitch in that big ass with an elephant dart! Ahhhh poor Bethany.......running back to the Real Housewives. That's got to be a step backwards for her....or down. I'd be more than happy to keep on Eddie. After all, there are no women at the Casa.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for Snarkurday, my new favorite way to start the weekend!


the dogs' mother said...

Just assume you are being recorded, audible and visual, at all times and you'll be fine. :-)

Robb Delman said...

"Somewhere, Marriage breathed a sigh of relief" is absolutely INFUSED with wonderfulness.